Making It Right
by MistressH
Summary: Christian wrongly accuses Ana of cheating when she tells him she's pregnant. Years later when he discovers the truth he needs to find a way to fix things and make his family whole. Sightly OC, No Elena/BDSM
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

I'm nervous when I wake up this morning.

I need to tell Christian what I found out yesterday and I'm scared because I know it will change things and he will surely have one of his freak outs because it's out of his control. Surely it won't be that bad. Generally news like this is happy, for most couples anyway.

We met eight months ago at a charity event which his parents were hosting, through my best friend and roommate at the time Kate who is dating Christian's brother Elliot and we hit it off straight away. He asked me for my number and I would have been an idiot to not give it to him. The man looked like a Greek god and made me laugh. He called me the next day and we had our first date the following Friday evening, which ended up turning into a two day fuck-a-thon.

Pretty soon we were spending all of our free time together. Four months later I moved in with him into his penthouse and two months ago he proposed. He actually asked me to marry him. It was so unexpected and romantic, I couldn't be happier.

He made it so easy to fall in love with him, with his big infectious smile and generous heart. I can't imagine not ever being with him.

The wedding is seven weeks away and is to take place in the beautiful backyard of his parent's house overlooking the water. He left most of the other details to me, his only request was that the ceremony be there. The plan is after our honeymoon for us to live in London for three months where GEH is setting up its European office.

This certainly puts a spanner in the works but it doesn't have to.

Things are so good between us that I dread what this news will do. We have never really spoken about children but I assume since we're getting married that means having a family at some stage. Maybe I should have brought it up before now but everything has happened so fast between us and we've enjoyed spending this time just the two of us, being in the moment.

We love each other. He tells me so every single day. I have to believe that everything will be fine. He has a tendency to overreact, perhaps today he'll surprise me.

I walk out of our bedroom to see him standing in the kitchen wearing only his pyjama pants, his golden, muscular chest on display. His hair its usual mess from sleep.

I make my way over and stand on the opposite side of the breakfast bar to him, placing my sweaty hands down on to the cool marble.

"Morning, baby. Would you like some tea?"

It's now or never Ana. Do it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

"I'm pregnant." I tell him.

He stops making his coffee, raises his head and looks at me with cold eyes.

"What did you say?" He hisses.

"I'm pregnant."

"You can't be." His eyes are wide as he looks at me in disbelief.

"Well I am. I know it's not something we planned on happening just yet but we can do this. I'm scared too but everything will work out."

He stomps around the breakfast bar to stand in front of me, pointing his finger in my face.

"You're lying. There is no way you can be pregnant."

"Why do you keep saying that? I saw my doctor yesterday, she confirmed I'm six weeks along."

I try to hand him the ultrasound scan photo that I had in my back pocket but he doesn't take it, just looks at it in disgust then knocks it out of my hand. I watch it flutter down onto the floor by my feet.

"Who else have you been fucking because that kid is not mine." He growls.

I have never seen him so angry before.

"How can you say that to me? You know there has been no one else, it's only ever been you. Christian please, you know I could never do that to you. I love you."

Tears start to fall down my face.

I knew he would take the news badly but I never expected or imagined that he would outright deny it or accuse me of cheating on him.

"I know no such thing and now you come to me trying to pass some other bastards kid off as my own. You really thought this plan of yours would work and then you'd be set for life. Please stop with the crocodile tears, they're pathetic."

What the hell is he talking about? What plan? We're supposed to be getting married soon. Has he lost his mind?

"Christian I swear the baby is yours."

Why is he being so cruel?

"IT CAN'T BE." He screams at me.

"WHY NOT?" I yell back hurting. Why doesn't he believe me?

"I had a vasectomy years ago so there is no way in hell that kid you're carrying is mine. I never wanted children."

I'm left speechless. Why did he never tell me this before? This is one major detail that I had every right to know.

In my heart I know I haven't been unfaithful, I have not done anything wrong and this baby I'm carrying is a part of us both and a miracle if what he is saying is true because somehow I did manage to fall pregnant. My doctor called me to advise me that they had a faulty batch of the depo shot and wanted me to come in to have a further shot just in case but it was already too late.

He takes my stunned silence as guilt and starts to walk away.

"This baby is yours. You can deny it, you can call me any names you want and accuse me until you're blue in the face but I know the truth and I have not cheated on you. You should have told me about this, I'm your fiancée, I had every right to know, Christian because it doesn't only concern you." I yell at his retreating back.

Now I'm shaking from anger.

How dare he walk away? Does he really think this conversation is over? He's acting like a child.

He stops and turns around.

"Get out," he whispers.

 _He's kicking me out?_

"Christian, please, calm down and think logically about this. Sometimes these things still happen. Nothing is 100% full proof."

He may have not wanted to be a father but it's happened and we need to deal with it like adults.

"No. Get the fuck out. I never want to see you again or your spawn."

He walks past me and calls the elevator up then comes back over to me.

"Christian, you're overreacting. Please just think about what you're saying right now, listen to me. Listen to yourself."

I reach for his face but he grabs my wrists before I can touch him.

"Keep your whore hands off me. Who knows where they've been." He spits at me.

Did he really call me a whore? You fucking bastard.

I take a step back and let my eyes roam over his face as they fill with unshed tears. I don't know the person standing before me. Who is this man that can say such hurtful things to me after telling him I'm carrying his child.

I raise my hand and slap him across the cheek before he has a chance to react, his face forced to turn from the force. My hand is left stinging from the impact and his cheek now has a fine red handprint on it.

He stands there motionless. His eyes burning with rage.

"Congratulations, you have just managed to destroy everything we have in a matter of a few thoughtless seconds. I hate you." I stammer through the lump in my throat.

"You did this, I thought I could trust you, thank you for showing your true colours before it's too late." There is absolutely no emotion in is voice.

He can't be serious? I did this?

He drags me by the arm over to the foyer, his grip tight and painful.

"Christian, stop you're hurting me."

He's not listening, it's like he's entered another zone and closed himself off.

I hear the ping of the elevator as it arrives.

He lifts my left hand up and rips my engagement ring off my finger before he practically pushes me into the car with nothing but the clothes I'm wearing then walks away as the doors close on me.

"Christian." I sob.

The elevator reaches the ground floor after what seems like only one second, the tears are blurring my vision as I walk through the lobby and out onto the street.

Where am I going to go?

What am I going to do now?

The life and future we were planning together gone.

I can't believe what just happened. I'm alone and pregnant. My heart is broken, shattered and will never be the same again.

How could he do this? So much for his love meaning anything. He was so quick to kick me out. I didn't make this baby on my own.

I can't stay in Seattle I need to leave. I need to be as far away from him as possible.

I place my hand on my stomach.

"Everything will be okay little one. We have each other."

Even if he comes crawling back on his hands and knees apologising I will never forgive him for the way he just treated me.

With a final look up at Escala I wrap my arms around myself start to walk down the street to wherever the road leads me.

 **A/N: Next chapter will be much longer and up next week. There will be a time jump in the next chapter.**

 **This will be a short story. Not exactly sure how many chapters yet.**

 **Taken With You will be updated soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just want to say you all amazed me with your response to this story so thank you very much and thank you to everyone who reviewed and has favourited or followed this.**

 **Chapter 1**

 **5 years later**

 **APOV**

I've been living in Savannah for the past five years. When I first arrived I stayed with my mother but I knew it wasn't a permanent solution. I had a baby to look after and we had to make a life for ourselves and not be dependent on other people.

Two years ago I had saved up enough of a deposit and managed to purchase a cute townhouse with a little backyard so there's room to run around and play not too far away from my mother's place, so she is still close by if I need her. I'm proud of our home. It might not be much but it's ours and I've tried my best to make it a happy one for myself and my daughter.

Charlotte, or Charlie as she likes to be called just turned four years old. I won't lie, it hasn't been easy but it has been worth it, especially when I see her smile each day.

After her first birthday I went back to work and was lucky to find something close to home as a personal assistant in a real estate office. I miss publishing, it was my dream and I loved it and hope to get back to it one day but for now I will do what I need to for our family of two.

My boss is a great guy. His name is James and moved here from Ireland as his wife wanted to be close to her family after they had their first child. I love his accent, even though at times he has to repeat things to me.

He is also very understanding when things come up with Charlie that can't be avoided. He himself has two little girls of his own and I've become good friends with his wife. It's great to sometimes hang out with them and Charlie has some friends to play with.

The day that Christian kicked me out after walking for about two hours in a state of shock and confusion I collect called Kate from a payphone and asked her to come pick me up. I was lost and had no idea where I was.

When she brought me back to the place she was sharing with Elliot all puffy eyed from crying and devastated I only told them that Christian and I had broken up but not the reason why and that I needed to stay with them for a few days. I asked them to go to Escala the next day while Christian was at work to collect my belongings because I couldn't go back there.

As the days passed Kate and Elliot were pissed that I wouldn't tell them what happened. Elliot tried to call Christian to get answers but from what I know he wouldn't answer his calls. They couldn't understand what went wrong because we seemed so happy together. But I never said a word except we wanted different things.

I don't know why I didn't just throw him to the wolves and be done with it, but at the time I still loved him and I wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with the fallout.

Two weeks later I had quit my job at SIP, packed up my things and moved to Georgia where my mother lived.

My stepfather Ray was understandably upset that I was moving so far away but after I told him about the baby he understood why I needed to go. He was so enraged at Christian and really who could blame him. He was making all sorts of threats towards him I had to beg him to not do anything crazy, the jerk wasn't worth him getting in trouble over. All he told me was to not worry.

Thank goodness for Skype, it means we can keep in touch and he gets to see Charlie and not miss out on seeing her grow even from a distance. He tries to visit when he can but it's not all that often.

My mother was a godsend in those few first rough months where I was heartbroken and afraid, battling morning sickness and then again when Charlotte was born. She was there for me, she let me cry or picked me back up when I felt overwhelmed and ready to give up, not believing that I could do this on my own. She was there to hold my hand when I was in labour for 22 hours, not an experience I will ever forget.

 _Flashback_

 _It's been 15 fucking agonising hours and this kid is still in me. Why won't she come out? I'm sick of all these nurses and doctors coming in smiling at me, checking my vagina only to tell me it won't be long now. If I hear that one more time I swear I will murder someone._

 _Why don't they try putting up with this pain for that long? My lower back is killing me and it doesn't matter what position I sit in, nothing helps._

 _I'm exhausted, covered in sweat and tired. I just want to sleep._

 _My mother told me to have the epidural but no, I had to be a hero and have a natural labour, I wanted to feel and experience it all. Yeah well fuck you childbirth – you suck._

 _It's a quiet moment between contractions and all I can think is that Christian should be here with me, to hold my hand or rub my back, but he's not. I still miss him every day and I get so upset over it that I start crying. Damn you Christian Grey. Why did he ruin us?_

 _Finally I'm told it's time to push and I get scared. Can I really do this?_

 _I look over at my mother in a panic._

 _She takes me hand and not only calms me down but gives me the words of encouragement I need._

 _"_ _Come on, Ana, you are strong and can do this baby girl. Come on sweetheart, your baby will be here with you in your arms very soon, don't be afraid."_

 _Okay, I'm ready to do this._

 _I bear down and push with everything I have._

 _Oh My God! The burning. Why did no one tell me about this fucking burning? I feel as if I'm being ripped in half._

 _As soon as I hear her cries and I hold her in my arms all the pain and everything else just disappears. My heart fills with so much love for this tiny little human that she is the only thing that matters to me from this moment on, everyone else be damned._

 _I finally understand what they mean by a mother's love. I would give my life to protect her. I also now realise the amount of love my mother has for me if it's anything like what I'm feeling just looking at this precious baby._

 _I wish I could give you the life and family you deserve but we'll be okay kiddo. I won't let you down._

 _I promise myself that today was the last day I was going to think about or even cry over one Christian fucking Grey. It's his loss._

 _End flashback_

I have made a life for myself here. Sure it can be a bit lonely at times but I make do.

Kate and Elliot come to visit us whenever they can. They got married three years ago and have a daughter named Ava. She is the cutest little girl with her strawberry blonde locks.

I'll never forget the day when Kate asked me over the phone to be her maid of honour, I wanted nothing more in the world than to be there for her but I couldn't be. I let down my best friend and broke her heart because I was too much of a chicken to go back to Seattle. She argued with me but there was no changing my mind.

The first time they flew down to visit me I was seven months pregnant and couldn't hide it. They put two and two together and knew the baby had something to do with me leaving so I told them what occurred that day I told Christian I was pregnant. Elliot was ready to fly back and kill him but I told him to stop and leave it be. It was too late and I didn't want to come between them and have him pick sides, they're still brothers after all.

However he didn't listen and after Charlotte was born Elliot tried to talk sense to his brother. Christian didn't want to hear it and forbade his brother from ever mentioning my name again. His loss because she is the most sweetest and loving and clever little girl. Everyone adores her.

Elliot once asked me if he could tell his parents about her, let them know they have a granddaughter but I said no. That it's not his place to tell them and besides Christian made it clear he doesn't want us in his life, that she's not even his. I felt like a total bitch asking Elliot to keep this from his parents, however I felt it was the best thing at the time. Maybe I was also a little hurt as well because Grace never bothered to reach out to me after I left, I thought she cared about me but then again who knew what lies her son had spilled about me.

I've tried not to think about him and all the pain he caused me like I promised myself but it's impossible when my daughter has his eyes and his temper and every now and then I see his photo in the media. He looks the same, good looking bastard that he is.

It's our usual Monday morning mad rush to get ourselves dressed and ready to leave for the day. I need to drop Charlie off at day care and get to work.

James told me last week that some big city guy from a huge corporation is coming down in three days time to look at some large farming properties near here and if we hook him that will mean a massive commission for us. It's going to be a hectic week and we need to have a list of properties ready to be shown and all the details available to him.

I'm just washing up our breakfast dishes while Charlie is hopefully dressing herself and didn't get distracted.

"Charlie, are you dressed?"

"Yes, mummy," she calls out from her room.

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yeah."

I highly doubt that, this child hates them. I walk into her room to see her trying to buckle her sandals. I kneel down to help her.

"Open your mouth, let me see."

He eyes widen but she lets me inspect her mouth. I take a little sniff, there is no trace of mint and I can see remnants of her cereal stuck in her back teeth.

"Charlotte Steele, go brush those teeth now or your breakfast will be stuck there forever and start to grow mushrooms."

She rushes to the bathroom. That always does the trick, she absolutely hates mushrooms. Thinks they're slimy.

Finally out the door, I lock up and we get into my second hand, dark green, two door Ford Festiva hatchback. It's been reliable so far and gets us where we need to go.

Thankfully we left on time and the traffic is not terrible this morning.

We reach Sunny Kids Kindergarten and Charlie runs ahead eager to see her friends. I follow behind carrying her My Little Pony backpack. I sign her in, hang up her bag on her hook and quickly greet her teacher before getting her attention to come say bye.

"Have a fun day. I'll see you this afternoon."

"Bye, mummy."

I give her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I love you." I say to her and go through our usual routine.

"I love you more."

"Not possible."

"Is possible."

"I love to you to the moon and back."

"I love you infinity."

"Okay, you win today. Bye sweety."

I arrive at the office with five minutes to spare. As I walk in I greet our receptionist Tracey. She graduated high school last year and needed to work to help support her family however plans on going to college next year if it all works out. She's a lovely girl.

"Morning, Tracey."

"Hi, Ana." She replies before answering the ringing phone.

I dump my bag on my desk, go into the staff kitchen to make myself a cup of tea then check to see if James is in yet.

I find him seated behind his desk in his office going over some contracts. Dressed in his usual white shirt with tie and black pants.

"Hi, how was your weekend?" I ask.

"Hey there, it was good. Took the girls out to the zoo seeing as it was nice weather. How about you?"

"It was fine, the usual, cleaning, washing, grocery shopping and keeping Charlotte entertained. Would you like some coffee?"

"No, thank you, I just had one. I emailed you some properties I think would work for our hot shot visitor. Can you go through them and make sure I have included everything. If it all looks good please email it to his assistant so he can decide which ones he wants to see before he arrives."

"Sure, leave it with me."

My morning is busy and spent working through and reviewing all the properties and paperwork that will be required. When I'm satisfied with it all I ask James if he has a contact or email for this guy's assistant. He tells me he'll forward me what she sent over to him and to reply to that email address.

A moment later I hear my computer ping and open up the email.

When I see who it's actually from I feel the blood drain from my face. Please god no, it's not possible, anyone but him. This has to be a cruel joke, right?

There on the bottom of the email it clearly says:

 _Andrea Parker, Personal Assistant to Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings_.

No way in hell am I helping him.

I want to avoid seeing him but how do I get out of it without making James ask questions.

Does Christian know I work here, is that why he chose us?

Fuck!

 **CPOV**

I'm fucking nervous and I don't do nervous.

I'm going to see Anastasia again today after all these years.

For the longest time I hated her and cursed the day I ever met her.

She lied to my face, or so I thought, about not being with anybody else but the proof was in the baby she was carrying. How could she do that, wasn't I enough for her?

I loved her and would have given her the whole world if she asked or it.

I refused to even think about her after I kicked her out but she still showed up in my dreams.

Elliot tried to talk to me about her once but I cut him off and told him to leave. I didn't want to hear her damn name mentioned.

I didn't hang around after she left but went to London to get started on setting up GEH over there sooner than planned. Instead of three months I ended staying for a year. I immersed myself in my work and lived and breathed it, only flying back to Seattle when absolutely necessary. Not that it helped me forget my heartache, everywhere I looked I was reminded of Ana and her love of books and history.

I recall on one occasion when I was back at Grey House for an important conference I was sitting behind my desk when Ray Steele barged into my office unannounced. Security could do nothing to stop him, not that Taylor tried very hard if I'm honest. I assume he had been waiting for me to show up there.

 _I stand up and walk around my desk. This is going to be ugly judging by the look in his eyes._

 _I don't have a chance to say or do anything before I'm knocked down on to the carpeted floor from the punch he landed on my jaw._

 _"_ _I knew my Annie was never good enough for you, but you had us all fooled that you loved her. If I ever see you again or you try to go near her they will never find the body." He spits out at me through clenched teeth._

 _"_ _They're both better off without you."_

He left straight after leaving me with a bloody lip.

At the time I thought she was still lying to everyone about the kid being mine. How wrong I was but maybe Ray was right and they are better off without me.

I haven't even tried to have a relationship with anyone else. I had a few one night stands with faceless women. Shit, there were times when I had trouble getting hard. My cock knew it was wrong, it wasn't Ana but that ship had sailed and wasn't coming back.

I shut myself off from everybody and lived like a fucking robot. Going from work to home and back again with an occasional screw thrown in. I wasn't going to trust or let anyone else in again.

I pulled away from my family. Every time I saw them all they asked about was Anastasia and the reason she left and an explanation to why the weeding was called off. I didn't want to talk about it. Let them speculate, it's not like it was really any of their business anyway.

Truth is I'm surprised I haven't heard from her. I really thought and was anticipating getting a request for a DNA test and child support but nothing ever came. Kid probably looked nothing like me to try pass it off as mine.

Then two years ago everything changed and I was made to be the biggest fool in the universe.

I was changing and updating my health insurance and needed to have a physical exam for it.

The doctor drew blood and put me through a shitload of tests which I was fine with until he asked for a sperm sample.

 _"_ _What the hell do you need that for?"_

 _"_ _It says in your file that you had a vasectomy over ten years ago. I would like to ensure that it's still effective. There have been instances and cases where following a ten year period the results of the surgery have lessened." The doctor explains to me._

 _I just stare at him dumfounded._

 _He's joking right? It's meant to be permanent._

Needless to say the results came back showing that yes in my case the effects had reversed themselves. I was fucking pissed, why had no one told me this was a possibility before, or maybe the doctor at the time did and I was just too young and naive to pay much attention to him afterwards, and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. What the fuck did I do to Ana?

I went home and cried that day. I hadn't cried since I was ten years old.

The only positive thing I could think of was thank god I used condoms to prevent STD's with all of the one nighters. God knows who they had all been with, so there was no chance of me knocking anyone else up.

I thought I was so sure she was lying to me. That there was no way in hell it was mine.

I'll never forget the look in her eyes when the elevator doors closed that day. She was broken, I broke her.

It's taken me this long to work up the courage to face her. I don't expect a warm welcome, I don't know what to expect really but I have to do this. I need to make it right. I'm not proud of my actions and need to make it up to her. She deserved better than that.

I didn't know where she was because I refused to allow myself to look for her. I asked Welch, my security guy to run a background check on her and he found her in Georgia, working in a real estate office and living on her own with her daughter. I have a daughter. It makes sense that she moved there, her mother lived there after all. I'm thankful she had her mother's support at least.

 _She should have had mine._

I'm positive a lot of people are going to want to hang me up by the balls and I'll let them. How the fuck do I tell my parents they have another granddaughter that they've known nothing about for so long. My mother will disown me. She loved Ana.

My brother can't stand to be in the same room as me and my parents always wonder what's going on with us. He and Kate are the only ones who know about the baby and what I did. I was certain he would have thrown me under the bus by now. Why hasn't he?

I came up with this idea to use the agency she works for to show me some properties in the hopes of getting close to her. I wasn't really looking to buy anything at the moment but farming property always comes in handy for GEH's projects.

Here I am now sitting in the back of the hired SUV, dressed in my best gray suit, trying to work up the courage to get out and walk into that office. Taylor stands just outside my door patiently waiting until I make a move.

Let's get it over with.

I open the car door, exit and walk inside the medium sized, modern decorated space. It's white and airy and gives off a welcoming feeling.

The bubbly receptionist greets me and tells me to head on back to Mr O'Donnell's office, it's the first one on my right and that he's expecting me.

I make my way through the office and turn right. I see the closed office door in front of me and an empty desk situated outside it. As I approach it I'm stopped in my tracks. This must be Ana's desk. There is a cup of tea on it but it's the framed photograph that has captured my attention.

Smiling back at me is a little girl. Straight away I can see that she has my eyes, the clear gray being reflected back at me. She's beautiful just like her mother. I regret so much within a split second. I don't know her. I know nothing about her.

I hear a noise and glance up to see O'Donnell's office door open and Ana walks out. My breath catches in my throat. She looks the same as I remember, even more beautiful if that's possible.

She sees me standing there and almost trips over from the shock of finding me there before her.

I want so much to just hold her, kiss her, fall to my knees and beg her forgiveness but I need to take things slow. I don't even know if she will give me a chance to talk to her and explain things.

We stand there staring at each other, taking in each other's appearance after so long. I don't know how much time passes however eventually I see her straighten her shoulders and take a few steps forward to stand behind her desk.

"Mr Grey. Welcome."

Her voice is arctic cold towards me. I hate it.

"Anastasia." I greet her.

"Mr O'Donnell would like me to apologise for me. He was in a minor accident this morning and will be late. He asked that I take you out to show you the first property on your list and he will meet you out there."

"That won't be a problem. You can drive with me if you prefer."

Maybe I can get her to ride with me and talk a little in the car but she declines.

"No, thank you. I will take my car as I will need to come back here. I believe you have the address. I'll meet you there. It's about a thirty minute drive from here."

"Very well, I'll see you there."

I can't help but feel a stab of disappointment.

I take another look at the photo of our daughter before I leave. She saw me looking at it but didn't say anything.

I spend the half an hour drive trying to come up with some way to get her to spend time with me, to talk to me. This is going to be harder than I thought.

Arriving at the property Ana spends fifteen minutes showing me around and giving me all the details of the size and what can be grown on the land, the expected yields and monetary income or other possible uses for it etc. But I don't give a shit about that.

She refuses to look at me and insists on being formal. She won't answer my questions or talk to me about anything other than the property.

I'm feeling frustrated and don't know what to do to get a reaction out of her. Even if it's a small one telling me to get lost.

I think there's only one way to get her to show me some sort of feeling so I go for it.

"You look beautiful by the way. Motherhood really agrees with you."

She spins on her heel, fire and hatred shooting out of her eyes.

"Are you even remotely interested in buying this property, Mr Grey or was this some ploy to get to me?"

"Both." I admit.

She shakes her head and looks down at the ground briefly before making eye contact once more.

We hear a car come up the long dirt drive. That must be her boss James O'Donnell coming up.

"Goodbye, Christian. Go back to the hole you crawled out from."

With that she turns around and walks away from me back to her car.

That went well.


	3. Chapter 3

**My apologies for taking so long to update and for any mistakes. I wanted to get this out to you all as soon as possible.**

 **You are all so passionate about this story and I had so many reviews that I wans't able to respond to you all but thank you for sticking with me.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **APOV**

I seem to be on autopilot for the remainder of the day. I'm not thinking about what I'm actually doing, my body is going through the motions while my mind refuses to stop playing today over and over again.

I was so mad at James this morning. He basically threw me to the lion unknowingly. The plan was to hide out in his office when Christian showed up and wait there until they left. But then he called me to tell me he was running late and to show the first property to the client.

I know it wasn't his fault he had an accident but I had to blame someone for me being in this mess now and he was the easiest to point the finger at.

I tried to back out of it, telling him I'm not a salesperson and will screw it up. But he insisted, saying I'll do great. What the hell was I going to do, how was I going to survive today?

I wasn't prepared to see him when I stepped out of James' office. Christian was early. Seeing him brought back all the feelings I had pushed deep down and away. All the hurt, anger, sadness, disappointment and every memory of every moment we shared together.

He looked really good, the bastard. He didn't seem to have suffered at all unlike me. I wanted to smack the shit out of him. Although however fleeting there was a very brief moment where I wanted to pretend that all was okay between us. What the hell is wrong with me?

The sound of his voice gave my body goosebumps and reacted in the way it always did when he was around. One look at him and my body had come alive, obviously my body doesn't know he's the enemy.

I saw him look at Charlie's photo on my desk. She has his eyes, he can't deny that. He didn't say anything about it though so I have no indication of what he's thinking. His face stayed impassive. Why was he here, standing before me? Christian never did anything without a reason behind it.

I played the ice queen and stayed professional. It was the only way for me to get through it without falling apart and lashing out at him. I'm positive that James would not have appreciated me telling off his client.

He has never asked about Charlotte's father and respected my privacy, however if Christian is to be around more often I will have to come clean to him so at least he understands why I go into a murderous rage around Christian.

I can't believe he attempted to be friendly, is he freaking nuts, I'm not going to pretend to like him and make small talk. He tried asking me what I've been up to, about my mother, how I like living here and about my job, mundane stupid questions but nothing about our child – his child. I didn't answer a single one.

I was never so happy as I was the moment I heard and then saw James drive up. I could finally escape from Christian's presence.

Walking back to my car I had to pass Taylor who was waiting for his boss outside their rental vehicle. He just nodded his head in greeting to me as I went by. I never realised how much I have missed everyone back in Seattle until just now by seeing Taylor's face. I was too busy being angry at Christian that I never thought about anyone else who was part of my life.

 _Deep breaths Ana._

I somehow drove back to the office, finished out the day and now I find myself outside the day care centre sitting in my car. Charlie can't see me so flustered and upset. I need to pull myself together. After a couple of minutes I get out and on wobbly legs make my way inside to collect Charlotte.

I wrap her up in my arms and hug her to me taking in her scent. I need the comfort of holding her to me, knowing she's safe. What if he's here to take here away from me? No, he wouldn't, would he? I mean after all this time he can't just show up to play daddy and fight for custody.

 _Don't get ahead of yourself Ana and jump to conclusions. You don't know anything for certain._

I get Charlie in her car seat, strap her in and drive us home. She's chatting away from the back seat telling me all about her day but I'm not really paying attention and taking in what she's saying.

I keep looking back at her through the rear view mirror to make sure she's still there. God, I'm acting crazy, she's not just going to disappear.

Back home I make a start on dinner. I boil some pasta for bolognese, the meat sauce I already have prepared when I made a large batch and froze it so it only needs defrosting. I almost burnt the garlic bread which my daughter found funny. Listening to her giggle had me giggling and relaxing that little bit more.

After a messy dinner, I've cleaned up and we're both sitting out on our back porch as it's such a lovely evening with fruit and vanilla ice-cream for dessert.

I'm don't want Charlie to pick up that I'm worried and am trying to act like everything is normal but I've been feeling out of whack since seeing him again. How is it possible for him to still affect me so much after all this time? Why is he back and what does he want?

Then he goes and makes that comment about motherhood agreeing with me. What the hell is he playing at?

Asshole.

 **CPOV**

It's just gone seven o'clock in the evening when I park outside Ana's home.

I'm on my own and have left Taylor behind at the hotel.

It's a cute light brick townhouse with flower boxes under the windows filled with colourful assorted blooms and steps leading to the dark wood front door.

I'm only here for a couple of days and I need to get her to talk to me even if I have to force her, I have to get her to listen to me. I've left it far too long and I can't let it go on any longer.

I'm walking up the driveway when I hear voices coming from the back. I stop to listen. I won't knock on the door if she has a visitor. They must be sitting outside in the yard because I can clearly hear their conversation.

"Mummy where's my daddy, why don't I have one?"

Is that her? Is that her voice?

"Why… what do you mean?" That's Ana.

"Well at school today Anthony said it's his daddy's birthday today and he's going to a special restaurant for dinner. Then he asked me what I do when it's my daddy's birthday. I told him I don't have one and he said that's not true, everyone has a daddy. So where's mine?"

She sounds so sweet. I look down at the ground in shame.

What is she going to tell her? How will she handle this?

"Well sweetheart, what he told you is true. Everybody in the world has both a mother and a father but sometimes families only have one or the other, sometimes both, or like me I have a step-father. Sometimes kids have only two mummies or two daddies. So you see there can be different combinations and it still makes them a family just like you and me."

"But where is he, why doesn't he live with us?"

"Umm… your father lives far away from here in another big city. But you do have one. When you were a baby he …..he wasn't sure if he would be able to look after you and wasn't ready to be a daddy because he was always very busy with work. Maybe one day you will get to meet him but I love you enough for both of us."

"Oh." I hear. Her childish voice breaks my heart. That little 'oh' conveying all sorts of thoughts and emotions.

I'm the biggest fucking jerk around. It's killing me to hear her so sad, but I have to admire Ana, the way she handled that so perfectly, she's an amazing mother.

I hear a car engine come up and stop in Ana's driveway so I hide around the corner of the house to not be seen. It's Carla. I'm certain she hates my guts as well after what I did to her daughter. She knocks on the door and from what I overhear when it opens is that she's here to pick up my daughter for a sleepover.

"Be good for grandma and have fun. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Mummy."

The door closes and Carla reappears holding the little girls hand who is skipping to the car. This is the first time I'm laying eyes on my child, my heart literally stops and skips a beat. She's gorgeous with those brown pigtails and in her yellow dress.

I swallow the lump in my throat and go to knock on the door. It's probably best that she's not here if it becomes ugly between Ana and I.

I rap three times on the wood and wait.

Ana opens it talking "Did you forget something?" She stops when she sees me and tries to slam the door shut. I grab hold of the edge of it to stop her.

"Ana please, we need to talk."

"Why are you here? What do you want? We have nothing to say to each other."

"That's not true and you know it. Please I need to apologise to you, I need to tell you something. It's important. We have a great deal to talk about including our child."

"Oh now we have a child together, I thought she was some other bastards."

I can't blame her for being angry. She has every right to be.

"I don't want to do this on the door step. Can I please come in?"

She thinks about, in the end opening the door wide enough for me to enter and stepping back. I walk in and take in my surroundings. It's small but bright and cosy. I see all the photos of the two of them around the room and on the walls. They're smiling and look so happy. It's my own damn fault I'm not in any of them.

Ana stands opposite me with her arms crossed.

"Say what you need to say and get out. You're not going to take her away from me are you?" She sounds terrified by that thought and I see her eyes widen from the fear of it.

I take a deep breathe in then out and stick my hands in my trouser pockets.

"I'm …. I'm sorry, Ana. For everything. I couldn't see past my anger and your supposed betrayal. I can't go back and change what happened all I'm asking is for a chance to meet my daughter and maybe if you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give me a second chance. I will do anything you ask of me, I will make it up to you somehow and no I don't want to take her away from you. I miss you. I still think about you every day. I haven't stopped loving you."

She looks at me unimpressed and disbelievingly.

"Really? Just like that, you think all you need to say is I'm sorry to take away five years of anger and pain."

"No, I don't, but it's a start."

She uncrosses her arms and points a finger at me.

"Let me tell you something. You were never there, not when I needed you, not when I gave birth to our daughter, on all the sleepless nights, the illnesses and fevers, not when she spoke her first words or took her first steps, her first day of day care, none of it, it was all me so what do you want, why now, Christian? You told me to my face that she wasn't yours."

"I was wrong, okay. I admit it. I was wrong and made a mistake. I shouldn't have accused you of cheating but you were pregnant and I couldn't believe what you were telling me and that it was mine so I lashed out at you."

"So what changed and now all of a sudden you think she's yours."

"Two years ago I had some tests done and found out that the vasectomy I had reversed itself which apparently sometimes happens. I didn't know that could even happen. It's taken me this long to get the courage to approach you."

"So you still didn't believe it until you had fucking doctors tell you otherwise. Wow, you're some piece of work. Why did you never tell me about it?"

"I don't know, it just never came up, we never discussed children and I had it done so long ago that I never really thought about it."

Ana moves and sits on the couch. I slowly lower myself beside her leaving a decent amount of space between us. I'm watching her however she is staring off into space.

"I cried myself to sleep for months. You don't get to do this, you can't fix this with a few words." She whispers and I can hear the pain in her words.

"I know, Ana. Believe me I know."

"You have had five years to come to me and tell me this, hell I was still in Seattle for weeks but you didn't come, you wiped your hands clean of me so easily. You obviously didn't care about me as much as you said, you made it clear that I wasn't worth it, you didn't fight for us, Christian. I had to learn how to survive with a broken heart because I had no choice. It's too little too late. I would have done anything for you, Christian yet you treated me worse than dirt on your shoes. It wasn't my fault, I didn't get pregnant on my own, it takes two people."

She finally turns to face me but her eyes that were so full of life are showing me nothing but sadness.

"Over the years there has been so much I wanted to say to you, to yell at you about and now that you're here, I have nothing. You gave up on us not me."

"There's something else and it's important. The reason why I had the vasectomy and didn't want to have children is because of a condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It's a hereditary heart condition which affects the muscular walls surrounding it. It makes it harder for the heart to pump the blood out of it and around the body. I'm fine and treat it with medication. I don't know which of my biological parents had it but I could potentially pass it on to any offspring I may have. I couldn't go another day without knowing if the child you had, that we made has it. I have to know if I have given her the condition or a healthy heart."

There, it's now out there and I feel terrible that I had to tell her something like this. Ana looks like her whole world has crashed and burned around her.

"WHAT?"

He stands from the couch and towers over me.

"How could you keep this to yourself for so long? You god damn selfish bastard." She yells.

I also stand up but before I realise what's happened she's slapped me across the face and continues hitting my chest while crying.

I take hold of her wrists and pull her into me, wrapping my arms around her letting her cry into my shirt. It feels good to have her in my arms again evens if it's just for a minute.

I talk softly in her ear.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Ana, I never wanted any of this to happen. When I truly accepted the fact that she's mine all my fears came to the surface. That day I couldn't handle the truth or the possibility that my baby would be born with something wrong because of me however there's only a 50% chance she may have it at all."

She pulls away from me wiping her face.

"Not good enough, you should have told me sooner. I'll get her tested, but I'm sure she'll be fine. She's never been sick besides the usual colds and sore throats."

All I can do is nod and agree with her.

"I hate you." She tells me.

"I know."

I reach over to wipe a tear from her cheek but she jumps away from me.

"Don't touch me." She sneers.

I don't know what comes over me but I kiss her. I grab her face and bring her lips to mine. At first she freezes from the shock then puts her hands on my chest to roughly push me away. I've dreamed about kissing her again for far too long. However brief it was she tastes and feels exactly like I remember. I need her to give us a second chance, not that I deserve it. I'll do anything she asks of me.

"What the hell are you doing? It's time for you to go."

"Can I meet her? You don't have to tell her who I am, I just want a chance to spend some time with her."

"I suppose so, I'll let you know."

I walk towards the door where she follows behind me. I stop before opening it up to hand her my card with my contact details.

I hesitate in the doorway. Why is it so hard to leave?

"What's her name?"

"You didn't have your people find that out for you?"

"No, I didn't. I want to do this the right way."

She scoffs at that.

"Charlotte. I named her Charlotte because when I was pregnant I was reading Charlotte's Web out loud to her and every time I would say that name she would move around in me. She picked her own name in a way I suppose." She smiles at the memory.

"Goodnight, Anastasia."

"Bye, Christian."

She closes the door behind me. I get back in the car and drive back to the hotel.

I suppose all things considering tonight wasn't a total disaster.

I will make everything right again. I will make us a family the way we should have always been if I wasn't so stupid. First though I need to meet Charlotte and see what the doctors say before we can move forward.

 **APOV**

Tonight wasn't the relaxing night I was planning to have.

From Charlie asking those questions today of all days and then Christian showing up and dropping his bombs on me I feel as if I'm losing my mind.

I spent a good five minutes after he left sitting beside the front door crying.

How dare he kiss me? I get angry again every time I think about it.

I pour a glass of white wine, take it outside and sit on the steps leading down to our backyard while I look up at the stars seeking answers.

What do I do?

I always said that if either one of them wanted to meet the other I wouldn't stand in the way of them having a relationship but how do I handle this? How is it going to work? We live here, he's in Seattle.

He tried to explain himself and wants a second chance but I've lost all trust. He should have told me these things a long time ago. If he still loved and missed me like he said why did he wait so long. How can I believe anything he says. Now I'm panicking with the thought that there's something wrong with my daughter's heart. He should have told me this straight away, what if something had happened to her.

He's a coward, that's what he is.

Please god give me the strength to get through these next couple of days.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

 **APOV**

I couldn't sleep last night. I kept tossing and turning. My thoughts going back and forth between Charlotte and Christian for hours.

My mind has been all over the place today at work that James sent me home early when he returned to the office just after lunch, he could tell something was up but is too polite to pry. He was out with Christian again this morning but thank goodness I was spared from seeing him. Last night was quite enough. Apparently Christian likes two of the properties that were shown to him and will decide by next week which one he will go ahead with purchasing. James was practically giddy with that news. At least he's pleasing someone.

I have a terrible headache, I'm tired and now I have to go pick up Charlotte from my mother's place. She's going to take one look at me and know something is wrong. The question is how much do I actually tell her.

"I'm here." I call out walking in through the front door as a delicious aroma hits my nose.

I find them in the kitchen eating cookies they obviously just finished baking judging by the amount of flour everywhere and drinking milk. Friday is their day together and Charlotte loves spending it with her Nana. When I enrolled Charlie in day care my mother thought her attending five days a week was a bit too much so offered to take her once a week for me and they also get to have quality time together as well.

I kiss my daughter hello who smiles her big grin around her cookie at me. I look very closely at her but she seems perfectly fine like she always does. I have to believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. She's a normal, happy and healthy little girl.

"Hi darling. How was work?" My mother asks me looking over at the time on the clock on the wall.

"Fine, I've got a bit of a headache so I left early."

Hopefully she buys it.

"Are you staying for dinner? Miss Charlotte here wanted tacos."

"Sure, why not. Tacos sound great."

Dinner was the usual noisy affair. Bob and Charlie were competing to see who could fit more into their mouth at once. Somehow my daughter won and had the mess all over her face to prove it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my mother throwing knowing looks my way throughout. I tried to ignore it but I just know she's going to start with the twenty questions sooner or later.

After dinner standing at the kitchen sink washing the last of the dishes, I can see Bob and Charlie watering the flowers in the back garden through the window.

"Okay, spill it. What's been eating you all night?"

I let out a sigh and try to organise my thoughts.

I finish rinsing the last dish, place it on the rack to dry and pick up a tea towel to dry my hands before I turn to face my mother.

 _Here we go._

"So…..last night after you left with Charlie I had an unexpected visitor."

Very unexpected.

"Who?" She asks. She's aware that I don't have very many friends here.

I turn back towards the window to check that Charlotte is still outside and can't hear us.

When I face my mother again I raise my eyebrow with my face pretty much saying who do you think and her eyes widen.

"Well…..umm."

"No." She gasps.

"Yes. Christian showed up." I confirm.

"That son of a bitch, why, what did he want?" She slams her palm down on the sink. Carla is definitely not his fan.

"To apologise for what he did, the way he treated me and to meet his daughter apparently."

"Oh, so now she's his daughter, where the hell has he been, why I have a good mind to go to him right now and give him a piece of my mind. Who the hell does he think he is showing up after all this time? You're both better off without him."

She has raised her voice and I point outside telling her to keep it down.

"Look mum, I know how you feel about him and no matter how angry I am at him too, the fact of the matter is that he is her father, that's not going to change and I'm not going to stop them having a relationship. It wouldn't be fair to Charlotte. Please stay out of it. If it works out great, if not at least she can't turn around when she's older and blame me for standing in the way of her not knowing her father."

My mother is standing there looking at me with a look of bewilderment.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Anastasia. Just don't let him walk all over you and try to make all the rules here. Remember you're the one who's had to raise her on your own for so long."

"I am perfectly aware of that, you don't need to remind me."

"Okay, so you're doing this for your daughter. What about you?"

"What about me?" I frown.

My mother cups my face as she stares into my eyes.

"He wants to meet Charlotte, okay but where do you fit in?"

I shift my eyes down towards the tiled kitchen floor and shrug at her question.

"Nowhere." I reply.

"Sweetheart, you can't fool me, no matter how much you deny it I know you still have feelings for him. You think I don't know that's why you haven't even given another man a real chance with you. Don't let him break you again, Ana, once was more than enough. He doesn't deserve any chances after abandoning you."

I step away from her.

"You're wrong, about everything. We should get going. I'll call you on Sunday."

My mother always knows how to push my buttons and get me pissed off. I don't need to constantly be reminded that I'm doing this on my own. I'm living it every single day.

Charlotte was yawning in the car on the way home so when we get back I put her straight in the bath, then tuck her in bed and read her a story. She's out in the first five minutes. She looks so peaceful. I sit there a while longer running my hand through her hair. Her little world is about to be shaken up. I pray and hope this doesn't end badly and hurt her.

I tiptoe out of her room and make my way to my own bedroom. I sit on the bed feeling bone tired. I had forgotten how tiring dealing with a certain grey eyed billionaire can be.

I'm holding Christian's business card in one hand and my phone in the other.

This is the right thing to do, even if he doesn't deserve it. I quickly dial his number before I change my mind and wait for him to answer.

"Grey."

"Um…Hi, it's me."

"Ana? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, it's fine. I was wondering if tomorrow morning would suit you to come over to meet Charlotte. Say around ten o'clock."

"Absolutely, I'll be there. Thank you, Anastasia."

"See you then."

I hang up and rub my temples. I just have to get through tomorrow. One day at a time.

It's going to be a long weekend. I'm going to get a stomach ulcer before all this is over.

After another restless night spent tossing and turning I get up and dress in a simple green dress.

I need to tell Charlie about Christian coming over while we have breakfast to prepare her.

She is devouring her cereal while I finish my tea. Christian will be here in an hour so it's now or never.

"Charlotte."

She raises her head to look at me.

"We're going to see an old friend of mine today, actually he's coming over here to our house. His name is Christian and he lives in Seattle where mummy used to live a long time ago before you were … He wants to visit because I haven't seen him in a long time and he wanted to come over and meet you too. What do you say?"

"Okay. Can I go play now, I'm finished?"

Just like that, it's so simple for her.

"Sure." She runs off leaving me to collect her bowel and cup.

Right on ten there's a knock at the door and the butterflies in my stomach increase tenfold.

I open up and there he is, in a blue polo shirt and dark jeans. It should be illegal to look this good so early in the morning.

"Hi." I say.

"Morning, these are for you. Thanks for doing this, Ana."

He hands me a bunch of flowers.

Yellow roses to be exact.

"Oh, thank you."

While I was pregnant I spent a lot of time in the garden with my mother and Bob and learnt the meaning of some of their flowers. Yellow roses can be a symbol of new beginnings. He is also holding a single daisy, meaning hope, with a yellow ribbon tied around the stem.

We both hear tiny steps running down the hall and turn to see our daughter come running into the room.

Charlotte sees him and suddenly stops, before running up behind me to hide and peeking around my legs.

I move her around to come stand before me with my hand on her shoulder.

"Charlotte, this is my friend Christian that I told you about."

Christian kneels down on one knee before her.

"Hello, Charlotte. I'm so happy to meet."

He gives her the daisy and shakes her hand making my daughter giggle.

 _Smooth, Grey._

I can see his eyes scanning her face all over taking her in.

"Thank you. If you're mummy's friend you can call me Charlie."

"Charlie?" he asks looking my way.

"Her nickname. When she was younger she had trouble pronouncing her name and it sounded like Charlie, it kind of stuck." I explain.

"Okay then. Charlie it is, I like it."

I'm seeing them together for the first time, interacting with each other. I don't know what I was expecting but somehow seeing him here with her makes me even more resentful that he, for lack of a better word, abandoned us. _Control your emotions Ana_. _Deal with it when Charlie's not around_.

"Come in, would you like some coffee?" I need to play the welcoming host.

"No, I'm good, thanks."

He stands back up and steps inside as I close the door behind him.

It goes quiet. Now what?

Charlie breaks the silence.

"Do you want to come see my cubby house that my grandpa Ray built me?" She asks him.

"I sure do, lead the way."

She loves that thing and I'm not surprised she asked him to see it. She grabs his hand and pulls Christian through the house and out the back door. She seems comfortable with him, so that's a good sign isn't it? I was afraid he would intimidate her like he tends to do with others.

I put the roses in a vase before stepping out onto the porch to watch them. I think it's best if I stay back and observe them for the time being. After all, Christian needs to build a relationship with his daughter, not me.

 _But he said he wants you back too. Yeah well he can go sit on a cactus for all I care._

Charlotte is showing him all the features of her house and then pulls out her hula hoop. She demonstrates then passes it over to Christian.

Now this should be fun to watch. Christian Grey trying to hula hoop.

He places it around his waist and spins but it just falls straight down, his hips doing nothing at all. I hear Charlotte laugh and say, "That's not how you do it silly."

I never thought this is a sight I would see, Christian Grey playing with a child, his child to be exact. I'm glad he didn't come over here with his CEO persona on show.

Oh fuck. I just realised if the media gets wind of why he's here or who Charlotte and I are, we're going to be hounded. Shit, I'll need to talk to him about trying to keep us out of the spotlight.

He takes a break from playing after twenty minutes and comes to join me on the porch.

"She's amazing, Ana. Beautiful and so smart."

"I know." I've been here.

"You've done an incredible job. I'm sorry…"

I stop him.

"Save it. I don't want your apologies, Christian. I called around this morning and made an appointment for her to see a cardiologist in two weeks time. That's the earliest appointment I could get."

"Okay, great. The sooner the better."

I don't know what else to say to him so the silence between us grows.

"I'm flying back to Seattle tonight but would it be okay if I call Charlie during the week so I can get to know her better?"

"That will be fine."

I know he has to return to Seattle but how long before he comes back again? If he returns that is, he might go home and realise he prefers the bachelor life.

"I would like to spend some more time with the both of you before I have to head back. Can I take you out for lunch?"

I really want to say no. He has me all confused.

Charlotte sees us looking at her and waves to us with a grin on her face.

This is for her.

I place a fake smile on my face and tell him we'd love to.

 **CPOV**

Taylor was outside waiting for me so I suggested we take the one car. Ana tried to argue about it not having a booster seat but that didn't last long once I opened the back door and she saw one already placed inside.

Taylor and Anastasia greet each other rather uncomfortably.

Taylor glances down at Charlotte who is holding Ana's hand then back into my eyes. I'm sure he has quite a lot he wants to say to me but values his job too much.

Ana suggested a restaurant that serves great pasta that Charlotte enjoys so that's where we headed for lunch.

Charlotte is a chatter box and I can't get enough of listening to her speak.

Sitting at this table with them both, this is what it should have been like all along. A happy family enjoying a meal together. God I was so stupid. Why didn't I hear her out? I will get us there, no matter how long it takes or how hard I need to fight, I'm not giving up.

Every time Charlotte is not paying attention Ana's shutters come down and becomes cool and distant. I wasn't all that surprised when Ana introduced me as a friend. No matter how we go about it, it will be a shock to her when she finds out the truth. It's not as simple as saying _Hi, I'm your father, sorry for not being around_.

I know I was a grade A asshole, a major jerk, call me any name under the sun and I'll agree with you.

I was so nervous when I knocked on their door this morning. What if she didn't like me or was scared of me? I bought the flowers hoping to break the ice a little. Essentially I'm a stranger but I am loving every moment I'm spending with her, with both of them. All it took was one second to fall in love with her. It will be difficult leaving them but this is just the beginning for the three of us. I need to stay optimistic.

Leaving the restaurant following lunch I was preparing myself to drop them off home and head back to the hotel when Charlotte asked to go play at the park across the road.

Ana hesitated at first but agreed.

"Can you push me on the swing, Mr Christian?"

"Sure I can, sweetheart."

Charlotte pulls me by the hand once more towards the swings. Her hand is so tiny in mine. I know I'll do anything in my power to protect her and her mother. It's not too late.

She sits down and waits for me to strap her in. Once I've done so I walk around to stand behind her and gently push. I have no idea how hard I'm supposed to push her or if she's afraid of heights.

A real father would know these things.

Ana has taken a seat on one of the park benches nearby watching us, giving us this time together.

I continue to push the swing over and over again but not really concentrating as my gaze is on Ana. She doesn't look happy but is putting on a brave face. I know her better than she knows herself. All this is a front. A show for our daughter. I need to spend time alone with her to talk but it's too soon, I know that. If I push she'll get mad. I just need to have patience and faith.

I'm too much in my head that I'm not paying attention to what I'm really doing until I hear Charlotte say something that stops my heart.

"Higher, daddy."

I immediately stop the swing and kneel in front of her.

"What did you just say?" I whisper in wonder.

Just the sound of her calling me that…..I didn't think I would hear those words so soon. They're magical.

"Higher, daddy." She looks uncertain and bites her lower lip, just like her mother.

"Why did you call me that?"

"Umm...because you're my daddy." She repeats.

"How do you know that, Charlotte?"

"I have seen old photos of mummy's and you are in them and we have the same eyes. And you have a dimple right here," she points to my left cheek, "just like me and last night I made a wish that you would come and you did."

Shit. That's right. I overheard their conversation where she was asking Ana about her father.

I don't know if I should do this or wait for Ana but it feels natural to admit it to her. She figured it out on her own anyway.

"Yes, Charlie, you're right I am your dad. I'm sorry I wasn't here before." I kiss her on her soft cheek. I want to take her in my arms and hug her but I'm not sure if she would be comfortable with that yet.

There we are, her on the swing, me kneeling in front of it, both smiling crazily at each other.

Ana walks over to us upon seeing that I've stopped pushing the swing.

"What's wrong?" She asks worriedly.

"Nothing, everything is perfect." I say not taking my eyes off my daughter.

Charlotte looks up at her mother happily.

"He's my daddy. I knew he would come." She states to her and I hear Ana gasp.

So much for telling her once I got to know her. She's one smart little girl.

Ana quickly turns accusing eyes my way so I stand up.

"I promise I didn't say anything to her, she just said it. I wasn't going to lie to her."

Before Ana can respond a little boy comes running up to us jumping on to the vacant swing next to us.

"Hi, Charlie."

"Hi, Stevie."

Following behind him is a man, who is obviously his father going off their resemblance.

"Ana, Charlie, good to see you guys."

Ana's eyes widen as he greets her with a kiss to the cheek. He then turns and hi-fives Charlotte.

Who the hell is this fucker and why is he so familiar with my girls?

He's roughly the same height as me with black wavy hair and blue eyes. It's obvious he works out and looks after himself based on the size of his chest and arms.

"Day out at the park?" He asks.

"Umm… yes." Ana stammers.

"Henry this is Christian, an old friend from Seattle." She introduces us nervously.

We briefly shake hands. He gives me a curious look as if I'm familiar to him, trying to place where he knows me from. Yeah, good luck with that dickhead.

I turn back to Charlotte but she has run off with Stevie where they are taking turns going up and down the slide. I take a couple of steps away from them and sit down on the bench Ana was using earlier whilst I keep an eye on my daughter and at the same time side eyeing her mother as she quietly chats to the fucker. I don't like how close he's standing to her.

Ten minutes later Charlotte comes back complaining to Ana that she's tired and rubbing her eyes.

Ana says goodbye to Henry and his kid then we head back to where Taylor is waiting with the SUV.

"Daddy can you carry me?"

"Absolutely. Come here."

Ana stops and gawks in surprise.

I lean down, grab her under her arms and hoist her up, her little arms automatically wrapping around my neck, her legs going around my waist. I can't explain the feeling, what it means to be holding her close to me, she's so trusting the way she has just accepted me so easily. Her mother on the other hand is a different story.

She is fast asleep within two minutes of placing her in the car. The drive to their house is filled with silence. Ana won't even look at me. I wish I knew what she was thinking and her thoughts of how today went.

I assist Ana by carrying Charlotte inside to lay her in her bed. She briefly wakes and looks up at me.

"Bye, Charlie. I need to go home now but I promise I'll be back to see you again very soon okay."

It hurts saying that.

I push her hair back off her face then place a kiss on her temple before walking out of her room. Ana is waiting for me in the lounge room with an envelope in her hands.

"I put this together for you this morning. It's just some baby photos I thought you might like to see."

"Thank you," I say as I reach over to take it off her.

We're both standing there awkwardly.

"I'm heading home today. I'll call you in a couple of days and I would like to come back as soon as I can manage it."

"You want to come back?"

I don't know why she sounds so surprised. I told her what I want.

"Of course I do, Ana. I told you I want to make this work."

I edge closer to where she's standing and run my finger along her cheek, however she takes a step back.

"No, I can't. You need to build your relationship with your daughter."

"What about our relationship, Anastasia? I know you still feel something for me. I can see it in your eyes."

"We have no relationship, Christian. Look, I'm not going to keep your daughter from you but I swear to god if you hurt her, get her hopes up and then let her down I will come to that fucking penthouse of yours and kill you myself. Is that clear? Don't let her think she can depend on you if you don't plan on being here."

"Very well."

I ask the question that has been burning a hole in my mind for the past hour.

"Who the hell is Henry?"

"Just a friend and none of your business."

"It is my business if he hangs around my daughter."

Her eyes are shooting rays of anger when she lifts her hand to point her finger at me.

"Don't you fucking dare, you have no right to tell me what to do. You want to know who Henry is, fine, but you asked for this, he's a single father whose son goes to the same kindergarten as Charlotte, I met him 2 years ago and he's my fuck buddy. Happy now, Grey?" She hisses.

No I'm not happy, I'm fucking livid and seeing red. That fucker has had what's mine.

"So what, does that mean you're going to continue fucking him even though I told you I want us to try again?"

"I never agreed to that, Christian and I certainly won't be fucking you."

I'm absolutely certain my face looks thunderous before I storm out the front door and walk away before I say or doing something I know I'll regret.

Just fucking great.

So much for a leaving on a good note.

 **A/N: To answer a question I had in reviews. No Christian is not going to die.**

 **I know you're all mad at him for waiting 2 years before going to see them but there is a good reason. Everything will be revealed in time. Trust me I do have a plan.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

 **CPOV**

It takes me hours to cool down. I'm half way back to Seattle on the jet before I feel my anger subside but it's still lingering below the surface and it won't take much to set me off again.

Fuck!

Fucking Henry. What a shitty name.

Dick!

I just assumed she wouldn't be seeing anyone. I don't know why, maybe I thought that her whole life would revolve around looking after our daughter. I know how that sounds and makes me an even worse asshole than I already am. Did I honestly think she wouldn't have any sort of social life, that she sat around at home every night?

 _What Grey, were you expecting her to be pining for you?_

I need to order a background check on the fucker and make a note to remind myself to email Welch when we land. No matter what she says I have every right to know everything about him. She was correct, I don't have any right to tell her what to do but it bothers me, the fact that he's there, closer to them than I am.

I can't believe she's fucking some guy. It never crossed my mind that she might even be in a relationship, Ana was never the type to use someone just for sex, has she really changed that much over the years. Do I know anything about her anymore?

He looks like a limp dick anyway, wouldn't know how to use it. I bet he has never made her scream and come as loud and hard as I have.

Is she really sleeping with him or did she lie to me just to piss me off? God damn it. I'm going to drive myself crazy over it.

I've been constantly looking at the photos Ana gave me. There were about ten of them in the envelope of Charlotte as a baby spanning up until recently. She is smiling in every single one of them. I grin just seeing her happy. She was a beautiful baby. I'm even more disgusted and angry at myself for not being there. My favourite one is of the two of them in the hospital. Ana looks so young and beautiful holding a new born Charlie in her arms, looking down at her, she looks exhausted and happy at the same time, I can feel the love pouring out of her as she gazes at our daughter. I've missed out on so much, I have no idea if she had an easy birth or any complications. I should have been there to hold her hand.

Tears spring to my eyes and my chest aches and feels heavy from the guilt. I put all the photos back in their envelope and inside my jacket pocket.

How do I go home alone to an empty apartment after spending the day with them? I wish I went to them sooner, if only I could have. Perhaps she would have forgiven me easier if I had.

I couldn't have wished for today to go better than it did with Charlotte. I bonded with her so quickly. The only way I can describe her is amazing in every single way.

Landing back in rainy Seattle my mood plummets and I need to force myself to rise out of my seat to disembark. Taylor is standing in the middle of the aisle, his hands behind his back blocking my way out. I should have been expecting this.

"Spit it out, Taylor. Whatever you need to say, just say it."

"Sir, I know you're my boss and I would never disrespect you but for this one moment let's pretend you're not. I could never understand what went wrong and why Miss Steele left so suddenly. I came back from my weekend off to find her gone and nobody was allowed to say her name. It's all become very clear now. That little girl is obviously yours and the reason we went to Savannah in the first place and if I'm not wrong the reason Miss Steele disappeared. I don't know what you did but I can only guess you were stupid and selfish. I used to think I was proud to work for a man such as you but I can no longer say that. You have kept things from me and everyone else. You should have told me, as your CPO and head of security you didn't think I had to know you had a child out there. What if someone had found out and tried to use her against you? For five years you have kept this secret. You should have told me. I have kept a secret for you for two years now because you asked me to, against my better judgment. If things had turned out differently I would have had no clue of her existence. I cannot do my job effectively without all the facts. That is all. _Sir_."

I don't know if he's more pissed at the fact that I didn't trust him enough to tell him about Ana and the baby or that I wasn't in their lives. Being a father himself Taylor's life is all about his own daughter. What's one more person hating me?

"You've said your piece and you're right about everything. However it's more complicated than that. I promise you full disclosure going forward and, Taylor I do appreciate you not saying anything to anyone. "

He only nods his head back at me before turning to exit the plane.

In my bed that night I fall asleep staring at a photo of the two of them. The two and only most important people in my family right at this moment. I have a lot to make amends for. If Ana never forgives me I can't really blame her can I.

I really showed her what kind of a monster I am.

I spend Monday catching up on work and call my mother around lunch time. I asked to come over tonight and for her to get the whole family to be there, that I needed to talk to them all. It's safe to say she was at first shocked that I called and wanted to visit and then worried that something was wrong. It's time I told them about Charlotte. She's going to be a permanent part of my life and hopefully her mother as well.

My hands are sweating as I walk into my parent's house that evening.

I need to be prepared for whatever they throw my way.

I remember my mother was so happy when I announced that Ana and I were getting married, but then afterwards when I refused to explain anything about our break up to her I could see the disappointment, sadness and confusion in her eyes every time she looked my way. Nobody could understand. I know it took a lot for her to not hound and question me and over time I just stayed away for longer and longer periods of time.

To be perfectly honest I'm surprised my brother has kept his mouth shut all this time. I know he's met my daughter and never mentioned a word to me all this time. He could have thrown me under the bus at any time. Our relationship has been very strained since I kicked Ana out. He must have made Anastasia certain promises to keep quiet.

I stayed away as much as possible and spent more and more time over at the London office just to avoid my family. I just couldn't be around them. I know that makes me a shitty son and brother but I am who I am and it was easier to stay away.

Now things need to be different. I would hate to make my family pick sides however I am positive they will all be on Ana's side once they hear what I have to say, as they should be.

Appearing in the doorway of the family room I notice everyone else has already arrived before me. They're all watching Ava dance around the room. I wonder if Charlie does that, if she likes dancing and singing or if she has taken after her mother and has a love of books. I wish I knew what she was like at that age.

I clear my throat to gain their attention before saying hello to them and taking a seat on the lounge on the opposite side of the room.

Before I begin I ask Kate and my mother if Gretchen her housekeeper can keep an eye on Ava for a few minutes. I don't think she should be in the room for this confession. This gives me a little bit more time to prepare myself while we wait for Gretchen to come in for my niece. She doesn't have much trouble getting Ava to go with her on the promise of helping bake a cake.

The room is silent, everyone expectantly waiting on me. I rub my hands over my face then over my thighs. There is no easy way to say it. I just need to do it as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band aid.

"There's something important I need to tell you all. The reason Anastasia and I broke up and she left. The morning of that day she told me that she was pregnant and I reacted very badly to the news. Years ago I had a vasectomy because I didn't want to have children on account of my heart condition. I couldn't risk passing it on. I didn't believe her, that it was mine and thought she cheated on me. At the time I never knew that the vasectomy had the chance of reversing itself. I kicked her out and haven't seen or spoken to her for the last five years, until this past weekend. I have a daughter. She's 4 years old and gorgeous. Her name is Charlotte. I'm sorry for not telling you any of this earlier. I was too angry at first and afterwards when I realised my mistake I was too ashamed."

I heard Elliot and Kate both scoff when I said I reacted badly and the gasps from my parents and sister when I finished speaking.

My mother rises from her spot and comes to stand in front of me. I also stand up before her.

She raises her hand and slaps me across the left cheek then begins to yell.

 _Fuck, that stings._

"How could you? How could you be so selfish and stupid? That girl loved you. I thought you felt the same way. Didn't you even care enough to have a DNA test to make sure one way or another first. Ana of all people, Christian? You accused her of being unfaithful to you. I thought I knew you better. No wonder you never told us the real reason you two broke up and she just disappeared. And what do you mean you had a vasectomy?"

She starts to pace back and forth across the room.

"That girl was the best thing that ever happened to you and you threw her away. Oh my God, I cannot believe this. When did you realise you were wrong after all?"

"Two years ago. When I went for a medical check-up and the doctor asked for a sperm sample." I admit quietly not making eye contact.

My mother looks at me stunned.

"Two years, and it's taken you this long to go to her and tell us. Why, Christian? Why on this earth have you waited so long?"

"It's complicated, mother."

"Then uncomplicate it." She screams. "I have another granddaughter. What does she look like? I want to meet her. Where has she been?"

"Ana has been living in Georgia with her mother. Kate and Elliot knew. She went to them when I kicked her out and have visited her."

She turns to them. The anger and disbelief obvious on her face.

"How dare you all keep this from me. Elliot?"

"Ana asked us to not say anything. She said it was up to Christina to do so and besides he never believed he was the father so what good would it have done anyway except to cause problems. We thought it best to keep our promise to her and maintain our relationship with her in the hopes of one day convincing her to bring Charlotte here. Do you think we liked being in the middle of this situation."

My mother then turns to Kate.

"Kate, you lied to me. Every time I asked you about Ana you specifically told me she wanted nothing to do with our family and I couldn't understand why. I treated and loved her like my own daughter. I am so hurt by this. This is also why she didn't come to your wedding isn't it?"

Kate however doesn't get the chance to reply as my mother continues her lecture.

"I thought I raised you all to always do the right thing, to know right from wrong, to be honest and respectful, to always put family first, but you are all selfish, because those two are family. Anastasia and Charlotte are family but obviously I failed somewhere along the line. I have never been so disappointed."

She points her finger at me, eyes glaring and mouth a thin line.

"You are going to give me her phone number so I can speak to Ana and get me in the same room as my granddaughter as soon as possible. It seems we have all let her down."

My mother then walks away taking Mia with her who sat there observing us. Mia was always closer to Ana than Kate and couldn't wait to be her sister. She was devastated when I advised the family that the wedding was off. She often called me wanting to know what happened and where Ana was until I exploded at her and basically told her to stay out of my life, which is what she essentially did. Another deed of my fuck ups to add to the list.

My father stands up from his armchair looking around the room at the three of us.

"All I can say is that I agree with your mother and I too am very disappointed in my children. Nothing can ever make up for what you did and the time you have stolen from us with our granddaughter. You do know that Ana could have come after you for a heck of a lot of child support. The fact that she didn't says a lot about her character. Just pray that your mother decides to forgive you."

He then follows my mother out of the room leaving me alone with my brother and Kate. I expect them to start in on me next but I'm surprised by Elliot's question.

"You really went down there?"

"I did." I nod in affirmation.

"I hope she makes your life hell. You deserve nothing less."

Safe to say everybody hates me.

I leave my parent's house without saying bye to anyone and take my sorry ass back to Escala where I have a lonely dinner waiting for me. I need to talk to Ana about setting up a day for my parents to meet Charlotte when she's ready. My mother said as soon as possible but I'm going to leave that up to Ana.

I call to speak to Charlie before it gets too late over there seeing as they are three hours ahead of me. I wait for the call to connect expecting to hear Ana's voice but it's Charlie that answers.

"Hi, daddy." She sounds all excited.

"Hey baby girl, how was your day today?"

I sit back and listen to her tell me all about what she has been up to since I left. I asked Gail to frame one of her photos that Ana gave to me which is now proudly sitting in front of me on my desk. I stare at it as I have her sweet angelic voice in my ear.

I make a silent vow to her that I will get her and her mother back home, here where they belong, maybe in a great big house with lots of room to run around and play. One day.

 **APOV**

I was so mad when Christian left last weekend. How dare he dictate anything to me, as if I am going to listen to anything he says. I can't believe he actually thinks I'm going to give him another chance to hurt me again. No, it's best for everyone to not go down that path. Our main priority needs to be Charlotte only. I know him, how determined he is when he wants something but this is one time the great Christian Grey will not win.

This whole past week since Christian walked back into my life has had me feeling off balance. It was the same the first time we met but that was in a good way, this time I'm filled with worry and anxiety and fear. Fear of this new future I'm now facing. I feel like I can only relax again knowing he's back on his side of the country.

After he stormed out of here I called my mother to vent. I called him every name under the sun I could think of and she just agreed with me. All those awful thoughts and memories I managed to push away about him over the years chose that moment to resurface and I ended up crying to my mother for over half an hour. Haven't I been tortured enough because of him. Why can't he pretend that I don't exist again? He did a fine job of it for so long. Eventually when I had calmed down I told my mother how their first meeting went and that Charlotte knows who he is.

All she had to say to me was, "Well, Anastasia it seems you're going to have him around in one way or another for the next 14 years at least. I suggest you find a way to deal with him that doesn't lead to you turning into a wreck every single time."

I just wanted her to understand and listen, not give me a lecture.

Charlotte has been bugging me, questioning when she's going to be able to see him again but I can't answer that for her. I have come to realise how much she has actually missed and wanted having a father around. I tried my best to be both for her but it wasn't enough. Just like every other little girl out there she wanted someone to look up to, to be her protector and prince charming.

 _Who's going to be your prince charming Ana? You thought you found him then look what happened._

I've given up on the so called fairy tale.

Christian has called to speak to his daughter every night before bed time and she looks forward to those calls so much, constantly making plans of what they will do together when he's here. She is so excited all I can do is nod and smile when she hangs up with her father and then proceeds to tell me about their conversation. What will happen the first time something comes up with work and he breaks a promise? I'll be left here to pick up the pieces that's what because with Christian Grey, work always came first in the past.

Kate got in touch with me on Tuesday. Over the years we have spoken less and less. I know she's still hurt that I refused to attend her wedding but she's still my best friend.

 _"_ _Hi, Kate."_

 _"_ _Hey, Steele. How are you and the munchkin?"_

 _"_ _We're fine. How are you guys?"_

 _"_ _Been better, so the asshole finally came clean with his family."_

 _No need to ask who she's talking about. I assumed he would._

 _"_ _He did?"_

 _"_ _Yeah he told them what he did to you and about Charlotte then Grace read him the riot act. Bastard also had the nerve to make Elliot and I look like the bad guys by knowing about the baby and keeping it from the family."_

 _"_ _Oh."_

 _That's not really their fault though. I take all responsibility for that._

 _"_ _Yeah, so expect a call from Grace. She is like a Nanna on a mission to meet Charlotte."_

Is Grace only willing to call me now because I have her grandchild? Didn't she care about me before to try contact me when the wedding was cancelled. I needed all the support I could get back then and felt abandoned. Yes I left because I was heartbroken, Christian ruined us and showed me the worst side of him. Perhaps back then they believed his story that I cheated on him which is why they didn't bother with me.

I avoided speaking with Christian the first couple of times he called due to how he left from here but that was just childish. I was better and more mature than that. When we did speak we both tried to keep it civil and leave emotions out of it.

 _"_ _Christian."_

 _"_ _Anastasia."_

 _"_ _I wanted to ask you if you've thought about what will happen if people see us together or the tabloids get wind of you constantly flying out here and finding out about Charlotte. What's going to happen? I don't want a circus around us."_

 _"_ _I understand how you're feeling. If or until that happens, you have nothing to worry about, otherwise I will have my PR team release a statement confirming she's my daughter and has been living away from Seattle with her mother. I think that would be the best way to go. But if that does occur then you will need security around. I don't want to take any unnecessary chances."_

 _I groan fearing the worst. I hated having security follow me around while we were together. Let's just hope that doesn't happen for a long time. We should be pretty safe here but what if he wants her to go visit him in Seattle. I dread the answer but ask it anyway._

 _"_ _Okay, we should be fine here, nobody knows who I am although what about if you want her to come visit you in Seattle, it will be hard to hide unless you keep her hidden away in your apartment the entire time."_

 _"_ _No, I'll keep coming to you where she's comfortable so don't worry about it. Also I told my family the truth about what happened between us and my parents want to meet her but I'm not going to rush you. Whenever you're ready let me know and I'll organise everything."_

 _"_ _I have to go. Here, Charlie's been waiting to speak with you."_

That was three days ago and I can't help wondering about what I will say to his parents when I do see them. Was I wrong to not go to them? Did I run away because it was easier? No Ana, stop it you did what you thought was best at the time. I had to get away from there. I can't help but wonder now though if things would have worked out differently if I stayed but I couldn't. The way he treated me was unforgivable, even if I had stayed in Seattle he made certain that I could never look at him with affection again.

I'm currently getting ready to go out for dinner with Henry. My mother and Bob are here to keep an eye on Charlotte for me for a couple of hours who is currently in the middle of her nightly talk with her father.

I step out of my bedroom to collect and put on my watch which I left in the kitchen earlier when I hear my daughter give away my plans for the evening.

"Grandma is here and we're going to watch a movie together because mummy is going out for dinner, she looks so pretty."

I stop and stare at my daughter then my mother with wide eyes. Shit, I didn't want him knowing that because frankly it's none of his business but at the same time I could care less. My mother just smiles and shrugs her shoulders at me. I have no idea what his reaction to that piece of news was because Charlotte just continued talking about what movie she plans on watching.

There's not much to say about my relationship with Henry. My mother pushed me to go out on a date with him after I told her about the first time he asked me out. I honestly couldn't understand why he wanted to bother with me, a single mother with a lot of baggage. I gave in and we tried dating for a few months but neither one of us was truly ready or felt it was working the way it should be. His wife died due to complications from childbirth and he's also had a hard time raising his son on his own so I can empathise with him. The spark was missing between us but our arrangement works, friends with benefits when we need each other and an ear to listen when we need to vent or simply have an adult conversation. He's free to do as he pleases as am I and there is no jealousy or arguments to deal with.

I kiss Charlotte goodnight and I'm out the door. I'm meeting Henry at the restaurant. It's always easier for us to meet somewhere. That way I can leave whenever I like and not have to rely on him to bring me back home.

It's nice to dress up once in a while outside of my work attire and daggy mummy clothes. Tonight I've chosen a simple black lacy dress which shows off my legs.

I park my car in the restaurant's car park behind the building and enter inside. Henry arrived before me and is already seated at the table waiting for me. I see him before he sees me. He's dressed in black dress pants and a dark gray buttoned shirt. The aroma of the food makes my mouth water and stomach growl. We decided to have dinner at a popular seafood restaurant in the city and the place is almost full.

"Hi, have you been waiting long?"

He smiles and stands to greet me with a kiss to the cheek. He really is a handsome man and would make any number of female hearts flutter. I hope he finds someone who he can be happy with and appreciates him eventually. He's a genuinely nice guy.

"Not at all. You look amazing."

"Thank you."

He had already ordered my favourite white wine for us. I take my seat opposite him and lift my glass to take a sip of the cold crisp drink. The waiter appears to take our order then leaves us.

After the usual niceties and comfortable conversation about work and the kids he folds his hands on top of the table and brings up an unexpected topic.

"So….Christian Grey?"

I look at him trying to seem unaffected.

"What about him?"

I take another larger sip of my wine.

"I knew he looked familiar at the park but couldn't quite place him. He's Charlotte's father isn't he?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I say.

"Okay, but you didn't deny it."

I let out a deep sigh. What's the point of being secretive about it anymore?

"Yes, he is. It's a long and messy story. We were engaged once but it didn't work out. The only thing that matters to me is Charlotte and ensuring she is happy and has a relationship with her father."

"He still loves you, you know. Hey, I don't blame the guy, I saw the way he was looking at you, and me as if he wanted to rip my head off." He starts laughing.

"Probably." I giggle back. Christian always was the jealous type even if it wasn't warranted.

"Do I need to pick up my game here?" He jokes.

"There is no competition here, Henry. Please…I don't want to spend the evening talking about him. There's nothing to tell."

Our waiter finds that moment to return with our meals and all thoughts about Christian are forgotten.

At the end of the evening Henry walks me to my car. He traps my body between himself and the door, his hands on either side of me on the car roof as he leans towards me for a kiss. It's gentle and sweet but no passion or fireworks. I felt more in that brief and unexpected kiss Christian laid on me when he was here. God, I'm such a bitch thinking that with Henry stuck to my face.

"So, are you following me back to my place?" He asks softly.

Am I? I usually don't hesitate in answering him, why am I even overthinking this?

"Yes."

"I'll see you there."

He opens up my door allowing me to get into the driver's seat then shuts it.

An hour and a half later I'm driving back home having left Henry asleep. It starts to rain suiting my mood.

I was in that bed with one man but another kept finding his way into my brain. I'm so mad with myself. Fuck you Christian Grey. I will not allow you to ruin me. I've worked too hard to become this strong.

I enter my quiet house, say goodnight to my mother and Bob who head off, check on my sleeping daughter and finally collapse into my bed after a hot shower.

That night I lay in bed listening to the rain falling outside while tears fell from my eyes.

It's sad how someone can go from being the reason you wake up smiling to the reason you cry yourself to sleep.

You're so stupid Ana. Haven't you cried enough?

My mother is right. I can't lie to myself. As much as I despise him he still affects me. I just need to ensure he never realises that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi all, sorry for the delay. I wanted to get this chapter out to you a couple of days ago however real life didn't give me the chance to do so. Thank you for reading and for all your reviews.**

 **Chapter 5**

 **APOV**

I'm woken up by a constant, annoying banging sound. I open one eye to look at the time on my alarm clock. It's only 7:00am. I'm so tired and haven't had anywhere near enough sleep. I hear the banging again and it sinks in that someone is knocking on my front door. Who the hell is here so early on a Sunday morning? I better get up before they wake up Charlotte as well. It better be important or whoever it is will get a piece of my mind for disturbing me.

I throw the covers off me and grab my fluffy blue robe off the hook on the back of my bedroom door. I put it on as I walk towards the door and yank it open forcefully.

"What…." The rest of the words die on my lips.

Not in a million years did I expect the person standing on the other side of my front door. In the five years since I last saw them they have changed and grown so much I almost didn't recognise her at first. She's dressed in black tights with a red, short sleeved, knitted jumper dress over it. Her once short black hair is now long and blonde. She also has a small black suitcase by her feet.

"Mia?" I gasp in disbelief.

"Hi, Ana." She says nervously as she folds her hands together in front of her and shrugs. "I suppose you're surprised to see me. Can I come in?"

"Umm… yes, sure, of course." Her presence has certainly thrown me for a loop. I'm not prepared for this however I can't just send her away.

I move back to allow her room to come inside then shut the door.

Turning to face her I find myself suddenly engulfed in her arms in a tight hug. I return it and hold onto her. It's a comforting hug. We both start crying letting out years of hurt and anger and sadness.

"I've missed you." She tells me when she finally pulls away, wiping away at her face.

"I've missed you too, Mia. I really have. Follow me."

We release each other and move into the kitchen where I make us both cups of tea and coffee before joining her at the table. My hands are wrapped around my hot mug. What do I say? How do I begin this conversation? I have no clue what she has been doing all this time. My heart is beating incredibly fast inside my chest and it's only Mia, imagine when I'm faced with Grace and Carrick. I don't want things to be awkward between us but the truth is I'm nervous. Does she hate me? I can't blame her if she does.

"What are you doing here, how did you get here and more importantly does anybody know you're here?"

She looks down into her cup of coffee as if the answer is swirling around in there.

"After Christian admitted to us what happened between the two of you I was very angry at him. I never thought I could possibly hate my brother but I came very close to feeling that way. I couldn't believe he was the same person who would do anything for me and made sure I was always looked after and safe. Yesterday, I couldn't keep quiet any longer so I went to see him and we had an argument. It got pretty heated and ugly. I pretty much forced him to tell me where you are, I got the first flight out here and here I am. My parents think I've gone to New York and I will be flying out there tonight, I'm sorry for just showing up on your doorstep, Ana, Christian may have tried calling to warn you but I didn't want to wait any longer to see you again."

"I see." _Sort of._ I think I forgot to put my phone to charge last night.

I can hear the sadness and disappointment in her words and posture. Mia always idolised Christian, he was the big brother who could do no wrong. It never crossed my mind but seeing her here like this it's apparent that everyone's relationship with not only I but Christian as well has been a casualty of this situation.

If she is telling the truth that he never told them about why I left and about the baby five years ago, they must all be extremely resentful towards him. His family always meant the world to him, as much as a prick that he is I don't want them turning against him, he never liked to admit it but I know he needs his family's love and support.

"Why did you leave Ana? I was hurt as well. I thought we were going to be sisters and then you disappeared without a word. Screw my brother, he will always be a selfish asshole but I was there, you could have called me you know. Don't get me started on Kate and Elliot either. I can't believe they knew all this time and didn't say anything."

I feel tears spring to my eyes and blink them back. How can I possibly explain myself when I'm so confused. Only thinking about that time brings back all the thoughts and emotions I experienced again. It's now my turn to stare into my mug.

"Please don't blame Kate and Elliot, Mia, they only did what I asked them to. It may have been wrong of me but at the time that was the decision I made. The last thing I wanted was to cause problems for your family."

I reach across my kitchen table to take hold of her hand.

"I know both Christian and I are at fault here and we both have to face the fallout. I really don't have an answer you'll be happy with, Mia, when he kicked me out that day all I could think was how heartbroken I was and devastated. He could have come after me but he chose not to, I suppose in some ways I took the easy route, it would have been too painful to stick around. I did the best thing for me which was to leave. I can admit I was selfish but I can't go back and change the past. I also assumed that he would have told you all that I cheated on him and that you would all have hated me so I stayed away. I am sorry, Mia. I wish things had turned out differently."

"So do I. All I can say now is at least he's come to his senses and trying to do the right thing. That needs to count for something right? I know I shouldn't ask this but can you ever give him another chance, he's been miserable for so long, even if it is his own fault?"

"I don't know if I can do that. His priority needs to be his daughter, not me."

We've been in the kitchen for almost an hour when my daughter walks in wearing her frozen nightie, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Mummy…"

She takes one look at Mia and stops talking and walking. Her eyes widen in shock at the unexpected stranger sitting in our kitchen.

"Come here, baby girl, it's okay." I call her over and she runs to me, climbing on to my lap, shy and unsure. I run my hands through her mess of bed hair.

"Charlotte, this is your aunty Mia, she's your daddy's younger sister. She surprised us with a visit. Can you say hi for me?"

"Hello." She softly offers then looks back at me. "I have another aunty? Is Daddy here too?"

"No, it's just me this time and yep, you sure do have another aunt but I'm the fun one." Mia answers for me making Charlotte giggle.

Mia's eyes have lit up, she has a huge smile on her face while taking in her niece's appearance.

"You are so pretty. Is Queen Elsa your favourite character?"

Charlotte glances down at her nightgown before replying.

"No Olaf the snowman is, he's funny."

"He sure is. Oh, before I forget."

Mia reaches into her over large red hand bag and pulls out a pink gift box, handing it to Charlotte.

"It's an iPad from Christian. He asked me to bring it over for you so they can skype each other. I hope that's okay."

"It's fine. Charlotte would like that. How about some breakfast?"

As I fry us all some eggs I don't know how to feel about the ipad. On one hand I can understand where Christian is coming from in order to be able to see his daughter and vice versa when they talk, on the other hand it's a little extravagant for a four year old isn't it? If he thinks or hopes he'll be seeing me on that thing it isn't happening.

Following breakfast we spent a lovely day with Mia at Forsyth Park where we walked around, had a picnic lunch and played catch with the ball we brought along. Mia and Charlotte got to know each other a little more. We left the deep conversation behind and enjoyed the day, it's not like we could talk seriously with little ears around anyhow. I let myself relax and have fun. Whatever my expectations were for today, they certainly were not this. Before long Mia had to head back to the airport. I offered to drive her but she preferred to take a taxi. I was so grateful she wasn't holding a grudge against me that when I hugged her goodbye I started to cry again. She left with promises to spend a spa day with Charlotte next time she sees her.

On the drive back home with a sleepy little girl I started to think that maybe things won't be so bad judging by the way Mia reacted to Charlotte and seeing me again. I won't need to be afraid when Charlie spends time with her father and his family. I expected her to be less understanding and show a tad more animosity towards me. That's Mia for you though, always trying to make everyone around her happy no matter what.

XXXXX

On Monday I'm sitting at my desk at work eating my boring ham and cheese sandwich for lunch when I log onto my online bank account to pay some bills. I check the balance expecting to see one figure but almost fall off my chair when my account holds a whole lot more than it should and I mean a _whole_ lot more.

I chuckle because I don't believe it then close my eyes thinking I'm seeing things and it has to be a mistake. I reopen them only to be met with the same amount of an extra four million dollars in there. Shit. It could have only come from one place and I am going to kill him.

"Son of a bitch." I yell out.

"Ana, everything okay?" James calls out from his office.

"Yes, fine. Sorry, I was just surprised by something." I call back.

What is this, who the hell does he think he is? Why on earth would he even assume it's okay to do this? I don't want nor need his money. What is he playing at here? I am so angry. He's managed to piss me off without even being here. I know if I call him we're going to get into an argument so I do the next best thing and send him an email.

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Bank Account**

 **Mr Grey,**

 **There seems to be a gross error with my bank account this morning.**

 **I seem to have an additional $4,000,000.00 which should not be there.**

 **Please tell me that this was not your doing and if so explain yourself.**

 **I don't want it. Take it back.**

 **Ana**

I hit send and sit back to wait on his reply which comes through not one minute later.

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Bank Account**

 **Anastasia,**

 **Yes I placed those funds into your account as back payment of child support which I believe I owed you. My lawyer assured me that the sum of one million dollars for each year of Charlotte's life was sufficient.**

 **Please accept it. It is only fair seeing as you have carried the burden of raising her on your own up until now.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings**

Fair?

Is he freaking crazy. How does he figure basically paying me for looking after my daughter is fair in any sense of the word. He is supposed to be a smart man but when he pulls shit like this it makes me wonder.

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **To: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Bank Account**

 **I don't want your money Christian, I never have. I don't want anything from you.**

 **What the hell am I supposed to do with that much money?**

 **Take it back or I'll just give it all away.**

 **I don't believe you know the meaning of the word fair.**

 **Ana**

Again he responds almost immediately.

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Bank Account**

 **Don't be ridiculous.**

 **You could stop working and stay home to be with Charlotte more if you wanted.**

 **If you don't want to use it fine, at least put it aside for** ** _my_** **daughter. I'm only trying to help and do what's right.**

 **And believe me I know that I have been unfair.**

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings**

Ridiculous? I'll show him ridiculous. If he was standing before me right this instance I would gladly pick up my metal letter opener and stick it in him without hesitation. I can't believe the audacity of him. If it was possible steam would be coming out of my ears. I'm not sure if I'm more insulted or plain enraged. I don't bother replying back to him anymore, there is no point, I'm not going to get anywhere with him and it will only make me more furious. Stubborn ass that he is. Child support? I did perfectly fine without a cent from him all this time. If he's feeling guilty and trying to ease his conscience that's not my problem. I need to calm down before I break something.

I dump the remainder of my lunch in the trash having lost my appetite and step out of the office hoping a walk and fresh air will help me decide how to deal with this. He has to understand he can't come barging back into my life again and do whatever he wants, I will not allow him to control any aspect of my life again and that includes my money. I may come off as a bitch or too proud but I don't feel comfortable taking it. If he wants it put aside for his daughter that's fine but he can place it in a trust account or something, not in mine. The nerve of that man.

 _Calm down Ana, let it go for now you need to finish the day off._

XXXXX

Thursday morning I wake up with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I have taken the day off work as I have Charlotte's appointment with the cardiologist at the hospital at 11:00am. The anxiety and worry wouldn't allow me to sleep last night. I was running all sorts of what if scenarios in my mind. I have never been so afraid to go to a doctor before.

We take our time getting up. She got up first and came to snuggle with me in my bed, dozing off again for a further half an hour. I kept watching her, her face and hair, her eyelashes and shape of her chin, the colour of her tiny lips. I know each and every feature of her, what she has gotten from me and those passed on from her father. I slowly lift her hand placing our palms together and measure it against my own. Hers small, innocent and soft whereas mine is bigger and world weary. What will these hands become one day? Will they hold and nurture or teach or create. I only want her happy, if she's happy and loved then there's not much more I can ask for.

I haven't prayed in a long time but please God if you're up there and listening, don't let my daughter be ill. I can't contemplate the thought of her having a condition that may cause her serious problems, that I may lose her. She has been the only thing that has kept me going for so long. I need to keep positive. This is just routine and she'll be fine. She will be. I won't accept any other outcome.

Arriving at the hospital we take the elevator to the third floor and I hold Charlie's hand as we walk down the sterile corridor towards the doctor's office. He was expecting us and tells us to come on in. His office walls are covered in posters and pictures of the human body and hearts, so many diagrams showing all the inner workings of that organ it makes me feel uneasy. The doctor is in his mid-fifty's and supposed to be the best. He looks as if he keeps in shape and still has all his blonde hair which has begun to gray around his temples. He has kind green eyes which say you can trust me.

"Miss Steele, nice to meet you."

I shake his hand then sit in front of his desk.

"Hi, Charlotte my name is Dr Gibson." He only gets a small semi smile from her while she plays with the doll she brought along.

I had to try and explain the best I could to her about why I'm bringing her to see a doctor today but she is too young to fully comprehend it. As far as she knows you only go to see the doctor when you're sick and need medicine.

"Thank you for seeing us."

"Not a problem. How can I help you today?"

"Charlotte's father has a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which I only found out about and he advised me that it can be hereditary. We're here to find out if it has been passed on to her. What would that involve exactly?"

"Well, the condition, also known as HCM for short, is associated with the thickening of the heart muscle, most commonly at the septum between the ventricles, below the aortic valve. This leads to stiffening of the walls of the heart and abnormal aortic and mitral heart valve functions, both of which may impede normal blood flow out of the heart.

"Many people with HCM have no symptoms or only minor symptoms, and live a normal life. Others develop symptoms, which progress and worsen as heart function worsens. We can determine and check for the condition in a variety of ways. For starters we can take a chest x-ray, physical exam or stress test and ECG. There is also the option of a blood test but due to her age I would prefer not to have to draw any blood, at the most extreme a CT scan or MRI is performed."

He continues to explain it to me pointing to various posters and pictures.

"Okay, I understand, so how long will it all take?"

"A couple of hours and you'll have the results straight away. Tell me if she has ever shown any of these symptoms or complained of any chest pain, fatigue, fainting, shortness of breath or heart palpitations."

I think back but there has been nothing of sort.

"No, never, she's always been fine."

I examine my daughter beside me who seems no different than she did two weeks ago.

"Well in that case you probably have nothing to worry about so let's hope today we'll be able to rule it out altogether. Let's get started shall we. Please follow me."

Stepping out of the doctor's office into the corridor to head to the examination room I notice a tall figure turn the corner and hold Charlotte's hand a little tighter.

Christian is here and walking towards us. Why is he here? I don't know if I'm surprised he showed up for this or to have expected it. This is Christian Grey, stalker extraordinaire after all, although he could have warned me he was coming down, I can't even get mad at him because he has every right to be here for this. I know it's only been a couple of weeks but so far he's made a tremendous effort to get to know his daughter. The question is will he keep it up. I on the other hand haven't spoken to him in a few days, I have nothing to say to him. When he finally makes eye contact with me though, he seems guarded and cool, the warmth only coming through when he looks at Charlie.

"Daddy!" Charlotte shrieks when she sees him and runs into his arms.

"Hey princess." He smiles at her while lifting her up.

 **CPOV**

When I returned to Seattle I had Ryan fly out to Savannah the next day. I know the worse thing I could do at the moment was have someone spy on her, if she finds out I'm a dead man however I need to know someone is there to keep an eye on them and ensure they're safe. He knows to keep his distance and only report to me if something was to occur. I had not heard from him at all until Monday morning when an email came through.

He didn't say too much in it. He didn't have to, the two photos he attached said it all. Ana was out having dinner with that Henry fucker. The first photo had them seated in a restaurant laughing and drinking, the second photo hit me right in the gut, but I couldn't look away from it, that asshole had his lips on her. He was kissing my Ana and in a fucking carpark. Where the fuck was my daughter while she was out? She was telling the truth then about him.

On paper he comes across as a decent guy. I must have read his background check a dozen times to pick up on something, anything that seemed off but there was not even a trace of a speeding ticket. He's a widower, works as a pharmacist and has a decent amount of savings in his bank account, the fucker even volunteers at the local children's hospital, compared to me the fucker is a fucking saint.

Out of jealousy I pick up the closest thing to me which happens to be the metal pen holder on my desk and throw it clear across the room in anger but it's not satisfying enough.

I head down to the gym to hit on the punching bag for an hour to expend some of these feelings. I'm more infuriated at myself than anyone else, this is all my fault. Everything Ana said to me is true. I ruined us.

Tuesday finds me at GEH. A sense of melancholy has settled on me and nothing I do helps.

I've just left Ros' office and walking back to mine when Andrea stops me.

"Mr Grey, your mother is waiting for you in your office. I'm sorry Sir, I couldn't stop her, she seemed upset."

 _Just great._

"That's quite alright, Andrea, thank you."

I find my mother seated on the white couch I have in my office, staring off into space. I close my office door and move towards her which gets her attention then sit beside her.

"Mother. Is everything okay? I wasn't expecting you."

She takes hold of one of my hands and squeezes it.

"No, Christian, it's not. I came to apologise to you. I never should have hit you the other day when you came to talk to us. I'm so sorry my darling boy. I feel terrible and so guilty. I have never laid a hand on any of my children and I can't believe I did that to you. I'm so sorry. I reacted out of anger, I know it's no excuse, I was hurt and lashed out at you. Please forgive me."

I reach up with my free hand to wipe away a tear that has fallen down her face.

"There's nothing to forgive."

I take a deep breathe. This woman took me in, raised and loved me and I repay her by lying and staying away. She never complains or nags but now that I have spent time with Charlie and have to be away from her I can understand how I must have made her feel all these years by keeping my distance. It's time I set make things right with my family as well, starting now.

"I screwed up, Mum and I don't know what to do. Ana won't give me the time of day to talk, and I mean really talk. I don't want to argue with her but everything turns into a fight. How do I get her to listen to give me a chance to prove I'm not that person? I want them back, I want them home and to be a family."

"The only thing I can suggest is time. Give her time, show her what an amazing father you can be and don't pressure her. This can't and won't be a quick fix. If it's meant to be it will find a way to work itself out. Why did you never tell me the truth? When it all first happened before it got out of control, we could have sorted it all out back then, you are too stubborn for your own good, Christian, always thinking you're right and refusing to listen to anyone."

She's correct. I allowed pride to get in the way. How dare one girl make a fool of Christian Grey. Turns out the fool is me. I'm not sure if time is going to make any difference here.

"I know. I thought I knew the truth. I was too proud that I didn't want everyone knowing that she had made me look like a fool. I was so sure she had been unfaithful and embarrassed to admit it. It was easier to say nothing and not deal with it. I was such an idiot and couldn't have been more wrong."

She lifts her hands higher up to cup my face, holding me in place.

"I feel as if not only did I lose Ana and precious time with my grandchild but also you, Christian, you have spent so much time away from us and in London. We didn't see you for over a whole year. You were overseas and refused to come home. Why?"

The pain reflected back to me in her eyes is agonising except I can't tell her. I wish I could and one day I will but Ana needs to be the first to know the reason I took so long to go to her. If she ever allows me to be in a room with her for more than five minutes.

"It was easier to stay away where there were no memories everywhere I turned. I tried to hate her and forget about her but I couldn't and then when the doctor dropped the bomb of the reversal on me well I hated myself. I thought about her all the time. I still love her and she can't stand to look at me."

I didn't exactly lie only omitted certain aspects. I get up and walk across to the bar in the corner of my office to pour myself a strong drink. I offer mother one but she declines. I slug it down quickly then return to the couch.

"That's not true, she loved you once too and your daughter is a reminder of that love. I'm a doctor you should have spoken to me, Christian, I could have helped you. Why did you keep the fact you had such a surgery a secret."

"Because it was personal and I'm not father material, at least I thought I wasn't. You know my history mother, what could I possibly have to offer a child and with my condition it was for the best. I have so much to make up for. I lied to Ana and kept things from her on top of the accusations I threw at her. I don't deserve her forgiveness."

"Do you know if Charlotte is healthy?"

 _I really hope so._

"She has a doctor's appointment this week to find out. I'm going to fly down to be there. I'm scared, what if I can't fix things and she never gives me another chance. What do I do then?"

She gets a look of determination on her face.

"Are you going to give up because it's too hard? Yes I said to give her time but no matter how long it takes be persistent, if that is what you truly want. Eventually woo her, wear her down, show her what she means to you."

I can do that.

"Thank you, mother."

"Do you have a picture of her?"

I stand once again to pick up the framed photo I placed of Charlotte on my desk and hand it over to my mother who gasps and begins crying.

"She's precious, so beautiful. Look at those eyes. When can I meet her?"

I stick my hands in my pockets and shrug my shoulders.

"I'll talk to Ana about organising it. Soon, I promise, I just don't want to rush her or overwhelm Charlotte with so many new people."

"I understand sweetheart, please let her know we're not angry with her if that will help. I'm glad we talked. I'm here for you, for anything you may need."

She stands up, smoothing her grey pants down with her hands.

"Now, I'll let you get back to your day while I go deal with that brother of yours."

I walk her out of my office and to the elevator. She has a point. I don't give up and always go after what I want. I'm going to fight for them and the life we should have but first I need to get rid of that douchebag.

XXXXX

Thursday morning I'm on the jet and in the air as early as possible to get there in time for Charlotte's appointment. I try to get through some emails but I'm too anxious to concentrate. I left Taylor behind this time seeing as Ryan is already there and meeting me at the airport to drive me over.

I walk in through the automatic entrance doors and ask reception for directions to the appropriate wing of the hospital. With quick strides along the corridor I make my way to them with the strong smell of disinfectant wafting into my nose. I hate hospitals with a passion and hope to never have to spend a lot of time in them ever again. As soon as I turn the corner I see them coming out of an office with who I assume to be the doctor.

Charlotte runs to me and I swing her up into my arms. It's good to see her in the flesh again and hold her. When I look at Ana all that comes to mind is that stupid fucking photo Ryan emailed to me. _Now is not the time and place to think about it, Grey_.

We're both sitting on stupid fucking uncomfortable plastic chairs in one of the examination rooms. It's so awkward, Ana has barely acknowledged that I'm right here beside her. First Charlotte was taken to have an x-ray of her chest followed by a simple physical exam where the doctor listened to her heart. Now she's on a miniature treadmill hooked up to an ECG machine while we wait for the x-ray results to come back. She thinks it's a game trying to run as fast as she can to make the numbers on the display go higher. She's been so great with everything so far. It helps that the doctor seems to be good with kids and explains everything to her in a way she can understand.

The nerves are just radiating off Anastasia, she has her hands clasped tightly together in her lap with her right leg bouncing up and down. I cover her hands with one of mine in order to try bring her some comfort if she's willing to accept it.

"Try not to worry and think positively. I know it's easier said than done and if the worst happens and she does have it then we will do all we can to help her and to understand it, she can still live a normal life with medication and not let this affect her. It doesn't have to mean that things have to drastically change. I'm sorry I'm putting us through this."

She moves her hands away.

"Please don't."

I take my hand back blowing out a breath. She can be so frustrating.

"Ana…."

"Thank you for coming today. Charlotte is happy to see you." She interrupts me.

 _What about you?_

"Of course I would be here. This is more important than anything else."

We have so many issues to resolve, like the money, but where to start, I'm not stupid enough to bring that up today. The doctor begins to unhook the wires from Charlotte signalling that they're done.

"Okay, Charlotte we're all done. You did very well and are so brave." The doctor says to her with a grin. She runs to us and climbs onto my lap.

Just then a nurse knocks on the door and walks in carrying a large envelope handing it to the doctor. I hold my breath, this is it, the moment of truth. He takes the scans out and hangs them up inspecting them.

"She is absolutely fine. There is nothing showing here and based on the ECG results as well there is no sign whatsoever of the condition, however I would like to see her again in a years' time to be on the safe side."

I let out a sigh in relief as I pull my daughter closer to my chest. I stand with her in my arms to shake the doctor's hand. A huge weight and worry has just disappeared. She's perfectly healthy.

"Thank you, doctor. You have no idea how happy we are to hear that."

I look behind me to Ana who is crying tears of relief. She has covered her face with her hands.

"Thank God," I hear her mumble before she stands also thanking the doctor before hugging and kissing Charlotte in my arms. I can't resist and wrap one arm around Ana pulling her into a group hug however she pulls away after a couple of seconds. I have to admit the rejection stings but the important thing here is that our daughter is more than fine.

"We should celebrate. Who wants ice cream?" I ask to be met with a loud cheer from the perfect and beautiful girl in my arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

 **CPOV**

As the three of us exit the hospital Ryan makes himself known and approaches.

"Sir?"

Fuck. I should just fire his ass on the spot now. He should have waited for me to call him. Needless to say we will be having words later. The last thing I need is Ana seeing him around and she will know exactly what he's up to still hanging around here once I'm gone.

"Ryan."

He knows I'm not pleased based on my terse voice and glare.

"Where's Taylor?" Anastasia asks.

"Back in Seattle. This is Ryan, another member of my security team."

"Miss Steele." He nods her way.

"Come on, daddy, the ice cream is waiting for us." Charlotte pulls on my hand to get us moving.

Following Charlotte's demand there was argument over who was driving. There was no point taking two cars when we were going to the same place. It's obvious Ana is reluctant to go and would rather driver herself than be in the car with me however she also doesn't want to disappoint Charlotte. I give in and agree to let her drive us. I tell Ryan I'll call him once I'm ready to be picked up and he makes his way back to the car as I follow Ana to where she's parked. I really want to say something about her car and how she should have a new and safer one but I also know it won't go down well. _Pick your battles, Grey._

After an awkward thirty minute drive out of the city to South Beach and an even more awkward lunch we're seated near the water on some concrete steps leading down to the beach, Charlotte sitting between us enjoying our ice creams cones. Charlotte convinced me to get the blue bubble-gum flavoured one as well because it's her favourite so how could I refuse. She sticks her little tongue out at me to show that it's turned blue so I stick mine out too which sets her off giggling.

I turn my head to the left to view Ana's profile. She looks miserable. We're out in the sunshine on a beautiful day after learning our daughter did not inherit my condition but I need to admit that my presence is hurting her and that's the last thing I ever wanted. I allowed myself to forget how much being around her affects me and how pretty she is when she's not even trying. The familiar scent of her perfume brings back memories of when I would have my face buried in her neck. The wind is blowing her hair all over and across her face. My fingers are itching to touch her and I want nothing more than to lean over and move it for her but I know it won't be appreciated.

"You must be relieved." I say over Charlotte's head.

"I am. The worry was keeping me up most nights. How long are you staying?" She says without looking my way.

Trying to get rid of me already I see. Well it's not going to be that easy baby.

"I thought I would stay for a couple of days before flying back if that's okay with you."

She's silent for a long time giving away no clue as to the thoughts in her head until she eventually nods.

"I had a visit from Mia."

"I know. She called me afterwards letting me know how well it went and how much she loved Charlie. I did try calling. I also apologise for anything she may have said or done to upset you while she was here."

"It's fine, we had a nice day together but please no more surprises."

"Okay."

After another quiet drive back to Ana's place I was going to call Ryan to come collect me in order to give Ana some space when Charlotte insisted I watch a movie with her. That's how I find myself on the couch with her curled up by my side watching Despicable Me.

"Who's that? Is he the bad guy?" I ask.

"Yes but not really."

"What are those yellow creatures called again?"

"Minions remember." Right.

"But what are they?"

"Shh, no talking." She puts her finger to her lip.

Well I've been told. I kiss her on the temple and tell her I'll be back in a minute.

I walk into the kitchen where I find Ana seated at the table writing what looks like a shopping list.

"Anastasia." She looks up at me expectantly. "Can we talk, please, we need to discuss some things, you know we do, stop trying to avoid me."

She bites her lower lip in contemplation and I can see in her eyes the moment she gives up the fight.

"Okay, but outside, I don't want Charlotte overhearing."

I nod in agreement and follow her out on to the back patio, taking the chair beside her. She stays quiet waiting for me to begin. I lean my elbows on my thighs and glance down at the ground.

"As you can imagine my parents want to meet Charlotte. I spoke to my mother before coming out here and told her the when and where would be up to you and she understands. I would however like to give them some sort of time frame if that's alright with you. "

"Of course, I just need a little more time, but I don't think I can come to Seattle. Would they mind coming here in say two weeks' time maybe. There are so many changes occurring in Charlotte's life so quickly I just want to have the chance to talk to her and make sure she's dealing with it all fine."

"That'll work. Okay, then. Two weekends from now I'll fly them out here. Thank you."

"Sure. One second."

Ana goes inside to quickly check on Charlie who's still watching her movie then returns.

"The other thing I wanted to say is I realise you're angry about the money I deposited in your account and yes perhaps I should have spoken to you about it first but you would have told me you didn't want it."

She turns in her chair to face me, a look of determination coming over her.

"You're right I would have. All this time I got by, it's not money I needed, I needed help, from you, yes I had my mother and I'm grateful for it but it wasn't the same thing. Do you think you can pay your way out of your mistakes because that's how I see it, am I supposed to be grateful?"

"No, of course not. You do realise though that if we went to Court over any of this shit that the Judge would have ordered me to back pay you child support in any case and it probably would have been more based on my earnings. So what's your solution?"

"Take half of it back and the other half I'll withdraw and place into a trust for Charlotte until she's an adult."

I rub my hand over my face, so fucking stubborn, always has been.

"Fine I'll take the two million back, I'll have Andrea get in touch with an account number, the rest you can place in a trust with the exception of a hundred thousand. I want you to keep that, just in case it's needed, perhaps get yourself a new car, that's the only way I'll agree to it."

I can see her mind working behind those eyes and her mouth open and closing trying to come up with an argument. She caves and agrees in the end, it would be pointless going round and round in circles over this.

I can't help myself and my curiosity gets the better of me. I'm a glutton for punishment it seems.

"How was your date on Saturday?"

She looks at me in disbelief. Yeah, I can't believe I asked that either.

"How do you know…?"

"Well my daughter let it slip on the phone that you were going out so I assumed it was with that Henry fucker."

"Don't call him that. You don't know him and you don't really want to know the answer to that. It's none of your business." She becomes defensive.

No I don't because her lack of a real answer is more than enough to know exactly what happened.

"So you're going to continue seeing him then."

"What do you want from me, Christian, what do you want me to say?"

"I know I have made mistakes, big ones but please let me fix them, give me a chance. You said I gave up on us and you're right I did but now I'm trying, don't you give up on us. We owe it to our daughter to try. Aren't you even willing to try? Doesn't she deserve to have both her parents together in the same house?"

"Yes, she does in an ideal world, however she also deserves for it to be a happy home. I can't trust you."

Well there you have it.

"I have some questions and I need you to be honest."

"Ask away."

"How and when did you discover you had the heart condition?"

"You know about my birth mother and how Grace was the doctor on duty the day I was brought in and that's how I ended up being adopted by the Greys."

"I do."

"Because I was so malnourished and pale they performed a variety of tests and scans on me. That's how it was picked up. Over the years Grace kept a close eye on me until I was old enough to take care of myself and begin taking medication."

"And the vasectomy?"

"I was 21 when I decide to have it done. I didn't think having a family was in the cards for me. I had trouble letting people in and then there was my fear of touch until you came along and changed that. What sort of life could I possibly give a child if I passed this on? They would have been afraid to run around like a normal kid does."

"Last question, why did you never tell me any of this? All those months you had plenty of time and opportunity but you kept it to yourself. Why? All this could have been avoided."

"I didn't tell you because I was afraid to lose you. You would have realised I wasn't perfect. If you knew that there would be no kids it might have been a deal breaker and I couldn't risk that, I needed you too much but I lost you regardless."

She stands up angrily with her hands on her hips.

"Do you know how crazy that sounds? Did you think that I would think so little of you? I loved you, Christian and that included all of you and your flaws no exceptions, not that I see it as a flaw, you're not responsible for how you were made but you were responsible for how you dealt with it and the keeping of it to yourself. I never wanted perfect. And if you were so afraid of having children to pass it on to you should have spoken to me, we could have found a way to work around it, but you were selfish, that ego of yours is really something else, you didn't even give me the benefit of making up my own mind. You were going to rob me of the chance to be a mother without any discussion whatsoever. A marriage like that was never going to work. How do you not see that? That is not love."

I stay quiet.

"You have nothing to say now?"

"What can I say?"

"If you truly loved me, Christian you would have been honest from the start, maybe then we would have stood a chance and been a real family. Instead my life has been this rollercoaster of ups and downs while you've been living your carefree life. Tell me, Christian how often did I even cross your mind?"

"ENOUGH!"

I bang my hand on the table causing her to jump and stop her tirade.

"Please just stop." I beg.

She crosses her arms over her chest and begins to turn her back when something catches her attention.

"Christian, what happened to your hand, how did you get that scar?"

I glance at my clenched fist which shows the faint white line running across the knuckles of my right hand. I open my hand up stretching my fingers. _Tell her the truth, she already hates you._

"You seem to be under the impression that I didn't come after you when you were staying with Kate and Elliot, that I didn't love you enough, but you're wrong I did."

"When?" She gasps.

"It was five days later. I was sitting outside their place in my car. I was ready to forgive you on the condition you got rid of it. I talked myself into believing that if the baby was no longer an issue that we could move forward. I was going to ask you to kill our child. Even if at the time I truly believed it wasn't mine it was still a part of you."

I feel the hot tears run down my face. I have never admitted this out loud to anybody. I quickly wipe them away.

"I left. When I returned home I stood in front of the bathroom mirror until I couldn't stand to look at myself any longer so I smashed it. The glass cut me, needing stitches and leaving this scar. I was a monster. It's probably best that I wasn't around you or Charlotte."

I quickly stand up, feeling as if I'm suffocating.

"I'm sorry, I have to go, tell Charlotte I'll be back later."

I almost run through the house trying to reach the front door. I can hear Ana's footsteps chasing me.

"Christian, wait." She calls out.

I open the door to face another nightmare. Ray is standing there, his arm raised ready to knock.

Fuck!

 **APOV**

I'm hot on the heels of Christian . I don't know what happened back there but he seems to be panicking about something.

When he opens my front door I hear a voice I was not expecting which freezes me on the spot. What is it with people just showing up at my door lately?

"What the hell? ANASTASIA!" He yells.

I run forward and move to stand in between them to find my father scowling and throwing daggers at Christian. His timing could not be worse. I haven't had the chance to tell him that Christian is back in my life.

"Dad. What are you doing here? You didn't tell me you were coming down."

I swallow down my nervousness like a teenager getting caught.

"It was supposed to be a surprise. What is he doing here?" He sneers.

"Grandpa!"

Charlotte comes running over hearing his voice. Ray puts a smile on his face for her, kneels and reaches out for her.

"There's my favourite girl in the whole world."

He gives her a hug and kiss before she's off again.

I shift my eyes to Christian who looks unsure and nervous. This is not going to go well. With the fallout of what happened when Christian threw me out Ray had some very clear feelings and choice of words. He hates Christian. I hated him too for a very long time but I had to let that anger go or it would have consumed me and my daughter deserved a mother that was not bitter. I need to talk to my father to make him see reason.

"Christian can you please take Charlotte out to the park or somewhere for about an hour so I can talk with my father. Here you can take my car."

I collect my keys from where they're hanging near the door and hand them to him.

"Of course."

"And you trust him to leave and not come back with her." Ray jumps in accusingly.

"I do." I say without hesitation. I don't even have to think about it. Christian may be a lot of things but he's no kidnapper. I roll my eyes at the thought. I may not trust him with my heart but I trust him with our daughter.

"Hey princess, do you want to go out for a drive with daddy. Maybe go to the toy store?" Christian asks Charlotte as he kneels down in front of her.

"Yeah." She jumps off the couch bouncing on the spot.

"Let's put your shoes on then."

This child hates to wear shoes. The first thing that comes off each and every time we step through that door are her shoes.

Christian helps her slip her sandals on then picks her up in his arms.

"Say bye to mummy."

I kiss my daughter while Ray glares at Christian as he walks past carrying Charlotte out.

"Bye, mummy."

"See you soon munchkin." I smile.

I close the door behind them and turn to face what feels like the firing squad. Ray has his hands on his hips looking at me both perplexed and livid with a storm brewing in his eyes. His disappointment has me becoming a little girl again that's being scolded for letting her parents down.

"What is going on, Ana? Why is he here? What possible reason is there for me finding him in your home?"

"Let's sit down."

I follow him over to the couch, sit next to him and turn the TV off. The quite is too loud if that even makes sense. Usually Charlotte is running around playing and making noise.

"He showed up a few weeks ago, wanting to meet and know his daughter."

"So why now all of a sudden does he believe you that she's his daughter and what, you just let him in like the last few years don't matter."

"The why doesn't matter. He's her father, what am I supposed to do. I don't want to be one of those horrible women who keeps their child away from their fathers because of their own issues. It's not fair to her."

Christian has always been a very private person. His health issues are no one else's business.

"You could never be a horrible person, Ana."

"Look, yes he's made mistakes but that is neither there nor there. We all have to behave like adults for Charlotte's sake, I will not have her caught up in the middle of this. Only after a short amount of time she adores him and she needs him. I'm sorry if you don't like it but you're just going to have to get used to it."

"So that's how it is. I thought you were smarter than that. After what that poor excuse of a man put you through you're giving him another opportunity to do it all again. What if the next time your daughter gets caught in the cross fire?"

"I don't think that will happen. You haven't seen them together. Nothing is changing except that Charlie is getting to know and spend time with her father whenever he's able to come visit. That is all."

"That is all. Don't lie to me or yourself."

"Why are you so convinced I'm going to allow myself to fall for him again?"

"Because you once told me he was your soul mate."

"Yeah, well I was a young and stupid girl. I promise you I haven't forgotten anything."

A girl that had to grow up very quickly and had the rose coloured glasses I saw the world through smashed to smithereens.

"You're a grown woman, Anastasia and I can't tell you what to do or how to live your life but don't come crying to me if it all blows up in your face."

Okay, so that really hurt to hear.

"Wow, thanks for the support dad."

"Are you kidding me, Anastasia I have done nothing but support you all these years. Who was there when you couldn't get out of bed, when you ended up in the hospital?"

Another Anastasia. That makes it three times he's said it now. He must be extremely pissed off.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." I whisper back.

Tears pool in my eyes recalling that time. I came close to losing her. There was a certain day I was so upset my blood pressure sky rocketed and I had to be admitted to hospital for a few days.

Ray moves closer to me and gathers me in his arms.

"I love you sweetheart and that little girl. The last thing I want is to see you back in that state."

"Dad, please trust that I won't allow him to charm me so easily again. I may not know 100% what it is I'm doing but I'm trying my best and I don't need to hear it from you and mum. This is my choice and you need to respect it even if you don't agree. Charlotte needs to come first and that is what I'm doing, the way you always put me first. He may surprise us all but I won't know if I don't allow him the chance. I owe it to my daughter to give him the opportunity."

"Okay, Annie. I won't say anymore."

"Thank you."

The rest of the time is spent talking about other things and the golf game he and Bob have planned for this weekend which is the real reason he flew out here. Over the years Ray and Bob have become the best of friends thanks to the fact that he's spent so much time here with me and Charlotte.

Christian and Charlotte return with smiles on their faces and Charlotte wearing a Belle costume and tiara on her head. I should be thankful that's all she came back with seeing as Christian has a tendency to go overboard. Christian is carrying a couple of paper grocery bags as well.

"Charlotte wanted to make burgers for dinner together so we went shopping." He says as they walk in.

My dad gives Christian a not so pleasant look before taking Charlie outside to play with him. I help Christian unpack the groceries onto the kitchen counter.

"He may not come around anytime soon but he accepts the situation."

"It's fine, Ana. I understand. I was a massive jerk to you. I'm honestly surprised that you've allowed me back into the house."

"I don't actually have a choice, Christian."

I'm preparing the patty's while Christian washes the lettuce and the domestic scene cuts me like a knife to the heart. This could have been our normal. I stop and stare at him for a moment, he would hardly ever spend any time in the kitchen beforehand, at least not voluntarily. I giggle at the way he's butchering that lettuce and watch the way his hands and fingers move. My stupid body finds this moment to recall how his hands used to feel on my body and goose bumps break out over my skin. _Snap out of it Ana._

I don't get to dwell on it for long however since Ray and Charlie come back inside because he's heading off. I don't have a spare room so he usually stays with my mother and Bob when he's here, which I find odd but it works.

"Ray, can I have a word please?" I hear Christian ask.

He doesn't reply just heads for the front door. I follow them and hide behind the door in case things escalate between them.

"You don't have to like me but the least we can do is be civil and respect each other for Ana and Charlotte sake. I'm her father, that's not going to change no matter how much you may wish it to and I'm not going anywhere either."

"I thought the last time we spoke I made my feelings very clear."

When did Ray see Christian? He never mentioned anything.

"Well a lot has changed since then."

"You listen to me and listen good. I do not care who you are or how much money you have, I can't stand the sight of you. Ana may be willing to give you a chance to be a father to that darling girl because that's the type of person she is, her big heart has always been her downfall but I'm no fool, people like you don't change. Screw with my daughter and granddaughter and I will not hesitate to crush you. In the meantime stay away from me and we won't have a problem."

I quickly run back to the kitchen to not get caught eavesdropping and pretending to know nothing.

Christian called that Ryan guy right after dinner and left after helping clean up. He was smiling and acting fine for Charlotte but he wasn't fine, it was all an act. He was lost in his head somewhere. I did the best I could to make the meal a fun one for our daughter but it wasn't easy not that she noticed.

Standing in the shower I think over our conversations today. I have more questions than answers. He said he came for me then left, he was going to get me to choose between them, I can't believe that, he was never that cold and heartless before, regardless he would have lost. When did my father see him, does he know something more than he has let on? What caused Christian to run out like that this afternoon? Why did it take him so long to show up? I'm giving myself a headache trying to makes sense of it all.

There has to be more to the story. I shouldn't care but curiously I do.

I only hope I don't live to regret this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

 **CPOV**

I'm waiting in the hotel's restaurant at lunch time for my guest to arrive. If she shows up that is.

While I wait I nurse my glass of scotch and think about my shopping trip with Charlie. Normally I'm not one to volunteer to go shopping but I enjoyed myself. I acted like such a big kid trying out new toys I had never heard of before. I grin as I think about it.

She is such a well behaved little girl and I loved the one on one time we had. As soon as she spotted the Belle costume that was it, she had to have it, even though she still politely asked for it and insisted on wearing it then and there. I wasn't sure how to handle that request so I gave in and put it on her over her clothes. She looked adorable and wore it to the supermarket getting smiles from everyone we passed.

Speaking to Ana I started having a panic attack. What if I had gone up to that apartment and convinced her to get rid of the baby? Charlotte wouldn't be here right now and that thought makes me sick to my stomach. I'm such a stupid son of a bitch she would have ended up hating me in the end and the world would not have had the chance to know what an amazing young lady my daughter is because I know just by looking at her that she's going to achieve great things.

When Ana and I were in her kitchen together last night preparing dinner I caught her looking my way on a few occasions, perhaps I still affect her more than she wants to admit. When we sat down to eat I couldn't get the idea out of my head if we would have had dinners like this back in Seattle if we stayed together or if I would have been the type of father who was always too busy with work to have meals with my family. So many what-ifs are running through my brain and no clear answers.

I see her walk in, dressed in black pants and flower patterned long sleeve shirt and stand by the door looking around the room for me. I notice how the past few years have aged her even though she's still a good looking woman at her age. She spots me, straightens her back to stand taller and walks across the dining room to stand next to my table. I rise up out of my chair to greet her.

"Carla."

"Christian."

"Please take a seat."

I indicate to the chair opposite me. She hesitates for a moment but does as I ask.

"Would you like a drink?"

"Sparkling water will be fine, thank you."

I nod to the nearby waiter who goes off to the bar to bring her a bottle and glass.

"I don't know why I'm here but call me curious. Why did you ask to meet with me?" She says getting straight to the point.

"I want to apologise to you. It's long overdue. Before Ana and I became engaged I made certain promises to you which I broke in the worst possible way. I never intended to hurt her. I'm sorry. I'm sure you're aware that Ray came by Ana's yesterday and found me there."

"Yes, I know. He had plenty to say about it. I appreciate you wanting to see me and apologise in person, Christian but I don't know what else you are expecting from me."

"Ray's never going to forgive me and I don't really care it's not his forgiveness I need or want but you're Ana's mother. I would like for us to get along. I don't want Charlotte to pick up on any animosity when I'm around at the times you are as well because it's bound to happen."

"Why now all of a sudden, Christian?"

"I was wrong, I admit it and I've lost enough time as it is with them. I want to put my family back together. If any other man was in my shoes he would have reacted the same way. Don't tell me that he wouldn't have."

"True, but maybe another man would have been honest and not treated her like dirt on his shoes or I don't know listened to her."

There is no satisfactory answer I can give to that.

"Do you still love her?"

"I do."

"Let me ask you a question. Now that you have met your daughter, accepted her and love her and then somebody comes along in twenty years' time and hurts her the way you did Anastasia, what would you do?"

"Kill them." I answer. I would ensure that they suffered.

I understand exactly what she's trying to tell me. I never expected this to be easy but I have to try.

"I want to tell you something about my daughter. She's put up a wall around her heart and the only person allowed in is Charlotte because she feels that's the only person who won't hurt her. You destroyed her Christian. She's no longer the Ana you remember. But she's strong and if you think it's going to be easy for her to let you in again, it won't be. I would love nothing more than to see Ana truly happy again but I'm not sure if you're the one who can do that. You already had your chance."

"Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?"

"Not always. She waited by that phone for you to call. Even though she kept cursing you out and hating you she still somehow kept some hope until there was nothing left. I was there holding her hand while she was giving birth but she was crying out for you. Do you have any idea how painful it is to see your child in so much heartache and misery?"

I hate the mental image she has just put into my head. I don't want to picture Ana suffering but she did and all because of me.

"No, I don't, so what do I do? I can't just walk away from them. No matter how long it takes I'm going to be here and work on fixing us."

"There is nothing I can tell you that will help. It's up to Anastasia but if I were you I would concentrate on Charlotte for the time being. Let Ana live her life and if she by some miracle changes her mind and wants to give you guys another chance, then so be it. Listen, Christian, I know deep down you're a decent guy who wants to right his wrongs and I'm not going to stand in the way or cause you trouble, because frankly it has nothing to do with me in the end. If she never wants to try again then promise me that you'll continue to be the best father that girl deserves."

"Of course I will. There's no question about that."

Even though it will hurt tremendously only seeing her a few times throughout the year knowing that she's growing up on the other side of the country away from me.

"Well as nice as this has been I should get going." Carla rises up from her chair to leave. I stand as well but stop her.

"Wait, before you go can I ask you something?"

"I suppose."

"What about this Henry guy Ana is seeing?"

I watch as she looks beyond me over my shoulder and thinks about her response before making eye contact with me again.

"All I will say is that I know my daughter and she doesn't love him. Goodbye, Christian."

I don't get a chance to question her further thanks to my phone ringing in my pocket. It's Ros calling about a problem at the London office. The legal department have screwed up a contract for an important deal and I need to deal with it in person and possibly fire a few dickheads. I hate going over there, it does not bring happy memories, in fact the worst time of my life was spent there but I have no choice in this situation but to fly over and deal with it.

So much for spending more time here. I call my pilot to get the plane ready then call Ana.

"Christian?"

The simple sound of her voice over the phone still has the power to render me speechless and make me pause.

"Hi, I need to fly out to London so I'll be leaving very soon. I may not be able to call Charlie every night because of the time difference but I'll try my best. I'll be in touch about my parents coming down in a couple of weeks."

"I appreciate you letting me know."

That's all she has to say?

"Can I say bye to Charlotte?"

"Yeah, sure, one second."

I spend the next two minutes explaining why I won't be around today as promised. It sucks having to be so far away from them however that's how it has to be for now. I meant what I told Carla, no matter how long it takes I will continue to fight.

 **APOV**

 **Two weeks later**

I spent most of last night and this morning cleaning to make sure the house is spotless and tidy. I'm proud of my home but it's a far cry from the type of life Charlotte would have had back in Seattle.

I'm nervous and afraid. Afraid of being judged. I'm a grown woman for crying out loud yet I can't seem to sit still. It's not every day you have to face the grandparents of your child and parents of your ex-fiance who you haven't seen for five years.

These past two weeks have gone by too fast for my liking, having heard from Christian only a handful of times since he flew over to London then late last night I got a text message from him letting me know what time he and his parents will be here today. Charlotte has missed their nightly calls and has fallen asleep holding on to the phone a number of times.

I sat Charlotte down and spoke to her about Christian's family even showing her photos of them. She is nothing but excited to be getting more grandparents who will no doubt spoil her rotten. She seems to be adapting to having so many new family members in her life quite well. The resilience of children I guess.

I myself have tried to not think of anything to do with the past and concentrate on the future only. Not that it's been easy. So many memories have been trying to resurface the closer I got to today. When I ran away, because let's face it that's exactly what I did, I believed I had truly left them and everything else behind for good.

I can be thankful that I'm not nearly as nervous as I could have been if Grace had not called me a few days ago. In fact I'm still reeling from the surprise phone call. She got my number off Christian as she believed it best to talk and clear the air before coming in person to meet Charlotte. I was waiting to hear and feel hostility from her when in fact she tried to make me feel better about keeping my daughter and the reason I left so suddenly a secret, increasing my respect for her.

 _"_ _Hello?"_

 _It's a Seattle number I don't recognise._

 _"_ _Ana. It's Grace."_

 _I almost drop the phone from the surprise and disbelief. I sit down on the floor of my bedroom and lean against my bed._

 _"_ _Um…hi, Grace," I squeak out, my mouth suddenly dry._

 _Shit, what do I say?_

 _"_ _I know you weren't expecting my call but I wanted to talk to you before coming out there this weekend."_

 _"_ _Okay."_

 _"_ _Firstly I would apologise to you for my son. I realise it's a little late but I didn't raise him to be that kind of man. We never knew what occurred between the two of you, he refused to tell us anything. I'm sorry. I never should have listened to Christian I should have pushed him and tried harder but I could see it would upset my son every time I brought you up. I attempted to call you but by the time we knew anything was wrong you had left and changed your number. Why didn't you come to me, darling?"_

 _A heaviness settles on my chest making if difficult to breathe._

 _"_ _I have no real answer for that question besides being extremely upset and wanting to put as much distance between us as possible. I know he's your son, Grace but you weren't there that day, you didn't see him, the look of hatred on his face when he kicked me out, the words he said to me. I was in a fog. When I didn't hear from anybody I assumed that you all believed Christian's version of events, I had no idea that you were all kept in the dark for so long. I chose to protect myself and my baby so I left. Maybe I made the cowards' choice but I would do it again. I'm sorry it turned out this way."_

 _"_ _You know I would bug Kate constantly asking if she'd heard from you until one day she told me that you wanted nothing to do with any of us. I couldn't figure out why or how things went so wrong. Now I realise she was carrying this secret."_

 _"_ _I never meant to cause problems with Kate and Elliot, they were my only friends. If Christian didn't believe me what chance did I have of anyone else listening to me?"_

 _"_ _Well, it's in the past now and we can't change it. I really am looking forward to seeing you again. Carrick and I can't wait to meet Charlotte, Christian has told me so much about her and she sounds wonderful."_

 _"_ _Why are you being so understanding and kind to me?"_

 _"_ _We don't hate you, Ana. Yes we're upset and hurt over the situation but you're the mother of my grandchild. I know how much you loved him once and the type of person you are. My son has made mistakes, I'm not denying that or excusing his behaviour however I also know his thoughts and feelings, it's not a good situation for anyone to be in"._

 _End flashback_

I stare at the clock on my wall ticking down the minutes to their arrival. I'm dressed in a pair of black jeans with a pink blouse. Charlotte is in one of her favourite purple sundresses with her hair in pigtails. She's such a cutie. I've left her playing in her room until they get here.

God, I think my heart's going to jump out of my chest.

A quiet and gentle knock on the door has me looking up at it. Maybe I can just pretend I'm not home. Now I'm being ridiculous. I wipe my sweaty hands on my pants and smooth down my hair before opening the front door. There they stand looking the same and as immaculate as they did the last time we were in the same room, both Grace and Carrick are smiling at me. Carrick is carrying a large gift bag which I can only assume is a gift for their granddaughter.

Do I hug them or shake their hand?

Christian looks exhausted, what the hell was he doing over in London. _Not your business Ana._

"Hi. Come on in."

Grace hugs me as she breezes past and Carrick greets me with a kiss to the cheek.

"Oh, Ana you look wonderful." Grace gushes.

"Thank you."

Christian enters last, his cologne wafting over me as he passes. It's the same one he used to wear when we were together. Back then just the smell of him was all it took to get me needy and naked. Bastard is probably doing it on purpose. Well I'm not falling for it.

"Welcome, I'll go get Charlotte."

I step away taking in a deep breathe to calm my anxiety. It's so weird having them here in my home. I enter her room calling her over.

"Daddy's here with his mum and dad. Are you ready to meet them?"

She comes to me grabbing my hand as we walk back out together into the lounge room. She's half hiding behind my legs her shyness taking over as she eyes her grandparents for the first time ever, taking them in. Christian comes over to her, picks her up and walks her over to his parents making the necessary introductions.

"Hello there, beautiful girl. It's so lovely to meet you. My name is Grace and I'm your Grammie and this here is your Pop Carrick." Grace all but starts crying coming face to face with Charlotte as she runs a gentle hand across her cheek.

"Hello little lady. I heard you like Disney princesses so we thought you might like to have a castle for them to live in." Carrick tells her handing her the bag. It's too large for her to hold on to so Christian takes it allowing her to peek inside.

"Wow. Thank you." She answers with large and excited eyes.

"Can I open it now?" She loudly whispers to Christian who chuckles setting her down on the floor and helps her open up her toy. It's a beautiful plastic princess castle which opens up to reveal different rooms much like a dolls house along with a couple of dolls.

I offer them seats on the couch then stand there as an observer watching them interact. I keep waiting for an accusatory look to come my way but there's nothing. They've waltzed in here as if the last 5 years haven't occurred. My living room suddenly feels too small with them all in here.

"Would anybody like a drink or some coffee?" This way I can step away for a few minutes to try and make sense of my thoughts and reflect on what's occurring here and the possibility all will turn out fine.

"Coffee would be great dear, thank you."

"Same for me please, Ana." Grace and Carrick kindly accept.

"Christian?"

He looks over at me, studying me like he's trying to find something before answering.

"I'll have the same."

Ten minutes later I return with three coffee mugs on a tray, my tea and some milk for Charlotte. I place the tray down onto the coffee table and take a seat in the single armchair as my daughter questions and listens to Grace explain what it's like being a doctor before Grace and Carrick start a conversation about some of her favourite things, all while she's seated in Christian's lap, holding onto one of the dolls. I'm happy to see her slowly opening up to them.

Grace asks me what I've been up to and we chat a little about my work and my parents. That's another hurdle we'll have to come across. Both our parents meeting and being in the same place again, maybe for Charlies' birthday we can try having the whole clan together on the day. If it goes well, great, if not then never again, but I won't know until we try.

Carrick clears his throat to gain my attention whilst Grace is now seated on the floor playing with Charlotte.

"So what are the plans for the future, have you talked about it at all, in regards to custody and visitation, a formal agreement may be a good idea. Charlotte will be starting school soon and decisions like this can be made easier if the parties have discussed these things beforehand. Such as which parent does she spend Christmas with and so forth."

"Well it hasn't really been all that long." I start to say looking to Christian for help, panicking because I haven't considered any of that yet.

Christian jumps in telling him to drop it as nicely as possible.

"We don't need a piece of paper to be able to raise our daughter together."

Carrick can't help but wear his lawyer hat. I recognise all he's doing is looking out for his son's interests here and I can't blame him.

"Be that as it may, just think about it, it will save a lot of heartache and misunderstanding down the road. That's all I ask. No one ever expects or wants things to get ugly but sometimes these things happen when emotions get involved."

"Dad, that's enough." Christian grits out through his teeth not wanting Charlotte to hear his anger.

Is Carrick right, do I insist on Christian drawing up a parenting agreement on shared holidays and birthdays and all the other crap we'll need to deal with together. I can't fathom not having Charlotte here with me at Christmas, but then again Christian will want to also spend his first Christmas with her as well. What kind of school will he be happy sending her to? No doubt he'll choose a horrible private school.

Grace's voice pulls me out of my head.

"You've done very well for yourself, Ana. Charlotte is such a happy child, she's just delightful. You should be so proud of her. Can I see some of her baby pictures?" She asks me.

"Of course, I'll be right back."

I leave them for a minute to retrieve the photo album from my bedroom. On my return I overhear their conversation and slow my steps staying out of sight.

"I love her already, Christian. Our family is slowly coming back together, please fix your relationship with your brother, I hate seeing the two of you at such odds and Elliot misses you." Grace begs. "Have you had any ideas about how you're going to convince Ana to give you another chance?"

"It's not that easy mother. Elliot hates me for what I did and I resent the fact that he got to meet my daughter before I did. I'm not blaming him for that, I know it's totally irrational but it's how I feel. Not once did he come to me and try to talk sense to me and Ana barely tolerates me." He snorts.

He sounds frustrated. What does he expect, for everything to be hunky dory, because he's finally stepping up and taking responsibility like he should have from the beginning.

I make noise as I commence my stride back into the room.

"Here you go." I say as I hand Grace the photos. She opens the front cover and coos at the photo of a newborn Charlie with Carrick looking on. Charlotte stands on the other side of her explaining what each photo is. I feel Christian's eyes on me and try to avoid looking his way. It's starting to irritate me and I'm grateful when I hear my phone ringing from the kitchen so I can escape his gaze.

"Excuse me." I mumble.

I walk into kitchen to quickly answer it before it gets sent to voicemail. It's Henry. Why is he calling me, I told him that I was busy today.

"Henry?"

"Hey, Ana. How's everything going?"

"It's fine. Listen, now's not a good time for me to talk, I'll call you back later."

"Sure thing. You know where to find me."

That was odd. I hang up and turn around to see Christian in the doorway. He must have overheard or realised who was on the phone based on the sour look on his face.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

He takes two steps forward towards me however there's nowhere for me to go seeing as I'm right next to the counter.

"I just wanted to thank you for today. My parents are over the moon."

I look down.

"There's no need to thank me. This was the right thing to do."

When I raise my head again he's come even closer. I tightly squeeze the phone still in my hand.

"I want you to ignore what my father was saying. I don't want to fight with you over any of that, Ana."

"Neither do I, but…"

"No buts, we can work this out. I know we can."

I shake my head not wanting to hear it.

"Anastasia."

He reaches over and takes the phone out of my hand, placing in onto the counter then reaches back for my hand, running his thumb across my knuckles the way he always used to. Electricity and sparks run up my arm. My body would never not react when he touched me. The hairs on my arm stand up, with my heart rate increasing, my breathing becomes shallow and he's only holding my hand, why do I still feel this strong pull to him after everything. His eyes are pleading with me and are those of the man I first fell in love with and not the cold monster who destroyed us. It's been so long since I've had such a reaction and felt anything close to this all because of his body being in such close proximity to mine. If it was anybody else I would want nothing more than for him to kiss me. Why is it only him that can do this to me damn it?

"We can, Ana. I believe it deep down inside my heart." He quietly and convincingly says.

What am I doing? I pull my hand away and step around him.

An hour later Grace and Carrick decide to head back to the hotel they're staying at as to not overwhelm Charlotte. I spent that hour not even turning Christian's way. Why does he want to torture me like this. I've told him I don't trust him that I can't go through that again with him and yet he still persists.

I'm now standing at the door saying bye to them as they again thank me for having them visit.

"Would you mind if we see you both tonight for dinner, maybe at the hotel before we fly out in the morning?" Grace kindly requests.

How can I say not to them? They have so much time they want to make up for.

"Of course, Grace. That would be lovely. We'll see you later on."

"Bye daddy. Will I see you later?"

Christian is kneeling down hugging Charlotte. Her little arms around his neck.

"Yes princess. I'm going to see you tonight. Be good for mummy, okay. I love you."

Once they're gone I turn to my daughter who's on the couch playing with her new dolls again. I sit next to her then pull her onto my lap kissing her head.

"Did you have fun with your grandparents?"

"Yeah, I liked them. They were nice."

She looks up at me sadly.

"What's wrong?"

"I just wish daddy didn't have to leave again."

I hold her to me tighter. Oh Charlotte, I wish I could give you the family you deserve.

XXXXX

Later in the day I hear my phone go off indicating a new text message. I pick it up off the kitchen counter and see it's from Kate. Opening it up it has a photo attachment along with it. The picture is of Kate with Elliot and Ava. Underneath the caption says 'Guess who's going to be a big sister?' They all look so happy. I reply with a congratulations, put my phone down and walk into the living room on shaky legs before collapsing on the couch.

I cover my face with my hands as the tears come. Crying for what I've lost, the broken dreams, the loneliness. I'm so lost in my grief I don't even hear Charlotte come into the room until she speaks.

"Mummy what's wrong?" She worriedly asks.

"I'm just a little sad but nothing one of your great big hugs won't fix."

I pull my daughter into my arms and take in her scent. The happiest feeling in the world is holding onto my baby with her little body curled into mine. She has the power to brighten my day with a single hug and smile. All I ever wanted as I got older was for my own child to have a sibling, to not be lonely growing up like I was, to have a happy unbroken home, but look at me, I've failed her. Kate gets her happily ever after. What have I done? I'm sorry Charlotte we've both screwed up. I kiss her on top of her head as my silent tears continue to fall.

I love my friend but I can't help but feel a little jealousy.

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Where do I go from here?


	9. Chapter 9

**So this chapter ended up being longer than planned. I have a cold and not happy with the end but it is what it is. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 8**

 **APOV**

It's been a month since Christian was here with his parents. He hasn't been able to fly down, Charlie is missing him and constantly asking when she's going to see him. I spoke to him a week ago after his conversation with Charlotte where he told me that there's no way he can come to see her for at least another month, it's a really busy time for him at work and there is no possible way for him to get away for a few days. He asked if I would at all consider flying out to Seattle with Charlotte for a weekend. My first instinct was to say no but I can't do that to my daughter, in order for their relationship to continue growing they need to spend time together. I don't know if I'll have the courage to step foot inside Escala while we're there so we'll be staying at a nearby hotel.

Grace heard that we'll be there this weekend and has invited me over for lunch on Sunday with the entire family. Not sure how that's going to play out but I can only hope for the best.

Christian also brought up the topic of Charlotte's upcoming birthday and that he wants to be here for it. His suggestion was to fly his family here and hold a birthday party for her at home. He even offered to pay for it which I told him wasn't necessary. This will be the first time her whole family will be there to celebrate it with her. I am certain she'll love having a large party although I can't say the same. My only wish is for it to go smoothly without any drama. I can't believe my baby girl will be turning five in a few months. Time really does fly, I wish I could hold onto these simple moments with her for a little while longer.

Work has been busy for me thanks to a new development of apartments that James is selling which helps to keep my mind off the things going on in my personal life. Henry being one of those things. He asked me to join him for dinner on two occasions this past month, I agreed but cut our evening short as my heart and head wasn't in it. I could see the disappointment in his face but he didn't argue the point. The second time I turned him down and made up the excuse that I couldn't get a babysitter for that weekend. He knew I was lying since my mother is always willing to come over and watch Charlie. I don't know what the matter with me is, the thought of spending time with him wasn't as appealing as it once was. Perhaps whatever we had going on has run its course.

We're flying out tomorrow morning. My mother has Charlie for the night and will bring her back in plenty of time to head to the airport. Christian will be sending his jet down for us. It was a battle to stop him doing so, I would rather catch a commercial flight and not put him to any trouble but he insisted saying he'd feel better knowing his daughter is flying on an aircraft he knows is safe. How do I argue with that?

I've already packed for the weekend. As I pulled out my suitcase from the top shelf in my closet a box fell down with it, the lid opening and the contents spilling out on the floor. On my hands and knees collecting the various papers up I came across our engagement announcement photo. Christian in his grey suite with white shirt and red tie to match my dress. It feels like a lifetime ago when that was taken. My throat instantly filled with unshed tears. Why today of all days?

I've now been seated on my couch for the past hour staring at the photograph in my hand and drinking cheap white wine straight from the bottle. The effects are hitting me strongly seeing as I have always been a lightweight and cheap drunk when it comes to alcohol.

My phone rings beside me and I pick up without checking to see who it is.

"Heeelllooo." I slur slightly as I answer.

"Anastasia?" The concerned voice comes across.

 _Shit._

"Hellooo, Christian."

"Are you okay?"

"No, not really." I admit.

"Ana, are you drunk?"

"Maybe just a little bit." I giggle.

I hear him exhale over the speaker.

"Where's Charlotte?"

"It's Friday, she's with my mother."

Please as if I'd be drinking with her around. I roll my eyes at him.

"Oh, right of course. I was calling to confirm that everything is still good to go ahead at 10:30 tomorrow."

Is he afraid I won't get on the plane I think to myself. I told him we'll be there and I keep my word.

"Yep." I answer popping the 'p'.

I hear him clear his throat.

"Why are you drinking?"

Do I lie or go with the truth? No. I'm going to tell him why. Let him suffer along with me.

"Do you know what the date is today, its June 19, today would have been our wedding anniversary."

"I know, Ana." He whispers.

"Tell me something, Christian, how did you spend the day we were supposed to be getting married?"

"Ana.."

"Tell me." I insist.

"I really don't remember I was drunk most of that day and night. I wanted to forget."

Of course he did. Suddenly I'm really angry.

"Well do you know how I spent it? I was in the hospital that day. I was so upset that my blood pressure sky rocketed and I started spotting. They kept me in there for three days. I was so scared I thought I was going to lose her. I was terrified, not only was I going to lose my precious baby but also the last bit I had left of you too."

The tears start to fall recalling that day. Damn this wine making me emotional. I take another swing from the bottle.

"Do you know why I named her Charlotte? Yes it's because of the book like I told you but also because it's similar to your name too. The C and H from the start of your name and the T from the end."

"Ana…" he begins but I stop him.

"It's not fair. Why did you have to make me fall in love with you so much, why did you trust me so little that you never gave me the opportunity to explain? My heart actually hurt, every time I took a breath I felt it ache. Why did I have to go through that, Christian, I get it, I'm not that stupid, I've had time to think, you had a valid reason for not believing me but you knew me, Christian, better than anybody else. I waited to have sex until I met you, how could you think I would possibly go out and screw someone else. We were getting MARRIED!"

The sobs and tears are coming full force now and will not stop. Way to have a break down Anastasia. I'm never drinking again.

"I'm sorry you went through that, Ana. The last thing I would have ever wanted was for you to go through that."

I try to control myself enough to speak wiping my nose with the back of my hand that's holding the bottle.

"You know I met a nurse while in the hospital, she could see the pain on my face and told me the way to get over a broken heart is to heal it with a new love, so that's what I did. I filled it with love, love for myself and my daughter. Now you come along and want to break me again."

"Never, Ana. I hated myself, I have wished I could have taken it back so many fucking times."

I put the bottle on the floor and lay down on the couch, my head feeling heavy.

"I don't have it in me to fight with you anymore, Christian. I give in."

I close my eyes with the phone still at my ear. As I fall asleep I think I hear Christian whisper "I love you, Ana."

XXXXX

Charlotte and I turn up at the airport and are escorted out on to the tarmac and Christian's plane, the big GEH logo clearly visible. We take the stairs up and enter where we're greeted by our flight steward. Once we have taken our seats I let out a sigh. No backing out now. I have a sight headache no thanks to the wine but it could have been worse.

I look at my daughter in the seat next to me beside the window bouncing up and down from excitement. This is her first time on a plane and she is super thrilled, add to that the fact we're on our way to visit her father there is nothing that will calm her down.

After take-off and a snack of fruit salad Charlotte is busy looking out at the clouds below us. She is amazed by them, her little eyes glued to that window. My own however keep glancing to the back of the plane where the bedroom is located remembering the first time Christian brought me on it and joining the mile high club with him.

We had been dating for a little over a month and he had to go to New York for a meeting. He took me along with him saying he didn't want to be separated for even the two days he would be gone. Once upon a time he used to always such sweet things to me.

If I close my eyes I can picture it all, the sounds, the smells, the way he would stare into my eyes as I laid below him, surrounded by him. His cheeky grin when he teased me. I shake my head to clear it of the images.

Landing in Seattle Taylor meets us at the airport with his black SUV to take us to our hotel.

"Hello, Miss Charlotte. Welcome to Seattle." Taylor greets with a grin as he holds the car door open for us. "Miss Steele." I smile at him and follow my daughter into the back seat.

Driving along the familiar streets of the city a feeling of melancholy settles over me. It doesn't feel real that I'm back here. I didn't think I would be returning.

"Having fun?" I ask Charlie.

"Yes, Mummy. Everything is so busy and different." She answers without looking my way.

Half an hour later we are getting dropped off outside of our hotel. I thank Taylor, collect our luggage and check in. In our room as Charlotte explores all the draws and cupboards I send Christian a text message like I promised him letting him know that we've arrived.

He replies that he's in a meeting but has made reservations at a restaurant for the three of us to have dinner not far from where I'm staying for five o'clock and will meet us there. I drop my phone onto the bed and move across to the window to take in the view. How will this weekend go since I see this as being Christian's home turf and not mine?

 _Come on Ana, there are no sides here_.

Staying in this room is going to drive me crazy until dinner time.

"Charlotte, want to go out exploring?"

XXXXX

At five o'clock on the dot we walk into the family friendly Italian place to find Christian already seated and waiting for us.

"Daddy!"

Charlotte runs to him.

"There's my girl. I've missed you."

He swings her up and crushes her to his chest in a huge hug.

"Hi, did you find the place alright?"

"Yes, your directions helped a lot."

We take our seats at the table and open up our menus. I feel Christian's gaze on me and look up.

"Thank you for coming, I know it's not easy. It's good seeing you back here."

I have nothing to say to that so I nod and move my attention back to the menu in front of me asking my daughter what she would like to eat.

"Have you missed the city?" He continues.

"I haven't let myself miss it."

It's the truth, each and every time my mind wandered to Seattle and what was here I made myself stop and think of something else instead.

Halfway through our pasta meals Christian tries to talk about our conversation over the phone last night.

"Tell me what you went through. I want to know."

I place my fork down losing my appetite.

"Please, not now, Christian. I will one day but I'm not ready yet. It's still painful to think about. Last night it was the wine talking."

"Okay, Ana."

Charlotte is getting tired and rubbing her sleepy eyes and that's my cue to get back to the hotel and put her to bed. Christian walks us back carrying her the entire way. We don't talk as we stroll along, just look forward and watch our feet as they step on the pavement.

Outside the hotel's revolving doors he places a half asleep Charlie in my arms.

"Do you need any help with her?"

"No I've got it, thanks."

"I'll be here in the morning to pick you up and take you both out for breakfast if that's okay, then we'll spend some time maybe out at the marina if the weather is nice enough, show Charlotte the boats before heading over to my parent's house."

"Whatever you want, Christian this is your weekend to spend time with Charlotte however you wish."

He rubs her back and kisses her cheek as I'm holding her.

"Tomorrow I'm going to show you the house where daddy grew up. It has a huge backyard we can play catch in. Would you like that?"

She nods her head at him, too tired to do any more than that.

"Goodnight, Christian."

"Goodnight, Ana and thanks again."

I turn away making my way inside. He stands out there on the sidewalk until we disappear into the elevator looking dejected. As much as I hated him and am angry with him it still hurts seeing him like that. I'm not a mean person relishing in someone else's pain. Ever since he showed up he really has made a tremendous effort.

Don't let yourself soften Ana just because you're back here. Nothing has changed.

 **CPOV**

I've been stressed to the max this month. I have so many fucking deals happening at once I have paperwork coming out of my ears and Ros decided to catch the fucking flu now of all times and leave me without her help. I'm functioning on a maximum of four hours of sleep a night and exhausted. The only good thing being my nightly chats with my daughter. She doesn't fail to put a smile on my face. I've missed her terribly.

I honestly didn't believe I had a chance in hell of getting Ana to come here that I would have had to argue more but she surprised me. She has surprised me with everything since I showed up on her doorstep when it comes to me spending time with Charlotte. I'm grateful to her for not making things more difficult. The last thing I would want was to fight with her and have our daughter caught in the middle. I'm going to be positive about her flying here and take it as a step in the right direction.

I've just left them at their hotel and took my time walking back to Escala. I told Taylor not to bother picking me up tonight as I had a feeling I would need the fresh air to clear my head afterwards. They're so close yet so far. Last night I couldn't sleep after I got off the phone with Ana. A drunk Ana is usually funny but not this time. I hated hearing how upset she was over the phone. I really have no idea of everything she went through including the fact she was in hospital, that she endured the fear and uncertainty of losing the baby all on her own. I'm thankful it didn't come to that but once again the blame sits with me. She needs more time to open up to me so I'll give it to her, but how much time are we talking?

If I'm honest with myself deep down I was always afraid that I would do something to ruin things because I wasn't good enough for her, that happiness doesn't last and I proved myself right, I was a major dick but I'm determined to change that. Is that why it was so easy for me to push her away at the start because I thought I was better off alone even if my heart felt dead without her. I couldn't hurt any more than I already did right?

Tomorrow should be interesting. My mother is hoping that by having the whole family there it will clear the air and allow us to move on. I'm not so sure it will turn out the way she wants. Only one way to find out.

XXXXX

I picked Ana and Charlotte up this morning and took them to IHOP for breakfast. My father would bring my siblings and I here whenever my mother was out of town for a conference and I wanted to do the same for Charlotte since she's here. I drove myself with Taylor following behind in the SUV. I thought it would make Ana more comfortable and give a sense of normalcy to Charlotte.

After breakfast I drove us down to the marina. We fed the ducks our leftover toast, walked around and watched the boats bringing fish in. Ana let her guard down a little and I think she may have even had fun, not that she'd admit it. We've been civil to each other and not mentioned anything that will cause an argument or upset the other person.

We continue walking past all the boats and yachts as they get bigger in size until we end up at my own. I'm holding Charlotte's hand as Ana trails slowly behind us. I show Charlotte the Grace telling her it's mine letting her know that we can go on board. She stops walking afraid to get on.

I kneel down in front of her.

"What's wrong pumpkin?"

"What if we crash and sink?" Her eyes large and round.

"Daddy will be right here to protect you. Don't be scared and the boat is very strong."

"But there's sharks in the water."

"I promise to keep them all far away from you. I can be very scary, the sharks won't come near us but we may see a dolphin."

She looks back at her mother then reaches her arms up to me wanting to be carried.

We step aboard and I grab and put a child's life jacket on her.

She loved it. I sat her on my lap and let her be captain and steer the boat, pretending to be pirates looking for treasure. Her childish laugh the best sound I have ever heard.

We took the Grace out sailing for an hour with Mac coming along to help. Ana was quiet standing at the railing and I noticed her shoulders sag looking out at the water. This boat holds lots of memories for us, one of them being when we had taken it out for a long weekend and anchored away from the world. We were in the water enjoying a swim, I was holding her up in my arms, her legs around my waist when I asked her to marry me. It wasn't planned, hell I didn't even have a ring but I went with what I was feeling that day.

 _Flashback_

 _"_ _You are so damn beautiful."_

 _I nuzzle her neck._

 _"_ _You make me feel alive and happy and everything I never though I wanted or would have. I love you."_

 _"_ _I love you too, Christian."_

 _"_ _Marry me?"_

 _She moves away looking stunned._

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _Marry me."_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you feeling exactly as I do in this moment"._

 _Her eyes run across my face as a tear slips down her cheek before smiling._

 _"_ _Okay, yes." She nods._

 _"_ _Yes?"_

 _"_ _Yes, yes, yes!"_

 _I attack her mouth with my own and allow us to fall under the water._

 _End flashback_

Perhaps I had some ulterior motives for bringing us out here today. I want her to remember how good things were, remember that day and the love we had, which is still there. I can only hope it works in my favour a little.

XXXXX

We pull up in my parent's driveway and sit there looking out the windscreen at the house. Charlie fell asleep in her seat but is beginning to stir now that we've stopped.

I can see the nerves on Ana's face and how tightly she's holding herself up.

"Don't be so worried you've seen and spoken to everyone already. It will be fine."

"I wish I could believe you. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me how horrible and wrong I was."

"What happened, happened. No use dwelling on it, it won't change the past and throwing blame around won't help anyone either. Let's just concentrate on today and tomorrow."

"You're right. It's just lunch and we're going home tonight."

My mood plummets on hearing those words.

I climb out of the car while Ana gets Charlie.

"Come on sweety, your cousin Ava is here and waiting for you."

We walk through the house and kitchen to the patio where we find everyone. My parents, Elliot, Kate, Ava and Mia are all seated around the large glass table. It's a sunny day and perfect to be outdoors. My mother stands and comes over to us.

"Welcome you two. Come take a seat."

Charlotte clings to Ana getting shy with every pair of eyes on her saying hello. I stay standing to observe how they're all interacting with Ana and Charlotte here. I don't want her being made to feel uncomfortable otherwise I may never get her to fly out here again.

A few minutes later Charlotte and Ava have run off together to play on the swings my parents have set up. I follow a few steps behind to keep an eye on them leaving the others to their conversation.

My dad eventually fires up the grill for our bbq lunch which I help him with in order to keep out of the way. I would rather the attention not be on me. Everybody is being overly polite that it's not normal, like they're afraid to say the wrong thing. Besides that I think it's going well even if a little awkward and a few moments of silence around the table as we eat. Thank God for the kids keeping everyone entertained. However I pick up on the not so happy looks coming my way from my brother throughout our meal.

After lunch my dad, Elliot and I play chase with the girls while my mother and sister clean up. I'm not concentrating on Ava and she comes charging for me, pushing me with her little hands on my legs from behind propelling me forward onto my hands and knees in the dirt. The girls are in hysterics and I see her run back on her little legs to my brother giving him a high five. _Dickhead._

I go inside to use the bathroom and wash up only to run into my brother in the hallway on my way back out.

"Hey, Ell, thanks for coming today, the girls are having fun playing together."

"Whatever." He scoffs "I didn't do it for you I did it for our mother and for Ana."

"I get it, Elliot, you hate me but can we try and move on. Mother wants us to fix things and I would like that also."

"It's so simple and easy for you isn't it. Whatever the great Christian Grey wants gets."

He has been giving me attitude all day and his anger seems to have reached breaking point.

"Okay. Say what it is you want to say to me. Go ahead, don't hold back."

Maybe once he lets it all out he'll feel better and I'll feel like shit but what else is new lately.

"You want to hear it all little brother?"

"Yes I do."

I cross my arms across my chest in anticipation.

"Fine. The day Ana called Kate devastated then had us collect her things neither one of you would tell us a thing. As your brother I thought you would confide in me yet you didn't and that hurt. I was left to wonder what you could have possibly done that was so bad for Ana wanting to leave. All sorts of scenarios were running through my head and none I could believe you capable of but the truth was much worse.

"Do you have any idea how I felt when I saw her pregnant. She was seven months along and alone. She confided in us and told us what you did and what happened and I wanted to kill you but Ana stopped me because she still loved you even if you didn't deserve her love. I struggled with it not that you noticed.

"Do you remember me coming to you after Charlotte was born? I came to tell you you had a daughter but you were drunk and refused to listen to me you even forbade me from ever mentioning Ana to you ever again, you called her a whore. Your sorry ass didn't deserve to know about her."

"I'm sorry, Elliot, I don't know what else to say."

I truly do not recall that and yes I most likely was drunk.

"I'm not saying I'm completely faultless here but at least I tried, you have no clue the arguments I've had with my wife over this. I tried once more to talk to you. The day my own daughter was born and I held her in my arms it was love at first sight. You missed that with your own. I wanted to make you see sense, tell you what you're missing but you were in London and hung up on me. That's when I gave up."

He points his finger at me.

"I tried to talk to you but you are a selfish asshole and I don't think you can truly change. I decided that your daughter was better off without you and that I would be the best uncle to her I could be and not break my promise to Ana."

"If I haven't said it before I'm glad they had you."

"Fuck you, Christian. Don't give me your bullshit gratitude."

"What do you assume it's bullshit?"

"Because you really don't give a shit. I was in the middle of it all. Kate is my wife and Ana her best friend and you're my brother. Forget the situation with Ana for a moment. I asked you to be best man at my wedding yet you could barely stay through the reception before taking off after your speech. I'm sorry you fucked up your life but that was the happiest day of mine until Ava came along. You couldn't stay to share it with me. You've hardly spent any time with your niece. When was the last time you acted like a brother?

"I tried being a big brother to you but I could only do it for so long when you showed you didn't care either way. I hated the person you became. What the hell happened to you? You didn't see how many times mum would cry after getting off the phone with you because you weren't coming home. You think it was only Ana you hurt? Take a look around at us, your family and tell me you haven't hurt the rest of us. Tell me what was so fucking important over in London that you couldn't come home for two years."

"Elliot, I…"

"Save it. You know what the worst part of it all was Christian? You reminded me of my dick of a biological father. He did what you did, left my mother while she was pregnant, she abandoned me and ended up dead on the streets."

I've stood here and let him vent and heard more than I anticipated. I guess I have more sins than I'm aware of.

"Are you finished?" I seethe.

"Yeah, I'm done for now. You want to fix things? Mum is willing to forgive you your fuck ups so she can meet her granddaughter and Ana doesn't have much choice in the matter. She's a mother and putting her child first not that you would know anything about that. Today you show up with them and everyone is playing happy families but it's all an act and you know it. "

"So what do you want from me then, Elliot? I can't do anything right. I screwed up. I'm sorry I didn't talk or listen to you, I'm sorry I made our mother cry, I'm sorry I'm such a shitty human and brother, I'm sorry I did what I did to Anastasia, I'm sorry I missed the birth of my daughter. Are you so fucking perfect?"

He shoves me hard and my back slams into the wall behind me.

"You want to hit me? Will that make you feel better? Bring it."

Our father steps into the hallway and comes to stand between us.

"Stop this now." He demands. "Your children are in there listening to you arguing."

 _Fuck!_

I walk away leaving them behind. They were all outside when I came in now as I step into the family room everybody is seated there looking anywhere but at me.

Ana is holding a crying Charlotte on her lap. She must have fallen and scrapped her knee which is lightly bleeding.

Ana is stony-faced. After placing a band aid on Charlie she stands up with her in her arms avoiding eye contact.

"I want to leave please."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9**

 **CPOV**

I walk out of my parent's house following Ana who's still carrying a sniffling Charlotte after the worse possible way this afternoon could have gone. She straps her in her car seat then moves to the front of the car. I get in the back to reassure Charlie.

"I'm sorry if daddy's yelling scared you. Uncle Elliot and I were very silly to argue like that. It won't happen again. Okay?"

Her tear filled eyes hitting me right in the gut as she nods her head in answer. I kiss her sweet cheek before moving to my seat behind the steering wheel waiting for Ana to tell me where she wants me to take her. _Fucking Elliot_.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" She quietly asks.

"Sure." I think about where to take us. I was so certain she would want to go back to the hotel to pack. "There's a quiet café nearby or I can take you back to the hotel if you prefer."

"The cafe will be fine."

I text Taylor to let him know of our intention and our next stop then start the car.

Ana and I are seated at a table with Charlotte not too far away from us in the kid's corner where she has sat down to colour in. I have a cup of coffee in front of me while Ana nurses a mug of hot tea. Again I wait for her to start talking afraid of saying the wrong thing.

"I didn't realise how bad things were. I suppose I was a bit naive to think it would be so simple. I want you to fix your relationship with your brother, the two of you used to be so close and I'm sorry I caused that."

I reach across the table and cover her hand with mine causing her to look at me.

"Stop. None of that was your fault so please don't blame yourself. Elliot and I have always had our issues you know that. Some of what he said was true and yes I haven't been a particularly great brother but that's not your fault. It's on me."

"I should have stayed. No matter what the outcome would have been. I feel so guilty. I never considered how tough this was for them. We've put them in this situation."

She's right. We have. I lift my hand off hers and pick up my coffee to take a sip.

"What should we do then? How do you see us moving forward from here?"

"Last night Charlie was asking questions, such as now that we've come to Seattle are we going to be a real family and I had no clear answer. Today out on the boat it brought up both good and bad memories. You probably don't remember but the last time we went out on it I got sick, we thought it was the rough waves or something I ate but I was probably already pregnant that day."

I sigh and turn my head towards Charlotte happily drawing away unaware of the turmoil running though me.

"Then at your parents' house I felt like I was home with everyone there having a great time like it used to be. I didn't like Elliot saying it was an act. I have missed everyone, Christian even you. Charlotte could have had so many Sunday's spent like that with her family. I want to give her more weekends like this morning. While we there I realised how much she has missed out on because of me. I was selfish too and stubborn."

Tears are falling down her face. I have always hated seeing her cry. I lean over and wipe one away. I don't dare get my hopes up too much.

"Don't cry, Ana. Tell me what you want."

"Maybe we can try being friends and see how it goes. No pressure please for anything more. If we are to have any chance in the future then we need to do this. We both need to repair the damage we caused to your family and keep putting Charlie first. I also think that going to a counselling session together will be beneficial."

Great more shrinks, but if this is what she wants and what it will take I'll do it.

"Okay, fine. We'll do all of that."

"Great, thank you."

"What about the Henry fucker are you still going to be seeing him?"

"Christian!" she admonishes me.

"What? I'm sorry but he is. So are you?"

"I don't think it would be fair to go out on anymore dates with him but I can't avoid him. He's still my friend and his son is Charlotte's friend and I'm going to see them around. You can't stop me doing that just because you don't like the fact I had something with him for a while."

I can't really argue the point. She was a single woman. She could have done whatever she wanted. I can only be grateful she didn't fall in love with someone else.

"I understand."

"It's going to take a lot for me to let go of the past and trust you again. In the meantime we co-parent the best we can and make sure Charlotte is happy. After what happened today I don't know if I can come back to Seattle to visit again anytime soon but I don't blame you if that's what you're worried about, Elliot had every right to tell you his feelings but not like that and not there and then."

"Yeah, well my brother can be an ass. I'll talk to him."

We fall into silence and watch our daughter playing. I clear my throat which gets her attention.

"I did a lot of thinking last night after I left you guys. I know I ended it badly but if I knew you were in trouble I would have been there for you. I still cared about you. Those feeling don't just turn off. I wish I had known you were in the hospital, maybe we wouldn't be where we are today. I missed you more than you can imagine, Ana. My nightmares returned and I spent a lot of time drinking. I drank to pass out so I didn't have to dream. I regret wasting so much time."

"We have both made mistakes."

"We have but I'm glad we talked."

"Me too." She gives me a small smile.

Later on in the early evening after having taken Ana back to the hotel to collect her luggage I drive them to the airport to board the jet back home. I hate the fact they're leaving but if anything I think we have made some real progress this weekend. I have a path to follow which will hopefully get them back here permanently sooner or later.

Upon seeing the plane Charlotte starts to fuss not wanting to get on it and giving Ana a hard time.

"Why can't we stay longer?" She cries to her mother. _I feel you kid._

I squat down in front of her and place my hands on her arms.

"Hey you know what? Can you do me a big favour?"

"What?" She hiccups.

"Well you're my big girl aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Well I need my big girl to look after mummy to make sure that she's safe on the plane and that the boogie man stays away from the house in Georgia until the next time I come visit. Can you do that for me?"

"Okay." She giggles.

"Bye princess. I'll see you soon." I hold her tight and kiss her head before handing her over to Ana.

"Bye, daddy."

"Bye, Christian. Thank you for everything this weekend."

I watch them take the steps up and the doors close behind them.

Alone again.

 **APOV**

 **5 months later**

These past few months have passed me by so fast and a lot has been happening. Christian has flown down here twice a month to see Charlotte. Their relationship has become what I always wished for her to have with her father. They even share inside jokes which I don't get at all which they find hilarious.

The weekend after I returned from Seattle I asked Henry to meet me for lunch one day so we could talk. Before I had the chance to speak he said the words for me, that he knew this thing between us is over. He could see the struggle on my face.

 _"_ _It's fine, don't feel bad. I know I never had your heart, Ana but I tried to be there for you and be what you wanted. As soon as Grey came back in your life there really was no question of what would happen. I could feel the connection between you guys and I only met him for a minute. Charlotte deserves to have her father in her life and you deserve to be happy. If that's with him then there's nothing I can do about it. I don't know what happened between the two of you in the past but I hope he doesn't hurt you again."_

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Henry. We had fun together but I need time to myself and to see if this thing with Christian can go anywhere. We're still friends aren't we?"_

 _"_ _Sure, Ana, if that's what you want."_

 _His face is telling me a different story. Have I read him wrong this whole time?_

 _"_ _I know there is someone perfect out there for you, you're a great guy."_

 _"_ _I'll see you around, Ana."_

With that he got up and left the table. I felt like shit but I didn't want to lie to him or myself.

My own relationship with Christian is another story. He stays for an hour after we've put Charlotte to bed the times he has come to see her to spend time with me alone and just talk. We talk about work and what he's doing with the property he bought out here, about books and how much I miss the publishing world. It made me realise how much I missed talking to him. We used to spend hours chatting about nothing at all.

Being friends is all well and good but I don't think that's enough for me anymore. I'm not saying I'm ready to open my heart to him again but maybe I can give him a chance. He's proven himself more than I expected. I admit it's becoming harder to resist him when he gives me one of his panty dropping smiles as I like to call them. Old feelings are resurfacing. We've both been putting Charlotte first but it's time I think about myself. Why hasn't he made a move, is it because I told him no pressure, is he waiting for me to do or say something, to make the first move. He has given me all the time and space I could want but I'm ready for that chance, I want to try but at the same time it terrifies me. What if it backfires, what if he has changed his mind?

A couple of months ago we attended a counselling session together while he was here with a relationship counsellor I chose. My mother came over to watch Charlie while we were gone. It didn't go so well.

 _Flashback_

 _Christian and I are sitting next to each other on a leather brown couch. His knee bouncing up and down._

 _"_ _Stop it." I whisper over to him._

 _In front of us sits an older lady in her mid-fifties with greying blonde hair. I liked her instantly when I spoke to her over the phone and she has been doing this for a long time so I hope we get something useful out of today._

 _"_ _So Anastasia has told me a little bit about your history and that you wish to be able to co-parent your daughter and get along better without more issues popping up and anger getting in the way. I would like to know what your ultimate goal is, what outcome you wish to achieve at the end of all this."_

 _Christian answered her immediately._

 _"_ _I want my family back."_

 _"_ _Anastasia?" She turns her attention to me._

 _Me on the other hand didn't have an answer._

 _"_ _I…I don't know yet what it is I want."_

 _"_ _That is quite alright, there are no time limits here on when decisions about your future need to be made._

 _"_ _Christian, why were you so quick to judge and condemn Anastasia when she told you she was pregnant. Why did you not give her an opportunity to tell her side? There was always that chance that she was telling the truth."_

 _I see him rubs his palms on his jeans before he answers._

 _"_ _Because it happened to me once before. I was seeing a girl in college, it was never anything serious but she cheated on me. When I saw her a few months after she was pregnant. When Ana told me she was pregnant I felt like an idiot that it happened to me again, but I truly believed it wasn't mine. She knows how sorry I am about it all and how much I regret everything."_

 _I turn my body to face his._

 _"_ _Are you kidding me? So what? I was paying for someone else's crimes too was I?"_

 _I am so mad with him._

 _"_ _Of course not. But you want me to be honest and that's where my mind went that day."_

 _"_ _Anastasia, what is it that hurt you the most?"_

 _"_ _You means besides being called a whore, a cheater and a liar and being kicked out of my home. He kept important information from me. He made me feel like a fool, as if I had no idea who I had fallen in love with, who I was prepared to share my life with. He says he wants to try again and have us be a family but I keep thinking what if he continues to hide things from me."_

 _"_ _You don't trust me." He states._

 _"_ _No, have you given me a reason to."_

 _"_ _What have I been doing all this time flying back and forth? Do you think I enjoy spending all those hours on a plane? But I do it for Charlotte and for you. Am I wasting my time? You keep going back and forth. I love Charlotte and I'm making up for lost time but I can just as easily get her to come to me if that's all it was."_

 _We start bickering and getting louder throwing insults at each other, dragging up things that happened so long ago just to hurt the other. I think all the frustration has been unleashed in this small office and neither one of us is holding back until we're interrupted._

 _"_ _Okay, I think we should take a minute to calm down. At this point put all your energy into your daughter, give her a stable and consistent environment. All this anger will eat you up if you don't let it go. You will not achieve what you want if you're both harbouring all these thoughts and feelings about the other. You loved each other once and have a beautiful little girl, think about her for a moment, picture her in your mind. Now, this is what I suggest."_

 _End flashback_

We only went back for one more session which went a lot better. I took on board everything she told us. I let the anger go. It was always just beneath the surface simmering away whenever Christian was around and that wasn't fair to him.

Christian's relationship with Elliot is back on track. Kate told me they went out one evening after a lot of begging on Christian's part. Four hours later Elliot came home drunk and in tears saying his brother is the biggest idiot on the planet, too stubborn for his own good but that he also cared more than he showed. Since then they seem to be fine. I don't know what they talked about all Christian told me is that they worked things out and understand where the other was coming from. So long as there are no more arguments between them I'm happy. His whole family seems happy and has come back together the way it used to be which I am grateful for. Only this way can there be no more pain and hurt.

Today is Charlotte's fifth birthday party. I can't believe how much she has grown. It only feels like yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital and changing her diapers.

Christian stopped by last night to drop off her gift which she absolutely went nuts over. He gave her a red bicycle with white wicker baskets both in the front and back and colourful streamers hanging off the handles. She rode it around ringing that bell for an hour before getting tired.

My parents and Bob have been here since early this morning helping me set up and prepare the food. Christian wanted to get everything catered but I told him no, that this is all part of the fun of giving your child a party. I'm expecting him any minute now with the rest of his family.

At twelve o'clock about a dozen of Charlotte's friends from day care along with their parents are showing up including Henry and his son. Henry met someone about a month ago and asked if he could bring her along. Her car had broken down and she went into his pharmacy to ask for help and he was more than willing to help her. He was so smitten with the way he was talking about her. I'm happy for him.

I hear a knock at the door while I'm cutting cucumbers for the salad and call out to enter knowing it will be Christian. One by one they file in to the kitchen greeting me and Charlotte handing her presents galore.

"Charlie put your present s on your bed then came back out."

"Do you need any help?" Christian offers.

I shake my head telling him it's all good and to take his parents to the yard where mine are waiting. I pray their seeing each other again goes well. The last thing I want is drama today. Elliot follows them out with Ava leaving me alone with Kate.

"Woah, Kate you've popped out." I comment on her stomach.

"Ugh, I know. I feel like a cow already. How are things with you?"

We've spoken a lot more often than we have in the past and Kate is aware of the state of play between Christian and I.

"Good. I mean the same as the last time we spoke."

"What are you waiting for? Tell him today."

"I can't. I…"

We're interrupted by my mother and Grace coming in to the kitchen laughing. So I take it the reunion is going well then.

"Okay, darling what do you need us to do?" My mother asks putting an arm around me.

Stepping outside to check everything is ready I see Ray, Bob and Carrick at one of the tables together seated opposite each other, they all look uncomfortable. Christian and Elliot are watching the girls as they play in the cubby house.

As the other guests start to arrive it begins to feel more like a party and helps everyone relax. _It will be fine Ana, they all just need to spend more time together_. Henry along with his date and son were one of the last to arrive, he found me in the backyard putting out a platter of dips and crackers and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek before making introductions. I could feel Christian's glare burning into my head but refused to turn his way. He knows the deal and there is no reason for him to be jealous.

Three hours later my backyard is a sea of pink and purple balloons with kids running around on a sugar high. I hired an entertainer to come dressed up as a fairy and she has been great face painting the kids, giving them balloon animals and dancing around. Charlotte is having a blast.

I walk into the kitchen to grab some more napkins and the fruit platters to find my parents in a heated conversation.

"What's going on?" I ask making them both look my way.

My mother seems upset whereas Ray looks annoyed. They stop talking and now look guilty at being caught out and they are not answering my question. I'm definitely going to need an answer out of them and the sooner the better.

"Okay. So what were you arguing about?"

"Christian." My dad tells me not beating around the bush.

"Oh my God, this again. Dad I explained my reasoning to you, you told me you understood. Is there something you're not telling me?"

"He's not a good person, Annie, besides how he treated you."

"Really, Dad? How can you say that? He has made such an effort and put in hours of time to be here and build his relationship with Charlotte. She loves him and I have no doubt that he loves her just as much. He made a mistake which he's paid for and fixing. What is your problem?"

"Are you so ready to forgive him yourself? You don't know him like you think you do. Do you know everything he's been up to in the time you were apart?"

Well no, but we have made progress and I hope that as more time passes he'll continue to open up to me as I am trying to do with him and fill me in on that time.

"You obviously know something which is terrible about him so why don't you just tell me then."

"It's not my place." He says.

I shake my head at him. _Not his place?_

"You are unbelievable. You know some horrible secret about my daughter's father and refuse to tell me. Thanks."

"Ray, she should know." My mother jumps in. "Tell her what you told me."

He looks down in contemplation with his hands on his hips. I know when he's made his decision because he looks at me with a look in his eyes which tells me he's about to hurt me with his next words.

"All I'm going to say is ask him about the girl whose abortion he paid for."

"What? What are you talking about? How would you even know that?"

"Her father is an old buddy of mine. We were out one night when he got drunk, he was upset after finding paperwork and learning his daughter terminated a pregnancy with your exes name on the receipt. Like any father would he assumed he was responsible for the pregnancy. Why else pay for it?"

No that can't be true. Who? When? I feel like the walls are closing in on me and I need to escape.

I feel the breeze of Ray stomping past me and back outside as I stand there frozen.

My mother comes closer to where I'm standing but I put my hand up to stop her.

It's a lie. It has to be.

I run into my bedroom and grab my bag and keys running into Kate who is taking Ava to the bathroom.

"Hey, what's the matter?" She asks me upon seeing me upset.

"Can you please keep an eye on Charlotte and the party for me for a few minutes until I get back. I won't be long."

"Of course."

I get in my car and start driving. I have no idea where I'm going only following the road in front of me. Is what my father said true, was he in a serious relationship or just some random girl he also knocked up. Did he really get her to get rid of the baby? But he's so wonderful with Charlotte. I'm so confused and feel like all the progress we've made has been for nothing if he's been keeping such a big secret from me.

I end up at the beach where I park my car, get out and walk down onto the sand standing in front of the waves following their journey back and forth with my eyes. In the past I would find peace staring out at the ocean but not today. Today I'm a jumble of emotions. I probably look ridiculous standing there fully clothed surrounded by the other beachgoers. My mind is shooting unwelcome thoughts in all different directions. Did I really just leave my own daughter's birthday party?

"Anastasia."

 _Of course he followed me._

I hear his voice and turn to face him with my arms across my chest to protect myself and my heart. He looks confused wondering why I just ran out on our daughter's birthday party.

Some part of me knew he would show up, that if I stood in one place long enough he would find me, like you're taught to do when you're lost as a kid. Did I want him to come find me? But they never taught us what to do if both of you are lost and you both end up in the same place waiting. Because the truth is I feel stuck. I can't go back but afraid to go forward too. We're both waiting for something.

"Why did you run off? Kate came to tell me you were upset."

"Is there something you haven't told me?"

"Like what?"

"You tell me."

"Do you want to narrow it down for me?"

"Did you pay for someone to have an abortion? Did you get another girl pregnant as well and force her to get rid of it?"

He looks over my shoulder towards the water before staring into my eyes with his own angry ones.

"Who told you that and no I fucking did not. I mean it wasn't mine."

"Ray did. Explain yourself." I demand.

"Look it was a long time ago. When you left I bought SIP thinking that if you ever returned and wanted your old job back I wanted you to have to come and beg me for it. I wanted to have something to hurt you with like I was hurting at the time. I know it was immature and childish but I was angry. Anyway a new editor called Jack Hyde was hired. He assaulted and attacked his assistant one night when he asked her to work back. Security found her and she pressed charges. She became pregnant and didn't want the baby understandably. When I found out I offered to pay her medical bills. I felt responsible as the owner for putting her in that position to begin with and that's all there was to it."

"That all it was?"

"Yes, Ana. I swear. I felt obligated to help her and in a way she reminded me a bit of you. She was young and passionate about her job and books."

He takes a step closer to me.

"How does Ray know?"

"He knows her father who found the paperwork from the clinic. It had your name on it."

"No wonder he hates me so much."

"I'm such an idiot. I was so quick to accuse you, just like you did me. I thought you were still keeping secrets from me."

"Is that all there is to your running away?"

"What else could there be?"

I don't think I'm going to like what he says next. His eyes are pleading with me.

"I've done all you have asked of me. Are you still punishing me is that it? I've been there for Charlotte, I've put her first and gotten to know her. My family adores her, I've given you space, we've gone to counselling sessions that you have insisted on, I hashed things out with my brother and we're in a good place but I still feel this distance you're putting between us, Ana. You're not even giving us a real chance. Sometimes I think you're going to tell me you want to try again and then you pull back. I'm getting whiplash over here and you probably don't even realise you're doing it. What more can I do?" He begs.

I don't look at him. I close my eyes and shake my head as I cry. The wind drying my tears before they have a real chance to fall. When I reopen then again I look at him and I mean really look at him and see a man who is not whole, who is waiting for something the same as me. I can change that. Do I want to change that? I do but there are so many what if's.

"I'm scared, Christian. I haven't meant to give you mixed signals. This time if we fail then there's no going back. I won't put Charlotte through that. She adores you and would be devastated to have us be a family to have it ripped away from her again."

Before I know it he has me in his arms in a tight hold hugging me and I let him. I wrap my own around his waist and take comfort in his strength and allow myself a moment of weakness pretending everything is fine. I have missed him and I do want to try again, I can finally admit it to myself but I don't know what to do to get us back on track.

"We won't fail, I won't let us. I've learned my lesson and from my mistakes. I've spent too long living without the both of you and I don't want to go back to that." He whispers in my hair.

I remove my head off his chest to look into his stormy grey eyes.

"What do we do now?" I ask him.

He smiles as if he has been waiting for me to ask just that exact question.

"I think I should take you on a first date again."

"You do huh?"

"Absolutely. So, Miss Steele will you have dinner with me next weekend or the one after that?"

"I would like that."

We stand there for a few minutes holding onto each other. I'm afraid that if I let go any chance of future happiness will disappear.

"I really, really want to kiss you." Christian mumbles.

We were always so affectionate and I can imagine how difficult it has been for him to keep his word and act the gentleman.

"Then kiss me."

His eyes widen before he pulls my body even closer to his, touching from thigh to chest, his heat radiating into me, then bringing his head lower to mine where his lips gently touch my own. The spark is there. Immediately, and I need to catch my breath momentarily. As soon as his mouth makes full contact with mine I'm lost. Lost to the past and my feelings for this man. It starts out slow and questioning before becoming heated, our lips moving against each other's. I move my hands to his head where I run my fingers through his hair, reacquainting myself with the softness and feel of it. My breathing and heart rate increases and I need more, I need to feel closer to him. I feel a tear slip out of the corner of my closed eye. Christian deepens it by running his tongue along my bottom lip asking for access which I grant him, accepting the intrusion of his tongue in my mouth. He tastes exactly as I remember. His scent invading me. I'm kissing Christian again, in all the dreams I had of him over the years they never lived up to the reality of what being in his arms and getting kissed by him actually feels like. He ravishes my mouth with his lips and tongue, his teeth nipping my lips along the way here and there before he moves to lower to my throat. I let out a moan of pleasure while my legs are weakening and struggling to keep me upright. "God, baby, I have dreamed of this for so long." I hear him murmur against my neck. Emotions I long since closed off and locked away have come out in full force, every little memory and feeling has come alive all because of this one kiss. He could destroy me so easily again but I need to believe him when he says he won't, I need to believe in us.

We're so caught up in each other that neither one of us notices that the tide has come in as a large wave crashes into our legs the force of it knocking us down. We're soaking wet on our asses laughing.

"Even mother nature is on my side. That kiss certainly swept you off your feet." Christian gets out through his laughter.

"Oh my God, that is so corny."

"Let's get back Charlotte will be wondering where we are and getting impatient to blow the candles on her princess cake."

He helps me up and we walk hand in hand back to my car where Taylor is parked beside me. He raises an eyebrow at the condition we're in curious to know how we ended up soaking wet. Christian gets in the driver's seat of my car turning up the heat to help dry us off and keep the cold out on the drive back.

We see Kate pacing the living room when we get back.

"Thank goodness, Charlie was starting to get upset. Why are you both wet?"

"Never mind. Let's cut this cake. Kate can you get it for me while I quickly change."

Christian and I stand on either side of Charlotte as everyone sings happy birthday to our daughter who is in her element lapping up the attention.

I glance at Christian over Charlotte's head. He's lovingly gazing at her as she blows out her candles. Just maybe it will work out.

 **A/N: Thank you all so much for reading, I love your reviews.**

 **Next chapter will finally reveal what Christian was doing in London for so long.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10**

 **CPOV**

I've been at home in Seattle for the last two weeks since Charlotte's birthday. I am so ecstatic that Ana is giving us another chance and I'm going to do everything in my power to not screw it up and make the both of them happy. However it was almost over before my second chance began.

The party had wound down; only my parents and Ray were left at the house helping clean up. I was fuming at Ray's interference, at him telling Ana about what happened to that poor girl and basically pointing the finger at me so I politely asked to speak to him. We walked out to the front of the house away from the others so as to not be overheard. His hatred makes so much more sense now as well as the things he said me over that long ago phone call.

In no uncertain terms I told him that I didn't appreciate him trying to cause problems where there were none. Ana is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. I also let him know that my daughter's birthday party was not the appropriate place to open his mouth and that he should have come to me. I set him straight on a lot of things he assumed about me and told him to butt out from now on. I don't know what I was expecting from him, he gave me nothing in return, I'm sure Ana will have her own conversation with him about this. He looked me up and down with his hands on his hips, told me to tell Ana he had to go then left. As a father I can understand him wanting to protect his daughter, but he doesn't need to worry about me hurting her again. Only time will prove that to him.

When I walked back inside Ana was waiting for me, my phone in her hand looking troubled.

 _"_ _Here. I'm sorry but Charlotte heard it ringing in the kitchen where you left it and answered it. It was a Melinda with a British accent asking you to call her back." She informs me handing it over._

 _Fuck!_

 _"_ _Thanks."_

 _"_ _Who is she? She seemed very insistent to speak with you."_

 _"_ _No one. Don't worry about it."_

 _Wrong thing to say Grey, I can see her spine stiffen and the anger in her eyes._

 _"_ _You said no more secrets, Christian. Are you hiding something?"_

 _"_ _No! Ana, I promise it's nothing at all. Please trust me."_

 _"_ _Really?" She scoffs crossing her arms over her chest, cocking her head to the side._

 _"_ _Dumb thing to say I know and we still have things to talk about but I swear Ana I'm not going to keep important things from you from now on."_

 _"_ _Don't make me regret this already, Christian. You only get this one chance." She snaps at me walking away._

A couple of days after Charlotte's birthday I received a Google alert on my phone. I clicked on the link to see a photo of Ana and I holding each other on the beach. Some asshole must have recognised me and snapped it. I'm grateful it was just the two of us and not on a day where Charlie was with us. That would have been a shit storm. The caption read 'Seattle's Bachelor Seen Embracing Ex'. At least our location wasn't given away so thank goodness for small mercies I guess. I had to inform Ana about it in case any media came lurking her way. She expected something to come out eventually about the two of us but not so soon, her goal is to keep Charlotte, for lack of a better word, hidden as long as possible which I totally agree with.

I'm heading back down there next week to take Ana out. I'm having so much trouble organising this date. I'm so nervous, I need it to be both fun and perfect, something to show her how serious I am on working this out. Mia has been no help with any ideas so I may have to call my mother but that will be a last resort.

I'm seated behind my desk at GEH, it's very early in the morning, the building is still practically empty except for a few employees and security. I need to finish going over some new contracts before seeing Ros later today to give her my decisions on them. It's far too quiet at home, the apartment is empty and dull, every time I close my eyes to sleep I picture Ana and Charlotte and wonder what they're doing.

My mobile rings, picking it up I see it's Ana calling me.

"Ana?" I cheerfully answer.

"Daddy!"

As soon as I hear her tiny distressed voice my entire body is on alert.

"Charlotte, what's wrong sweetheart?"

She's crying and I can hardly understand her.

"Slow down princess, what's the matter, where's mummy?"

I hear her staggered breathing as she attempts to explain it to me.

"Mummy fell down in the kitchen and she won't get up. Daddy I'm scared."

Fuck, Ana! What the hell has happened, has she just fainted or is it something else. Now I'm afraid too.

"Okay, don't be scared, you're my brave girl. Where's nana, did you try calling her?"

"Grandma's not here she went away for a holiday. Daddy…" She continues to sob over the phone. I'm freaking out and so far away.

What do I do? This is why I should be there or better yet they should be here, at home where they belong. Ryan is still in Georgia but he's a stranger to her, she won't go with him and be comfortable. O'Donnell, she knows him, I'll have to call him I have no other choice.

"Listen to daddy, can you see mummy's chest moving up and down?"

I hear a whole heap of shuffling before she comes back.

"Yes."

I let out the breath I didn't realise I was holding.

"I'm going to call an ambulance so the doctors can come and take mummy to the hospital to help her and you know mummy's boss Mr James?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm going to call him as well to come over to the house to get you and take you to the hospital to be with mummy. He'll take care of you until I get there. I'm on my way sweetheart. I'll be there as soon as I can. Is mummy bleeding anywhere?"

"No, she's just not moving. What if she doesn't wake up?"

"She'll wake up, don't you worry about that, mummy is strong and would never leave you. Can you sing me a song while we wait for the ambulance? Please. I want to hear your beautiful voice, sing me your favourite song at the moment."

I pick up my landline while I have Charlie on the mobile calling an ambulance to go over to the house. I give them the address and as much detail as I can about Ana and tell them that my five year old daughter is there alone with her. Next I call Ana's boss.

"Hello?"

"Mr O'Donnell, this is Christian Grey."

"Mr Grey. This is a surprise, what can I do for you?"

"Listen, I don't have a lot of time to explain but I need you to go over to Ana's house. Something's happened and Charlotte called me all in a panic. Ana's fallen in the kitchen and I think she's unconscious, I've called an ambulance but she's alone and afraid. She knows you, can you please go over there and take care of her, take her along to the hospital until I arrive."

"Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can. But if you don't mind me asking, why exactly did Charlotte call you?"

I take a deep breath and tell him the truth.

"I'm Charlotte's father. It's a long story but there you have it."

"I see. Well then, Mr Grey, we'll be waiting for you. Don't worry, I'll look after her."

"Thank you."

I hang up and get back to Charlotte singing along with her as I run out of my office to Taylor who is sitting in the security room. He sees me in a panic and stands up, I gesture for him to follow me which he does without question.

"Charlotte I'm on my way, I'm going to go get on a plane right now and I will be there before you know it. Mr O'Donnell is on his way so open the door for him when he gets there okay."

"Okay daddy. Please hurry."

"I love you, Charlotte, so much, everything is going to be just fine. I need to hang up now so I can go get on the plane."

"Okay, daddy." She hiccups.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! I feel like punching something.

"Get to the airport as fast as you can, Taylor I don't care how many cameras catch us speeding."

There is no way the jet will be ready to leave so soon so my best bet will be a commercial flight. I only hope there's one leaving soon.

I jump out of the car and run through the airport to the counter. Luck is on my side with a flight due to leave in forty minutes time. I beg them to let me on, I have no luggage and it won't delay the flight. They can see the worry and panic on my face and kindly give me the ticket telling me to hurry to the gate. I'm recognisable to most people in the city and no security risk.

The entire flight over all I can picture is Ana lying on the kitchen floor and Charlotte crying over her, not knowing what's going on or what to do. Just like me and my mother. I remember sitting buy here cold body and the fear of not knowing what was wrong with her, the hunger and worry. No I won't think like that. This is not the same fucked up situation.

What caused her to collapse? All I have are questions, the only thing I know for certain is that they belong with me. I'm bringing them home somehow.

Landing in Savannah I grab the first taxi I see and rush over to the hospital. I called Ryan earlier to follow the ambulance to the hospital, I call him again to let him know I've landed and am on my way there. He lets me know where he is situated and that he has eyes on Charlotte.

I run inside and see O'Donnell and Charlotte seated in a couple of those uncomfortable blue plastic seats along the wall.

"DADDY!" She shouts when she sees me and runs full force into my arms.

I gather her up to me, tightly holding onto her, my heart beginning to calm down now that I'm here and she's in my arms. Her little body wracked with sobs as she cries into my shoulder.

"I'm here baby girl, I'm here. Let's go find mummy." I whisper in her ear while rubbing her back.

I walk up to James and shake his hand.

"Thank you, I don't know how I can repay you for helping me out."

"Don't mention it, there's no need. I'm glad you called me. We've just had some lunch in the cafeteria so she shouldn't be hungry. My wife was here with our girls earlier to try and distract her for a while. She's been upset but very brave." I nod at him in understanding.

"Where's Ana?"

He directs me to the floor she's on and Charlie and I take the elevator up and to the nurse's station asking about her. I'm given her room number and run over. I need to see her with my own eyes. I need to know she's okay. I step into her room and see she's asleep or I think she's asleep. I walk closer to her bed. She is laying on her right side looking so pale with a drip attached to her hand. I take her hand in mine feeling its warmth.

"See, Charlie. Mummy is fine just sleeping."

I don't know which of the two of us I'm trying to reassure more.

I feel Charlotte grow heavy on me meaning she has fallen asleep. Poor thing must have crashed from all the stress and fear of the situation. I make my way over to the small couch in the room and lay her down covering her with a blanket. I kiss the curls on her head and go back over to Ana's side, sitting on the chair beside her bed I take her hand again and cry, letting out all the emotions of the past few hours. I had no idea what I was going to find when I got here.

Damn it Anastasia.

I hear a doctor walk in so I quickly wipe my face and stand up.

"Doctor, how is she. What's wrong with her?" I begin questioning him.

"She's going to be fine. It's a bout of pneumonia. She just needs antibiotics and bed rest. I imagine she was pushing herself too much which caused her to get very weak and faint. I'd like to keep her here for a couple of days before releasing her to go home. For now let her sleep until she wakes."

Pneumonia? I didn't even know she was that sick, why didn't she mention anything, she told me it was just a slight cough and cold from getting wet on the beach that day.

"Thank you, doctor."

He checks her chart and monitors before leaving.

Looking at her still form in the bed it could have been so much worse and she'd never know how I truly feel so I start speaking, needing to let it all out, I've been holding onto it for far too long.

"I don't know if you can hear me but I'm sorry, Ana. More than you will ever know but I need to tell you something. I promise to have this conversation again with you when you're awake but I can't hold it in anymore. I haven't been able to find a good time to tell you this and I've been afraid to open up. You may have thought I didn't care or think about you all these years but I did. The truth is you were the only thing that kept me going.

"The biggest mistake and regret of my life was losing you and in turn Charlotte. I have wished a hundred times to be able to go back to that moment and do it differently. I love you, Anastasia. I love our daughter.

"I would have been here a long time ago if it wasn't for my accident. You wanted to know why it took me so long to come to you. I was hit by a truck.

"It's been over two years ago now but, I wanted to come to you sooner and I tried. The day I found out that my vasectomy had reversed itself and realised my colossal fuck up when it came to you I was devastated. I was going to find you and beg for your forgiveness but then I had an emergency at the London office. I tried everything to get of not going but I had no other choice. I was going to fly there, sort it out quickly and come to you. After my last meeting I called Ray. It didn't go well as you can imagine. I was upset and drinking, I wasn't thinking clearly and rushed out of the hotel building I was staying in. I wanted to get on a plane. I was on my way to you and our daughter, I was going to find you and come to you, but fate wasn't on my side, I wasn't watching where I was going and got run over.

"I stayed in London to hide and have treatment. I was too proud to show any weakness to anybody. Only two people knew what happened to me, Ros and Taylor. Ros kept GEH going, I helped her whenever I could but I owe her so much I could never repay her. I had to have surgery and rehabilitation therapy. I was in a wheelchair for over a year. I didn't know if I was ever going to walk again, I was scared, Ana but at the same time refused to let you or anyone see me in that condition. I know I was foolish and selfish. Eventually I had to learn all over again how to use my body. I paid a whole lot of money to keep it out of the papers over there. My family don't know I've kept it hidden from them as well, they just assumed I didn't want to come home and deal with everything.

"Melinda, the lady who called me is my physiotherapist. She was calling to check up on me and see how I was feeling and if I was continuing my exercises because of the metal rods in my spine."

I place my head on the bed and close my eyes, gripping her hand even tighter after kissing her knuckles.

"You and Charlotte mean the world to me. You're not ever getting rid of me. My life has been hell without you. You are my other half, my better half."

 _London_

 _I hate this waiting. Waiting to get home, waiting to see and talk to Ana, waiting to meet my child. I have felt on edge the entire time I've been in this city. I am so ready to leave London behind. Would she be willing to listen to me if I just called to talk to her on the phone and explain myself, except I don't have her number and no way to contact her. I know my brother won't help me if I bothered to call him._

 _I need to do something. This waiting is making me nuts. I need to start on fixing things. We've lost so much time because of my stupidity._

 _I am so desperate that I call Ray hoping he still has the same phone number. If anyone knows where Ana is it will be him. I'm not holding my breath that he won't just hang up on me but I need to try._

 _"_ _Hello." His gruff voice comes on the line._

 _"_ _Is this Ray Steele?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, who's this?"_

 _I inhale and exhale before making myself known._

 _"_ _This is Christian Grey."_

 _"_ _What he fuck do you want?" He shouts, automatically becoming irate._

 _"_ _I was wanting to speak with Anastasia. You have every right to hate me but I was hoping you could give me her phone number so I could contact her." I'm sweating like a nervous teenager._

 _"_ _Haven't you done enough? No way. I take it you make a habit out of getting girls pregnant and abandoning them."_

 _"_ _I don't know what you're talking about. Ray please I need to speak to her, it's important, I need to tell her I was wrong."_

 _"_ _There is no way in hell I'm helping you, stay away from my daughter."_

 _With that he hangs up on me. Great!_

 _XXXXX_

 _I've spent the last hour drinking, staring at a blank wall in my hotel room, running through every mistake I have ever made in my life. I have no one. I now understand what it truly means to be alone. All this time I thought that was what I wanted, to be left alone but it's not._

 _I can't sit here anymore I need to get home. I'll have one of my guys track her down by the time I get back. I get up and start packing my bag slightly swaying. I must have had more to drink than I realised. I see the ticket stub from the drycleaner across the road on my bedside. Shit I forgot all about it. I need to go collect it, I still have time before they close. I could have just as easily left it with the hotel to launder but I pay them enough money as it is and I prefer to support small local businesses when I can._

 _I leave the hotel, the alcohol really setting in now and blurring my vision. I'm looking at my phone preparing to call Welch to track Ana down when I become distracted by the only photo I have kept of Anastasia on my screen. I'm coming baby._

 _I don't pay attention to where I'm stepping until I hear the high pitched sound of car horns blowing and the screech of tyres. I lift my head to see headlights coming straight for me. I have no time to move out of the way. The impact flings me at least ten metres away before hitting the pavement._

 _I land with the sound of bones breaking in my ears, people screaming and the familiar voice of Taylor calling out my name._

 _"_ _Mr Grey! CHRISTIAN!"_

 _That is the last thing I hear before my world goes black._

 _XXXXX_

 _I wake up in the hospital. Everything is fuzzy. What the hell happened? I try to sit myself up but can't._

 _I attempt to look down at my body and notice the neck brace I have on preventing me doing so. I start to panic because I can't move, in fact I cannot feel my legs at all. Oh my god I can't move. No, no, no. This is not happening to me. NO! I scream out for a doctor._

 _One finally enters my room with a clipboard, wearing an ugly green coloured coat. He looks too young to even be a doctor._

 _"_ _Mr Grey. Good to see you awake."_

 _"_ _What's wrong with me, why can't I move?" I demand._

 _"_ _Do you remember being in an accident?" He asks while shining his fucking little pen light in my eyes blinding me._

 _I think back to where I was before waking up here and recall the car lights heading towards me._

 _"_ _I think I was hit by a car."_

 _"_ _Correct. You were brought in about 3 hours ago. Initial tests show an injury and damage to your thoracic spinal cord which essentially means the middle of the spine. We have you on a drip for the pain and you may experience headaches._

 _"_ _We need you to stay as still as possible which is why you have the collar on your neck to minimise any more damage. In the meantime we need to wait for swelling to go down so we can perform further scans and see what we're dealing with, regardless though you will require surgery to repair the damage to your spine."_

 _"_ _I can't feel my legs. Will I walk again?" That's all I really want to know._

 _He goes to stand at the edge of the bed, lifting the covers off my feet then pushing a metal prong against them touching the skin of my soles and lower legs._

 _"_ _Can you feel that?"_

 _I will myself to sense something but it's no use._

 _"_ _No, nothing." I tell him._

 _"_ _It's too early to make a call like that at this time but it's not impossible. We must take this day by day. I'm going to get a neurosurgeon to come in and talk to you shortly."_

 _XXXXX_

 _I've been in this hospital for a week so far and I'm climbing the walls. I can't take it. I refuse to speak to anyone except Taylor and that turned into an argument. He keeps bothering me, insisting he calls and informs my family of what happened but I refuse to let him._

 _"_ _This is my decision. I don't need them here fussing. Do you understand me Taylor? They are not to know. You work for me and follow my orders."_

 _I am so frustrated with the doctors, not that it's their fault but I need someone to take my anger out on. They are telling me nothing good or new, only that these things take time and I'm lucky that it's not worse. How the fuck could it have been worse, I can't fucking walk. I'm confined to a fucking hospital bed._

 _I cannot even use the bathroom and need to have a bag attached to my bladder. It's humiliating._

 _Ana…I can't go to her now. I'm stuck here. I'm so sorry Ana._

 _XXXXX_

 _Taylor has been flying out here once a month. He found me a place to live once I was finally discharged from the hospital, ensured I had the appropriate nurses on hand and a local CPO with me. All I do between my rehabilitation sessions is read emails which Ros sends to keep me in the loop and attend the odd conference call. Depression has set in, however I refuse to take any sort of medication for it, I will not be that person who relies on drugs to make themselves feel better. I push myself to get up and move when nobody is around with very little success so far but there is hope._

 _I had to have two surgeries to my back and have metal rods placed in me. Since I was allowed out of the hospital I attend physical rehabilitation three times a week. A couple months ago I got a tingling sensation in my right foot. I cannot describe the excitement I experienced in that moment. I know it is only a small improvement and it's slow going but it's something and I'm not giving up._

 _I've had my parents on my back about going home, saying they miss me. Each call ends with me being a major prick and coming up with another excuse as to why I need to stay here._

 _This will not beat me. No matter how long it takes, I'm getting my life and girl back._

 **A/N** ** _:_** **Thank you to everyone reading, reviewing and following this story.**

 **I realised that I forgot all about Christmas in the story so I've gone back to change their wedding date from July to June.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11**

 **APOV**

I open my heavy lidded eyes in the quiet hospital room to Christian's head on the bed near my hip, his mess of copper hair sticking out in all sorts of directions. That's one thing that hasn't changed about him, that hair of his can never be tamed. My right hand is being held in his own. He must have been holding onto it for a while because my palm is sweaty.

I wasn't expecting to find him at my bedside but he's here.

I take my time to really observe him without fear of getting caught. I really look at his face which is a little older, he has a few more tiny wrinkles around the eyes, his hair is still the same but I notice a few small gray hairs around his temples, his chin and jaw are more angular than I remember them being, he's still a gorgeous specimen to look at and after all this time he still wants me. I'm having a hard time believing it myself but I'm willing to try again. If it doesn't work out for whatever reason I don't think I would survive it a second time however I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what if.

 _You needed him and he's here._

Knowing him he probably dropped everything and jumped on a plane to get here. He has done so much to prove to me how much he has changed and wants this, wants us to be a family.

As I stare at him a lump forms in my throat. What would have happened if he hadn't come back into my life? Who would have Charlotte called, how long would I have been laying on the kitchen floor?

I heard him crying at my bedside and it tore me up inside. I wanted to comfort him and take away his pain but sleep dragged me back down.

"Christian." I call out with my hoarse voice and pull my hand out of his grasp, running it through his hair gently to wake him up.

I have to call his name twice more before he opens his eyes and lifts his head. It takes him a couple of seconds to become aware of his surroundings.

"You're awake, how are you feeling?" He moves his body to the edge of the bed and leans closer to kiss me first on my lips then on the forehead.

"My chest hurts but fine. How did you know?" I ask then begin coughing.

He helps me lift the bed up so I'm upright and hands me some water.

"Charlotte called me crying after finding you on the floor. I called an ambulance to come to the house then your boss so she wouldn't be on her own with complete strangers then I flew straight down here.

"Where is she now?" I ask worried.

He points over to the couch across the room where our little girl is fast asleep.

"Can you bring her over to me please." I need to have her in my arms.

I watch as he walks over then carefully lifts her up in his arms before gently laying our daughter right next to me. I wrap one arm around her small body as I move her hair back and off her little face, what must she have gone through for those few hours.

 _I'm so sorry baby girl._

"I hate myself for scaring her like that."

"She's not the only one you scared. Don't you ever scare me like that again. Why didn't you tell me how bad you were feeling? I should spank you for hiding how sick you were. God, Ana that was the longest flight of my life not knowing what the hell was happening to you and Charlotte."

"I'm sorry." I avoid looking at him and keep my eyes on Charlie. What else can I say?

"What happened this morning?"

I cough once more and have another sip of my water before answering.

"I got up in the morning and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I started having a really bad coughing fit, felt lightheaded and then passed out I assume, I can't really remember much after that until waking up briefly here. Thank you for calling James. He made sure the doctors and nurses knew to tell me he had Charlotte with him."

"I think we should thank Charlotte for being such a smart little girl and calling me. Anyway the doctor I spoke to earlier said you'll need to stay here for a couple of days."

I groan and throw my head back onto the pillows.

"Really?" I complain.

I hate nothing more than being in hospital. What am I going to do about Charlotte? I'm about to try arguing for Christian to get me home sooner but he shuts me down before I get the chance to say anything.

"Yes, Anastasia, you're staying here and following doctor's orders. Don't worry because I'm staying. I'll be at the house with Charlotte until you get home and then as long as you need me to until you're better."

"No, Christian I can't ask you to do that. What about work, you can't stay away for so long."

I start coughing again.

"See, this is exactly why. You need help and your mother is away. I'm not leaving the two of you on your own. I'm staying and that's that."

I smile at him in gratitude. Who would have thought Christian Grey playing nurse and babysitter.

Charlotte wakes up and becomes upset upon remembering where she is and why. I take her in my lap rubbing her back up and down to calm her, reassuring her that I'm fine and there's nothing to worry about.

"I heard you were such a brave girl. Daddy told me what you did. You're my special hero do you know that?"

"You sure are. Maybe we need to get you your own superhero cape." Christian jokes getting a giggle out of her.

The three of us spend some time together until Charlotte begins to tire.

"It's getting late so I'm going to take Charlotte home. Rest up. We'll be back in the morning. Come on, Charlie say goodnight to mummy."

She looks at me surprised, her eyes welling with tears again.

"Mummy aren't you coming home?" She stares at me with her big, gray sad eyes.

She wraps her arms around my neck not letting go when Christian tries to pick her up off the bed.

"Not tonight baby girl. I need to stay here so the medicine can work and make me better. Be a good girl for daddy okay and I'll see you tomorrow."

She eventually goes into her father's arms laying her head on his shoulder. I never thought I would ever see them together this way. They have both taken to each other so easily and it's all I could have hoped for her, to be able to have her father and trust him and be with him if I was ever not around for whatever reason.

"Do you need anything?" Christian asks.

"Some clothes and toiletries would help. Oh, and my book on the bedside table please."

"You got it." He winks.

I kiss Charlie one more time and Christian gives me a kiss goodbye on my cheek then they start heading out.

"Christian!" I call out before he leaves.

He turns around expectantly.

"We…I…" How do I start this…There's so much I want to say but now is not the right time or place.

"Never mind. Good night."

 **CPOV**

I had a very restless night. I dreamt I was stuck back in London and had trouble getting back to sleep. I was also keeping an ear out in case Charlie woke up in the middle of the night plus trying to think through and plan what I'm going to do while Ana is ill and not here. I glance at my phone noting it's only 6:30 in the morning.

After spending time with Ana at the hospital I brought Charlotte home, ordered food from the nearby Italian restaurant, gave her dinner and a quick shower before snuggling up with her on the couch to watch a movie. She was fast asleep before it was half way through. I spent the night in Ana's bed, her scent on the pillow making old and enjoyable memories pop up and my dick stand to attention, but the last thing I felt comfortable doing was jacking off in her bed with Charlotte across the hall.

I catch up on my emails for the next half an hour. Afterwards I check on Charlie who is only beginning to stir so I leave her until she's ready to get up and make my way into the kitchen to attempt to prepare breakfast for us.

First things first, coffee.

I open every cabinet door until I find the coffee, bowls, cups and cutlery. I found a box of Rice Bubbles cereal and bread for toast so that will have to do I suppose.

I'm pulling the milk out of the fridge when Charlotte drags herself in wearing her yellow heart patterned pyjamas and carrying her favourite teddy bear which she calls Dave, a grumpy, sleeping look on her small face. Her hair is a mess sticking out everywhere.

"Morning baby girl. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," She shrugs. "Can I watch cartoons?"

 _Maybe she's not a morning person._

"Okay but only for a few minutes then you need to have breakfast."

She leaves the kitchen and I hear the television being turned on.

I make my coffee and sit at the dining table then call Ros to explain what's happening and that I won't be at the office for the rest of the week at least. She's as understanding as she can be considering I didn't even tell her I was leaving the office yesterday let alone the state. My next call is to my mother to let her know that I'm back in Georgia and why. I also ask her if there is anything I should be doing to help Ana recover quicker. She tells me besides Ana taking antibiotics all I can do is ensure she rests and stays hydrated and that it can take one to three weeks to fully recover. Lastly I call Ryan to go shopping for me for clothes since I brought nothing with me.

I pour Charlie's cereal and milk in her red plastic bowl, place it on the table and call her in to come eat.

She takes a seat at the table, looks at her breakfast, pouts and crosses her arms.

"What's wrong?" I enquire.

"I don't want this."

"Well I'm sorry but this is what you're having."

"I want French toast."

 _Really kid? French toast?_

"I didn't make you French toast."

"Mummy makes me French toast. I want mummy."

"Mummy is not here. Eat up so we can go see her at the hospital."

"No!"

I take three deep breaths in and out and count to ten before answering.

"If you don't eat your breakfast you're going to stay hungry. I'm not going to argue with you Charlotte."

"Fine. You eat it then."

She pushes the bowl away from in front of her almost spilling it all over the table.

Where the hell did this attitude come from?

"Charlotte Grey you will not speak to me like that. If you're going to be rude you can go to your room and not come out until you're ready to eat your cereal."

"My name is Charlotte Steele." She actually talks back to me before running off to her room.

Okay then. Her mother and I are going to have to have a chat about her surname eventually.

I feel terrible for yelling at her. It's the first time I have done so. She's missing Ana, yesterday was a traumatic day for her. I need to cut her some slack. If she wants French toast then maybe we can go out for breakfast instead.

When I open her bedroom door to speak to her I'm met with a mess. There are clothes and toys all over the place. How the hell did she make such a mess in so short a time? She's sitting on the floor surrounded by large pink and white blocks she is playing with to build a tower.

"Charlotte why are there so many clothes on the floor?"

"It must have been the rats." She answers deadpanned.

Excuse me? The what now? Rats?

"What are you talking about, what rats?"

"The baby rats made the mess."

 _Okay I'll play along._

"Is that so? And where did they come from?"

I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the door jamb, this should be interesting.

"The electricity holes in my room." She tells me pointing to the power point under her window.

"Really?"

"Yep. They're really small and came in and pulled down all the clothes then went into the kitchen to steal some cheese. You didn't see them because they're very sneaky, sometimes invisible."

I blow out a breath and rub my hands over my face. I'm tired already and it's only been an hour. She's creative, I'll give her that.

I get down on the carpet to sit beside her then sit her on my lap to get her undivided attention.

"Listen sweetheart, I know you miss mummy and were very scared yesterday but I promise she's okay and will be home in a couple of days but that doesn't mean you can be naughty and not listen to me because I'm going to be right here looking after you. Until then can we work as a team because Daddy was scared too and the truth is I've never made French toast before."

"You haven't." She says with wonder.

"Nope. Can you show me how?"

XXXXX

By the time we get to the hospital it's eleven o'clock and I have never felt so flustered and out of my depth before. Facing a boardroom is a piece of cake compared to dressing and trying to feed a child.

I left the kitchen in a mess from my attempt to follow Charlotte's instructions on French toast. In the end I said fuck it and we went out for pancakes instead.

After giving up on breakfast it was time to dress her which in itself was another battle. She insisted on dressing herself so I left her to it going to check on her five minutes later. Charlie's socks didn't match, she was testing me, seeing how far she can push me so I let her wear the two different coloured socks, one red, the other orange with her pink runners, yellow shorts and purple t-shirt. She's a mini rainbow. Her hair is in uneven, lopsided pigtails which she had to have.

I walk into Ana's room with Charlotte in one arm and Ana's bag in my other hand.

Ana starts laughing as soon as she sees us.

"So I take it the morning went well?"

I drop Charlie on the bed allowing her to climb onto Ana's lap.

I let out a breath and fall back into the chair.

"Don't ask."

I have such an extreme appreciation for Ana dealing with this and doing so much on her own for so long. She's super woman.

"I don't know if I can survive tonight on my own, this morning was horrible." I groan.

"Welcome to parenthood." She chuckles.

 **APOV**

I have never been so happy to be home. The boredom in that hospital room was killing me, there is only so much time I can spend reading and sleeping. I was allowed to leave this afternoon with the strict instructions of resting and taking it easy from the doctor.

I am so grateful for Christian being here, looking after Charlotte even though there have been a few bumps and learning curves for him. I spoke to my mother the other day, she was ready to cut her vacation short and come home but I assured that everything was fine, Christian was here and besides he needs this. He needs the practice and responsibility of looking after her on his own, up until now it's been visits and fun stuff and Charlotte needs to realise she can't wrap her father around her little finger and get away with everything. He may not like having to discipline her but it's necessary.

He gets me settled on the couch with pillows and blankets, fussing like a mother hen.

"I'm fine, Christian."

"Now that you're home I was thinking of staying at a hotel if you think you'll manage in the evenings."

"Why?"

"You don't exactly have the space or a spare room, Ana and I definitely won't fit on your couch."

I shake my head at him. I won't hear of it, it feels wrong kicking him out after all he's done. We can work around the sleeping arrangements. In fact I would feel better knowing he's here if I can't get up to see to Charlie.

He could sleep in Charlotte's room and Charlie with me but I don't want to risk making her sick too.

"How about you take my bed with Charlie and I'll sleep in her room." I suggest.

"I don't know, Ana." He hesitates.

"Please, Christian. I want you to stay."

He is looking a bit uncomfortable and rubs the back of his neck.

"I mean is that appropriate, for me to sleep with her in the same bed. I'm not sure if I should."

"It is perfectly fine, Christian." I think it's sweet he is worrying so much.

That night as I'm saying goodnight to Charlotte, she gets all teary eyed when I hug her clinging onto my arm when I move away.

"What's wrong?"

"I never want to lose you." She sniffles.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere. Are you?"

"No."

"See, neither one of us is leaving. We are going to be together for a long time. Forever and ever. Especially in here." I tell her as I point to her heart.

"But what about when I'm a grown up?"

"What about it?"

"You'll be old."

 _Thanks Charlotte._

"So?"

"Well old people die." She answers like it's common knowledge.

Why is she thinking about this stuff, perhaps the image and trauma of finding me on the kitchen floor has affected her more than she has let on. I pull her closer into my body.

"Sweetheart, that is not going to happen for a very, very long time. I promise you. I'll be around until I'm a hundred. Hey, I'm a grown up and I still have my mum. Do you think grandma is old?"

She thinks about it for a moment.

"No, but how old is she?"

"48."

"That's old," She whines.

I need to remember to pass on this little conversation to my mother.

"Okay, it's time to sleep, I want you to think and dream of happy things, like how much I love you and what you would like to do tomorrow with daddy."

XXXXX

A week has passed since Christian brought me home from the hospital.

I called to thank James for taking care of Charlotte and also about how long I'll be away from work. He was very understanding and told me that things have slowed down coming up to the holidays so he insisted I take from now until the new year off and to look after myself. I couldn't thank him enough and hated leaving him without anyone to help him but he maintained that he'll manage.

Charlotte has loved having her daddy here for so long and they have spent hours playing and after dinner it is movie time for the three of us. She has him sitting there watching every Disney princess movie there is, in fact he actually learned how to make Charlotte's favourite French toast perfectly after that first disaster. I wonder what he is thinking about this domestic family life, is he happy being here and not working, he hasn't complained once but what if this life is not what he ever dreamt it to be. Christian has always thrived in his world of mergers and acquisitions. I'm being stupid, I shouldn't stress over something that is probably nothing but doubts in my own head only.

As much as I have been enjoying Christian's company there are times where he has been driving me nuts, like an annoying nurse, ensuring I take my antibiotics on time, three times a day and if he happens to be out he calls to double check I've taken them. I roll my eyes knowing he can't see me at those times. I'm a grown woman for crying out loud.

I myself am feeling a lot better but not quite yet back to perfect health with my cough lingering. Christian has been finding excuses to touch me such as offering back rubs or when he brings me a cup of tea his fingers brushing against mine, not that I'm complaining. He is making it hard to resist him though and I'm sick but on the other hand we need to take our time, I can't jump back in the sack with him so quickly. He'll think everything is okay and back to normal when it is so far from the case. Each morning he wakes up looking all delicious and sleep rumpled walking around in nothing but pyjama bottoms only. He's doing it on purpose I know he is, doing all he can to weaken my resolve.

He never misses an opportunity to kiss me whether it be first thing every morning or last thing at night. Thinking back to our mini make out session on the couch a couple of nights ago makes my skin feel hot, he had me underneath him with his leg between mine. I could feel his erection digging into me, boy is he bigger than I remembered. We were getting hot and heavy, his hands were everywhere until my coughing fit stopped us. Having his body on top of mine again was heavenly, even through layers of clothes between us I could feel every hard muscle moving against me.

I can't deny I've liked having him here. We have spent so much time talking in the evenings that it started to feel like old times. One night we watched home videos of Charlotte I had recorded such as when she took her first steps or sitting in her high chair eating and making an adorable mess.

"I wish I was able to be here sooner." He sadly told me.

"I know. We can't change it. You're here now, you weren't too late to get to know your daughter. She loves you, you know she does." I truly believe that. Even though it took him a while, even if it took him another five years, it would never have been too late to get to know his daughter and be a part of her life. The two of us however would have been a different story.

I'm sitting on the couch reading while Christian tucks Charlie in and reads to her. When he finally comes out he picks up my feet, sits on the couch and places them in his lap rubbing them.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking after my girlfriend."

"Who is this girlfriend, have I met her?" I joke.

He blushes and then I see his face change, as if he is concentrating too hard on something but can't come up with an answer.

"Listen, I've loved spending all this time together and I know I said that I'm willing to give us another chance and go out on dates but I can't just jump straight back into how it was before Christian. You understand that don't you. I appreciate everything you have done for me this past week, please be patient with me."

He puts my feet down then turns his body to face me better.

"Of course, baby. No rush. Anyway we need to talk about something."

"Okay? Sounds serious." He has me curious.

"You know I'm happy to stay here as long as you need me to but the thing is Ros called me earlier, she needs to fly out to one of our shipping yards in Asia so I need to get back to Seattle. I want you and Charlotte to fly back with me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because that's where I need to be. I'll be there and you'll be here on your own."

"Your point being?"

"Look at what happened here, Anastasia. You had pneumonia and not taking care of yourself. What if it was worse? What if you hurt yourself when you fell and were bleeding? What if she didn't call me and you were left laying there for hours on end. I can't deal with that Ana. I need to know you're both safe. You're still not fully recovered and your mother is not due back for another five days." He fires back.

"There would have been a bit of a mess to clean up then off the kitchen floor." I hiss.

"You think your health is a joking matter?"

"You're overreacting. We're fine. I've been doing this on my own for a while now."

He hangs and shakes his head. Okay, even I'll admit that was a low blow.

"Do you think I want to risk losing you again? I was on that plane not knowing what I was going to find when I landed. You can't begin to imagine the terror I felt. Being here with the two of you has been incredible. I'm usually alone in that apartment of mine and missing you. Okay so the situation is not exactly ideal. What's so wrong with me wanting you both to come home with me? I also don't want to miss anymore of her life than I have to."

"I apologise and you're right I don't know how you felt when Charlotte called you but for the time being our life is here, Christian and you're not going to miss anything. I'll make sure of it."

 _Compromise Ana. Do this for him._

"How about we come back with you for a week or two until I'm fully recovered. We'll stay at Escala with you considering it's almost Christmas. We can spend it together, give Charlotte a wonderful holiday then come home after new year."

I see his shoulders slump in defeat, it's all I'm willing to give right now so he either takes it or leaves it. I'm not uprooting our whole lives back to Seattle just because he's afraid. We still don't know if this second time around is going to go anywhere.

"Okay, fine. I'll make the arrangements." With that he stands and walks away.

 **A/N: That rat story was told to me by my 7 year old when his room was messy so I just had to use it.**

 **Whether Ana heard him talking or not will be reveled next chapter.**

 **Thank you for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12**

 **APOV**

We're leaving tonight headed for Seattle, I spent last night packing enough clothing for Charlotte and myself for a couple of weeks. She is over the moon that we'll be going to stay at her father's house for Christmas. I'm worried about when the time comes for us to return back here how she will take being separated from him after having the both of us together for so long. What if he spoils her so much over the holidays she won't want to leave? I mean, I know that this is the first holiday he's spending with her and will obviously want to make it memorable, I can't exactly tell him not to go too crazy can I.

Two days ago I decided on what I'm giving Christian on Christmas morning. It's something special to prove to him that we're moving forward. I only hope it arrives in time.

Christian said his plane will be ready to take off at five o'clock this afternoon so we still had the whole day to kill. The weather today was actually a beautiful warm and sunny day so he suggested we go spend a couple of hours down at the beach, in fact he wouldn't take no for an answer insisting the fresh air will do me good too, it's not really swimming weather but Charlotte loves playing in the sand and it will get us out.

I'm laying out on a sun lounger on the sand half under an umbrella watching the two of them building sand castles near the shore and sneakily taking photos with my phone. Christian is covered in sand without a care in the world, there's even some in his hair. It's the sweetest sight. He's turned out to be a truly amazing father, more than I ever expected from him considering our situation. Perhaps it was always meant to turn out this way, to give us both the time we needed to mature.

I keep thinking back to when I was in the hospital and Christian was there at my bedside. I am positive I heard him crying but I also know I heard him talking although I can't one hundred percent for sure say if he actually said all those things or if I dreamt it.

As I'm lost in my own mind Charlotte has filled up a bucket of water and is walking back to Christian, wobbling all over the place trying to not spill it. Of course being my child she trips over her own feet, the bucket goes flying out of her hands, tipping the water all over Christian. He is absolutely drenched. She freezes on her hands and knees looking at him waiting for his reaction. He starts laughing, a deep laugh which gets Charlie belly laughing too, soon the three of us are laughing, Christian wipes the water out of his eyes and hair with his fingers before removing his wet t-shirt.

I'm admiring the muscles rippling on his arms, shoulder and back as he moves, all that golden skin on display. That's when I see them, the scars on his back. There is one large scar running up and down the middle of his spine and a few little white ones along the side. Oh my God, it's true, what I heard, it has to be, those are surgery scars. Tears are falling before I can stop them. My heart is aching for what he must have gone through.

Christian walks up the beach to where I am grabbing a towel to dry himself and sees the tears running down my cheeks which I wasn't fast enough to wipe away. His face becomes worried so he sits beside me.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

He wipes my tears away with his thumbs.

"Your scars."

"Oh," he hesitates, not saying anything. "Umm…"

"I heard what you said in the hospital, while I was half asleep, I mean I only heard bits and pieces but I can put most of it together."

He looks down at his feet.

"Why haven't you said anything all week?"

"I honestly didn't know how to bring it up and I was afraid that I had dreamed it and it wasn't real. Perhaps I was hoping it wasn't true."

"How much did you hear?"

"That you tried to call Ray and that you had an accident. There's more isn't there considering the scars on your back?"

"Yes. A whole lot more."

"Are you in any pain?"

"No. Just the usual back pain here and there and sometimes if the weather is really cold my bones hurt."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this earlier? You've had months, Christian."

He looks over to Charlotte who's busy digging a hole with her spade.

"I didn't know how to tell you. What was the best way to bring it up? At first you were so angry at me, barely being able to stand being near me. I don't think you were ready to sit and listen to me."

That may be true but I'm still upset with him keeping this. How many more secrets are there? I was beginning to think we were finally getting to a good place.

"You were still keeping things from me."

"No, not intentionally, I was always going to tell you. Don't start putting walls up, Ana, please. We need to talk, I know we do and we will but can we do it later, let's enjoy the rest of the day with our daughter. I'll tell you everything that happened on the plane."

"I'll agree to that but only to not ruin Charlotte's day but you need to tell me everything, Christian."

The last thing I want is to be made to feel foolish once more.

I leave him sitting on the lounger and join Charlie in the sand.

XXXXX

We're in the air flying back to Seattle. From the time we left the beach until we boarded the plane I've been mentally preparing myself to hear whatever Christian is going to tell me. I figure it's going to be tough to listen to, why else would he put it off. From the little I recall there was no mistaking the pain behind his words.

We had dinner and have tucked Charlotte in the bed at the rear of the plane watching a movie on her tablet leaving us alone in our seats, opposite each other with a small wooden table between us.

"You said we would talk."

"Please let me get it all out at once without interrupting me."

I nod my head in agreement and wait.

His voice is flat, emotionless, he could be talking to a stranger or about something as insignificant as the weather as he begins his story from the time of finding out about his test results, having to fly to London, to calling my father, being hit and everything that followed afterwards, his surgery and recovery, how much he was frustrated with therapy, his loneliness, his fears and struggles, not only physically but with GEH as well. My emotions are seesawing up and down from one extreme to the other. I've had to wipe my never ending tears away from my face constantly listening to him talk, he however refuses to make eye contact instead looking out the window into the complete darkness of the sky.

I move from my seat and step around the table to sit next to him taking his hand in mine.

"You really truly wanted to come to us so long ago."

"Of course I did, Ana. The thought of the two of you out there kept me going, not giving up. You know at the time I had no idea if I had a son or daughter. I wanted to wait until I saw you in person to find out."

"What if… you could have so easily had been killed that night."

His only response is a shrug.

"I always thought Charlotte would have the chance and opportunity to meet you when she got older. That almost didn't happen."

"I'm still here."

I wrap my arms around his neck hugging him close to me, his own automatically surrounding my waist. At one point I may have wished that I had never met him but as hard as I tried I never stopped loving and missing him. He was so lucky, he may have been gone that day for good and I never would have known he was coming for us. I pull back letting him go, staring into his eyes.

"You have to come clean to everybody, to your family." I tell him.

"No," he shakes his head. "What difference will it make now? They'll hate me all over again."

"Or they'll understand why their son and brother stayed away for so long and it wasn't because he didn't care about them. How do you think your parents and siblings are going to feel when they find out that you would rather go through something like that on your own? It will devastate them but it has to be better than thinking you didn't give a shit about them, don't love them. Stop pushing everybody away."

"I can't do that to them. I've already put them through so much heartache."

"Yes you can. If this is going to work I'm not going to keep such a big secret from your family. I can't do that. I'll be there with you when you tell them if that's what you want. You know it's the right thing to do."

He says nothing while closing his eyes and resting his head on the back of his seat.

"I'm angry at you. Not for what happened but how you went about it afterwards. You know what your problem is Christian, it's never completely letting anyone in, thinking you're so much better off on your own, when you don't have to be. Even when we were together there was still that tiny part of you I couldn't reach and you know it's true. You've always had this wall up because of your childhood but can't you see it's no longer needed. You're loved by so many people who would never hurt you."

I take a deep breath in and out as he remains silent. Such a frustrating man at times.

"Tell me the truth about why you waited to call me. All it would have taken is one phone call. What was going on in that head of yours?"

I sit back and wait. I'm not allowing him to get away with not giving me the answers I want and need.

"I had this picture in my head of how it would go seeing you again. The first time I saw Charlotte I didn't want to be in a wheelchair, that's not the first image and memory I wanted to give her of me, I wanted to be able to pick her up and play with her and I also didn't want you to see me so broken, weak and pity me. You can't imagine the humiliation I felt not being able to go to the bathroom on my own, shower on my own. I couldn't handle being judged."

"The way you judged me? You act without thinking about the consequences. We are a perfect example of that. Because it always has to be about you right?"

"Of course not and believe me I've learned my lessons, I've apologised for that. Can you understand why though, can you see my point of view at all?"

"Is there anything else, because if there is now is the time to tell me."

"There's nothing else. That's everything."

I place my hand on his cheek forcing him to open his eyes and look at me.

"Hey, I care about you, your family, our family. I want us to move forward with our lives but not with something like this hanging over us. We've both kept them in the dark about so much already, no more. I don't want to do that again, I can't."

"Our family?"

"Yes our family, it may not be perfect but it's ours and we need to fight for it."

"Okay."

"Okay."

He leans over me, bringing his lips to mine in a soft, slow and deep kiss. It's a kiss of relief and understanding and gratefulness.

By the time we arrive at his apartment it's late at night, Charlotte is fast asleep as he lifts her out of the car onto his shoulder. Taylor is standing behind us with our luggage waiting for the elevator doors to open in the parking garage. When they do I hesitate to step inside. I haven't been back here for so long. Sensing my hesitation Christian places his hand on my lower back giving me a little nudge to get me moving inside.

Once the elevator doors reopen the inside of the apartment is dark. I take two steps inside then halt, I'm overwhelmed with a rush of memories and emotions. My eyes are drawn to the spot in the kitchen where I was standing when it all fell apart. My stomach clenches and I feel ill. This was once home but now nothing more but the scene of the moment my life and happiness was shattered.

"I'll show you to your room." Christian softly says.

I follow him on heavy legs upstairs to a guest room. He turns on the bedside lamp and deposits Charlotte on the queen size bed, she is already changed into her pyjamas so I cover her with the soft quilt and turn to say goodnight to Christian. Taylor leaves my suitcase just inside the door and nods his head taking his leave.

"Goodnight. Umm…if you need anything I'll be downstairs."

"Thanks."

He leaves quietly shutting the door behind him.

 _That was a little awkward._

I change out of my clothes and settle in next to my daughter. She was probably conceived somewhere in this apartment. I wonder if things turned out differently if we would still be living here or if Christian and I would have chosen to move into a house, something with a backyard. No point dwelling on the what ifs. I'm back in Seattle and Escala, in a place I never expected to return. As hard as I try I have trouble getting to sleep, I have no clue what the next week or two will bring, I feel like I'm treading water in the deep end of the pool, my feet unable to touch the bottom, afraid of drowning, it's sink or swim time, if we can get through these next few weeks and months the outcome will be worth it. My family is worth it. I have to let go of the past hurt to truly give us hope of a real and happy future.

I'm woken up by Charlie jumping up and down on the bed squealing after what feels like five minutes of me finally getting to sleep.

"Mummy you have to get up and come see this. Come on, get up."

I drag myself up, put on my robe and follow her downstairs. What on earth has her so excited so early in the morning? When I reach the bottom I stop surprised by the scene before me.

"Wow."

It's like I've waked into a Christmas wonderland. Red and green garland around the lit fire place with three large red stockings hanging off it, there is a huge Christmas tree in front of the floor to ceiling window, it's easily over seven foot tall and covered in twinkling lights and green, gold and red ornaments. There are also various santas, reindeers and snowmen placed around the room, on shelves and tables, even fake snow.

It's truly magical.

Charlotte is running around inspecting it all.

This wasn't here last night that I can recall seeing, someone has definitely been busy this morning.

Christian comes out of his bedroom in grey sweatpants, a black sweater and barefoot looking all delicious and way too handsome for someone who was asleep not long ago.

"Good morning ladies." He grins.

 **CPOV**

I have them home, I love it but for how long, how can I convince her to stay for good.

Everything is out in the open between us. After telling her everything a weight was removed from my shoulders, I no longer have to be afraid and watch what I say around her. She was more understanding than I ever anticipated however insisted on me telling my family. That will be tough, the more I thought about it last night the more I knew she was right. I do have to tell them. No more lies and no more secrets.

This is the first time I've had the place decorated so much for the holidays but the smile on my little girl's face is worth it. I cannot describe the joy it brings me just seeing her so happy. I'm seeing the magic of Christmas through a child's eye, she is teaching me so much about what is truly important in life.

They have brought life and colour to the place and it has only been a few hours. I can never go back to how it used to be before, so drab and clinical.

I needed to go into the office this morning for a few hours but promised to be back by three at the latest. Ana didn't like the look of the clouds outside so opted to stay in and take Charlie down to the gym and indoor heated pool to have a swim with her. I know they'll be safe down there but I still had Taylor make sure someone was on watch just in case.

"You're actually here or am I seeing things." Ros acts surprised walking in and sitting in the chair in front of my desk.

"Very funny. I'm sorry with the way I left so suddenly but Charlotte and Ana needed me."

"I understand. How is she now?"

"Good, getting better. She came home with me."

"Really?" Her brows shoot up in surprise.

"Yeah. Only for the holidays though."

"What does that mean for the two of you?"

"I don't know, I mean it's a step in the right direction. We're trying, trying to be a family for Charlotte but honestly I have no idea how long it's going to take to convince her to come home for good. I told her about London."

"Glad to hear it. It's about time. You guys can work this out. Just be patient and don't do anything stupid."

"Thank you for your confidence in me." I roll me eyes.

"Anytime boss. I would love to finally meet that daughter of yours and see Ana again before she leaves."

"I'll speak to her and work something out. Thank you, Ros, for everything. I don't know what I would have done without you for so long now."

"Don't worry about it, you're paying for a month long vacation to somewhere tropical to thank me."

I laugh at her statement but it's the least I can do for her.

"So what's been happening around here?"

XXXXX

The late afternoon sun is shining through the window as I sit at my piano with Charlotte on my lap. Earlier today she asked if she can play it and I offered to teach her a song. Her small delicate fingers are over my own, her eyes following the keys as I play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star over and over again, her sweet voice singing along.

"Are you ready to try it on your own?"

"I think so."

"Show me what you got."

She nervously presses the keys until she feels comfortable and sure she's playing the right notes. She gets to the end of the song then plays it again.

"I can play it!" She cheers.

"You sure can. You're a natural." I kiss the top of her head. "I think you're ready to put on a concert."

We continue with chopsticks which has us both laughing the faster we get.

I look up seeing Ana leaning against the wall in the hallway watching us. She looks beautiful. Her hair is in a ponytail, she's wearing a pair of light blue jeans and dark green sweater, her face free of make-up but there is something about her that is calling to me, it always has.

Charlotte gets bored and runs off to Gail in the kitchen to help her bake cupcakes for dessert. She has taken to her immediately. I overheard my daughter telling my housekeeper about our breakfast disaster this morning. _Little traitor._

I rise from the stool stalking Ana who hasn't moved from the wall, her eyes lighting up the closer I get.

"That was the cutest thing I have ever seen. You are so wonderful with her."

After so many days of constantly being around her it's getting difficult to keep my distance. I want to throw her on my bed and bury myself in her, but I won't, not until she tells me she's ready.

Grabbing her hips I pull her into my body capturing her mouth in a kiss. I feel her hands run up my back and into my hair, pulling it. Something about the way she's kissing me back is different, more forceful, she's nibbling on my lower lip, encouraging me, asking for more.

My left hand runs down the side of her body, I reach her thigh lifting it up higher, wrapping it around my hip allowing me to settle further into her body, her core open but covered. I step closer rubbing myself against her, my dick is awake and eager to play. I haven't dry humped since I was in high school but I do not remember it feeling this good with anyone else before. The wall at her back is the only thing keeping us upright. Like an eager teenager it's not going to take much more before I embarrass myself by cuming in my pants. She moans through her lips that are still attached to mine.

We eventually break apart to take a much needed breath.

"Fuck." I pant, leaning my forehead against hers.

"I should check on Charlie." She tells me breathless before disentangling herself from me.

Later that evening after another dinner filled with Charlie's chatter Ana puts her to bed and reads her a story while I reply to some emails before she comes down to join me on the couch. I hand her a mug of hot tea.

"Thank you."

"How are you liking the room, you can move to another one if it's not suitable."

"No it's fine. Charlie is loving it. To her it's like one great big slumber party."

I should choose one of the spare rooms to turn into a permanent bedroom for Charlotte. The plan is to get her to spend a whole lot more time here.

"So I was thinking we spend Christmas morning here, just the three of us and then head over to my parent's house. I told my mother that you were both coming back with me and she has invited us over for lunch if you're good with that."

"That sounds lovely. No fighting this time right?"

"No fights. I was also wondering about what Charlotte has asked for from Santa this year."

"You know, I'm not really sure, with me being ill and all we've forgotten to write our letter to santa this year. I'll find out tomorrow and let you know."

"Great. Now, I have a question for you. What was with that kiss before, there was something there that I haven't felt in a long time, tell me I'm not wrong."

She takes a large gulp of her tea blushing.

"No, you're not wrong. I spent a lot of time last night thinking about what you told me. This really is our second chance and I don't want to waste it being afraid."

She puts her mug down on the coffee table then moves across the couch, bringing her leg over my lap straddling me.

"Hi." She says playfully.

My hands find her ass.

"Anastasia?" I question.

"Christian." She winks.

Okay what is going on here all of a sudden?

Her hands caress my face, she uses her fingernails to scratch the slight stubble on my cheeks. She initiates our kiss this time. It starts off slow and gentle increasing in intensity with each passing second. Her tongue seeking entrance into my mouth, I take her in caressing it with my own. I keep my hands on her butt caressing it up and down, not wanting to do anything to ruin the moment. I don't know what changed between last night and this morning but I like it and won't be complaining.

I move my lips down her neck, placing wet, open mouthed kisses along the column of her creamy white throat.

"Touch me." She begs, moving back and forth trying to find friction on my lap.

I pull back and still her movements. She has me all confused.

"I thought you were the one who wanted to take it slow."

"I did, I do but I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss in the hallway and the way you felt against me."

What do I do, if I reject her now she'll be hurt. If we do this and it blows up in my face afterwards it will be back to square one.

I attack her mouth once more in a hungry, soul stealing kiss.

"I'm not going to have sex with you tonight but I will make you feel good." I mumble against her lips.

This time she pulls away from me.

"Isn't this what you want?" She frowns at me.

"More than anything but we are not there yet, baby, I don't want you to regret this. Just trust me okay."

Keeping eye contact I shift her backwards a little on my legs, reach under her sweater and undo the button of her jeans, pull down the zipper and find my way in, my hand brushing the edge of her panties waiting for any sign she wants me to stop, when I see there is no reservation in her eyes I pull the elastic away from her skin and enter her panties, touching her warm bare skin as I make my way further down to her body's entrance.

With my other hand I grab the back of her head, tangling my fingers in her hair, bringing her mouth to mine.

She is so warm, wet and feels like heaven in my arms. Sex was always a large part of our relationship and I'm really hoping there is no awkwardness and we can get back to how it used to be between us. The intoxicating scent of her arousal surrounds me causing my dick to twitch, trying to leap out through my pants wanting to get to her. _Sorry buddy not tonight._

I press my palm against her clit then gently ease my finger into her, she hisses in pleasure against my lips, I start to move in and out or her warmth ever so slowly at first, increasing in speed after a while adding a second finger as she starts to ride my hand, she's huffing and panting as I steal and give breath back to her, she rips her mouth away from me laying her head on my shoulder, shuddering, I can feel her whole body shaking, I can feel her begin to climb higher and higher aiming for the peak.

"Don't hold back." I whisper in her ear.

I push against her sensitive nub with my thumb, curve my finger inside her rubbing against her inner wall hitting her g-spot, I feel her muscles instantly contract bringing her release closer. A few more thrusts and she cries out cuming so hard she drenches my hand with her orgasm. I can't stop the smile spreading across my face with the knowledge that it was me that made her fall apart so easily. I slow my movements riding it out with her.

I pepper her face with tiny kisses as she comes back down to earth.

Her hands move to my belt fumbling to get it undone. I cover her hands with my own stopping her.

"What about you?" She asks. It's not hard to miss the erection straining against my pants.

"No, this was just for you, Ana."

"Why?" She's looking at me like I'm crazy and maybe I am.

"I told you I don't want to rush this, I want it to be perfect. I'll survive."

She pouts looking adorable.

"The truth is I'm also a little nervous." I admit. "I've been fantasising about this for so long but I haven't …you know…. since before the accident and I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you."

She plays with the small buttons of my polo shirt.

"I get what you're saying but you could never disappoint me, I haven't forgotten how it used to be between us. We'll get back there one day and it's probably best to wait but hey at least we know it's working." She giggles rubbing her hand over my cock.

"Not helping." I groan.

"Sorry. That's a long time by the way."

"You have no idea." I chuckle.

I envelope her in my arms, resting her head in the middle of my chest and sit on that couch cuddling, not saying a word, just enjoying being in each other's presence. For the first time since I've been back in her life there is no need for words.

"I better get back to Charlotte in case she wakes up." Ana says into my chest.

I'm so content and relaxed I don't want either one of us to move.

"Five more minutes." I tell her keeping my arms around her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13**

 **APOV**

Leaving Christian on the couch I climb the stairs feeling his eyes following me up until I reach the bedroom. My daughter is spread eagled across the mattress so I push her legs over giving myself enough room to sleep. Turning off the bedside lamp I lay down however my brain doesn't shut off and is replaying our interaction on the couch, I can't say I'm not disappointed he stopped me, but we both need to be ready to take this next step. I felt safe in his arms, relaxed, without a single worry. I was content to continue sitting there. I haven't felt that way for so long, in the past being held by him always made it seem like everything was right in the world and tonight was no different. I've had to continue being strong for the two of us, whether I had it in me or not, but for once I completely let my guard down and it was okay, it wasn't the end of the world.

When I wake up it's still early, the sun barely risen, I roll over to face Charlotte expecting to see her sleeping except she's not next to me. I sit up looking around assuming she may be in the bathroom but the light is off. I get up and step out of the room, she's probably watching cartoons. I get downstairs where not a single sound can be heard. I check the TV room but that too is empty. Where could she be? There are so many places in this enormous apartment she could get to. I rush to Christian's room to wake him in order to ask him to check the security monitors for her only as I push open his door I find her fast asleep in his bed beside him. How and why is she in here? My heart slows down upon seeing her in here. I take a moment allowing my eyes to roam his naked torso, the covers stopping at his waist. This man always sleeps shirtless, no matter the weather outside. They both look so peaceful I tiptoe out letting them sleep.

An hour later Christian finds me in the kitchen nursing my cup of tea. My greets me good morning with a kiss to the temple then heads for the coffee machine.

"Imagine my surprise at finding a cute brunette in my bed." He teases.

"Yeah, I had no idea she got up and came down to you. I got a fright when I couldn't find her."

"It's fine and I promise you she can't leave the apartment, the elevator is locked at night. Anyway I had an idea yesterday to paint and have a bedroom decorated for Charlotte, give her a space that's all hers and have it all ready for the next time you're here."

It makes sense, we're sure to spend time here in the future. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't already.

Once our dear daughter got up and Christian told her his idea she squealed with excitement and so after breakfast the two of them along with Taylor have made their way to the paint store for her to choose the colour of her walls. Christian is calling it a daddy/daughter project and they will order furniture together online after they're done painting. Good luck to him, I know how difficult our daughter can be when she can't make up her mind. They could be there for hours arguing over colours.

While they're gone I take the opportunity to call my parents. I sit on my bed and dial my mother's number.

"Hey, Mum."

"Hi darling, how's Seattle? How's Charlie liking it?"

"It's great, Charlotte loves it, you should see the way Christian decorated his apartment, she's in Christmas heaven."

"HA! I bet. How are you doing? Is everything okay, Ana?"

"No. I mean, nothing's wrong, but Christian told me something and I've been running it over and over in my head and I guess I just need to talk about it."

"Okay…. You have me concerned now. What did he tell you?"

I swallow the lump in my throat before I start talking.

"Mum, he had an accident, a really bad one, he came close to not being here today."

"What, when, is he okay?"

"He's fine now, it was almost 3 years ago. He was hit by a car while in London."

I sit there for the next fifteen minutes telling her all that Christian told me about his accident and injury as well as my fears and thoughts.

"I've been so caught up in my anger towards him for so long I never considered how he was doing, I assumed he just moved on with his life but he didn't, he tried to come to us sooner. I've finally let all the anger and hate go. When I think about that night now all I feel is sadness for the time lost. Charlotte came close to never meeting her father, I almost lost him again."

Tears are running freely down my cheeks.

"He tried to call Ray, did you know about that?"

"No sweetheart, I promise you I had no idea, Ray never said anything to me. Don't be too harsh on him, he was only protecting you, you and Charlotte are the only family he has."

"I know but it still hurts that he never bothered to tell me."

"Christian never forgot about you. Is that what you need, Ana, to know you are still his first priority after so long."

"That's not it. We're moving on, we're both in this, we both want the same thing which is to be a family."

"How do you really feel?"

"I'm sad, sad that he went through that alone and so damn angry at him at the same time. Even if I knew I don't know if I would have been there or if it would have changed anything between us at the time. He was my first love, my first everything, my fairy tale and it blew up in my face. I'm doing the right thing aren't I, giving this another chance?"

"Does he make you happy? Forget Charlotte for a moment, you know he loves her and will be there regardless, are you happy?"

"Yes."

"Then you're doing the right thing."

"Thanks, Mum."

"Anytime my, darling. I'll let you go. Give that granddaughter of mine a big hug and kiss. When are you coming home by the way?"

"In another week I think, just after new year, I'll let you know. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

I hang up and have my finger hover over my dad's name for a few seconds before calling. He picks up after the third ring.

"Hey, Annie, long time no hear, what's up?"

"Well, I'm in Seattle."

"Why?" He asks confused.

"Charlotte and I are spending Christmas with Christian."

"I see…"

"I know about the phone call." I blurt out.

"What phone call?"

"The one Christian made to you a couple of years ago wanting to get in touch with me. You never told me."

"I didn't think I had to. You were done with him."

"Do you know after he got off the phone with you he had an accident, that that is the only reason he stayed away for so long. All this time you wanted me to believe the worst about him. I'm not saying he hasn't made mistakes, we all know he has but when he tried to fix them, you stood in the way. You could have just told me he tried to contact you. It was not your decision to make."

"I was being a parent. The first time I saw you after you moved in with your mother your spark and smile were gone, you were a shell of yourself and I blame him. I didn't want that happening again."

"Dad I love you, I don't want to choose between you but if you can't let this go you're only going to be hurting me and Charlotte. My future is with Christian, he will always be in our lives, please let it go, if I can forgive him so can you."

"Just give me some time."

"I can do that. Hopefully we can catch up before I fly back home."

I get off the phone and let out a sigh. That went better than I thought. I know he's my father and only doing what he believed best for me at the time, would I do the same thing in his position, keep something from Charlotte in order to protect her?

My phone beeps with an incoming message from Kate letting me know the package I was waiting for has arrived. I reply that I'll be over soon to collect it. Thank goodness, I was so worried it wouldn't arrive in time even though I put it through as an urgent request.

I send Christian a text that I'm going out for about an hour to meet Kate for coffee.

He texts back telling me to be careful and to take Sawyer with me.

I roll my eyes at his over-protectiveness.

Sawyer was here this morning and is now driving me over to Kate's place. I haven't seen him since he was following me around when Christian and I were engaged. Our first meeting was awkward to say the least. It honestly feels a little weird having him drive me around again, like I've stepped back into the past except I'm not the same person I was back then and neither is Christian.

XXXXX

I'm wrapping gifts in the bedroom where I can hear laughter and arguing coming from what will be Charlotte's new bedroom making me smile. Apparently choosing paint was a hard experience so her walls are going to be two colours. I don't want to imagine what is happening in that room, Christian has never painted a wall in his life. I can hear her instructions and demands floating down the hallway.

I run out of sticky tape and wonder if Christian has any. I go downstairs and step into Christian's study to find some to finish wrapping his gift with while he's busy with Charlotte.

This is the first time I've been in here for so long. It is exactly the same, not a thing has been changed, well this is Christian Grey we're talking about here, did I expect anything different, the only alteration is the photos of our daughter framed on his desk.

I open his desk drawers in the hopes of finding what I'm looking for. I have no luck with the top drawer and move down to the next one. I open it up and all the air leaves my lungs when I find what's laying in there. _My engagement ring._ He still has it? With shaky fingers I reach in and pick it up, bringing it up closer.

I close my eyes and two images fight each other in my mind, the day he gave it to me and the one where he ripped it off.

A noise at the door startles me, opening my eyes and looking up I find Christian standing there.

"I'm sorry, I was looking for some tape." I stammer.

I put the ring back, close the drawer and step away from his desk wrapping my arms around my waist.

I look down at my feet but feel him moving towards me. Out of the corner of my eye I see his hand open the drawers on the opposite side of his desk, pulling out the tape dispenser and handing it to me.

"Here you go."

"Thank you." I grip it tightly to my chest.

"Ana look at me."

I gaze at his tortured face.

"You still have it." I state.

"I do."

"Why?"

He sticks his hands in his pockets and walks away to stand in front of the large windows overlooking the city with his back to me.

"That night, I came in here and threw it in the drawer not wanting to look at it. As time went on, every time I opened that drawer and saw it, it was a reminder to not let anyone in again, to not allow myself to trust so easily again. The truth is I couldn't get rid of it, it was all I had left to remind me you were once here." His shoulders sag as I hear him exhale.

There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said so instead I walk up behind him wrapping my arms around his waist, leaning my head on his back.

"I was surprised to see it."

"I saw the look on your face while you were looking at it. It hurt you."

"It did, that ring meant so much to me at one time, now it doesn't exactly bring pleasant memories to mind."

"I'm sorry." He turns around in my arms. "I'll get rid of it."

"Stop apologising, we're moving on remember and it's your ring, Christian, you can do whatever you like with it. Where's Charlotte?"

"I left her on the couch with my laptop searching princess beds."

"I better go curtail her shopping spree. Thanks for the tape, I'll leave you to it."

Later that evening Christian asks if we have any Christmas Eve traditions and Charlotte is quick to tell him about our camp-out waiting up for Santa every year.

"We gather our pillows and blankets and sleep in the living room waiting for Santa to arrive. She always sleeps right through." I explain.

"Sounds fun."

After dinner we play a competitive game of Uno while drinking hot chocolate before we busy ourselves leaving milk and cookies out plus some carrots for the reindeers then Charlotte and I change into our pyjamas. With Taylor's help Christian brings in a mattress and places it in front of the fire place.

Once Charlie is satisfied that everything has been prepared to her liking the three of us get under the covers on that mattress by the fire with Charlotte laying between us.

"Goodnight mummy, goodnight daddy."

"Goodnight princess."

She curls into my side as Christian drapes his arm over us both holding my hand.

We're quiet for a few minutes as Charlie falls asleep, the heat from the flames warming my body. The large room dimly lit by only the fire and the twinkling lights on the tree. It truly gives the place a magical feel.

"I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning. I can't wait to see her face and excitement." Christian tells me softly in order to not wake her.

"Me too. She's loving being here and had a ball painting her room. I can't believe she banned me from seeing it until it's finished."

"I wonder who she takes after?" He jokes. "Do you think I'm doing an okay job with her at this parenting thing so far?" He asks unsurely, although he has no reason to doubt himself.

"You've been absolutely wonderful with her, she loves you and wants to be around you more than me sometimes if you haven't noticed. I'll need to prepare her to go back home soon."

He pouts at that statement.

"Don't. You knew this was only for a little while."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. How are you feeling anyway, how's the cough?"

"Much better, thank you again for everything."

"Tell me, what's your most memorable Christmas memory?"

That's an easy question to answer.

"With my mother and Ray when I was ten. I was convinced I wasn't going to get what I kept asking for. Don't laugh but all I wanted was a red coloured snap strap watch. All the girls at school had one and I thought I would be so cool wearing one too. When I saw it I literally couldn't speak for a couple minutes. The best part was not seeing any of the extended family or friends of my parents, it was just the three of us all day. We were so happy. We had a great big breakfast which we all helped to cook together, in the afternoon it was having hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies, even going outside for a snow fight. I want that experience for Charlotte."

"Then that's what she'll have, baby."

"How about you, what's your favourite Christmas?"

"This one right here."

I look at him skeptically with raised brows.

"It's true, I mean my parents always made the holiday full of fun and family time but over the years it seemed to lose its meaning. I suppose with Charlotte here I'm finding the magic in it again. I can't begin to explain how much it means that you came to be here for Christmas. I would most likely be on my own right now. Anyway, I'm going to go get her gifts and put them under the tree." He cuts off any further conversation by standing up.

Christmas morning I'm woken by Charlotte's excited "Santa came!" as she inspects the plate of cookies and all the brightly coloured packages around the tree.

Christian and I secretly smile at each other knowing we shared the milk and cookies between us.

"Merry Christmas, Anastasia." Christian sits up kissing me deeply before turning to Charlotte who's jumping up and down.

"Merry Christmas, Miss Charlotte."

"Can I open them?"

"Go ahead."

I grab my phone to film her ripping everything open. She got arts and crafts activities, princess dresses and some books. There was a doll for her from Taylor and Gail which was very sweet of them however her main gift from Santa was a pink mini grand piano just like her daddy's which she absolutely adores. While she's busy tinkering with it I pull the black box from under the tree which I placed there handing it to Christian.

"This is for you." I nervously say.

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to."

He unties the green ribbon and lifts the lid. On top is a framed photograph of the three of us from Charlotte's birthday party and a book called A Dad's Survival Guide to Raising Daughters, it's one of those funny parenting guides and thought he'd get a kick out of it.

"This is great." He chuckles.

Lastly he pulls out the folded piece of paper in the bottom.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

He unfolds it and I know the moment he realises what it is he's holding. He gasps then holds his breath, his eyes pooling with tears as they meet mine.

"This…this is…"

"Yes. Back in Savannah when you were looking at her school work or swimming achievements everything had Charlotte Steele written on it and I heard you mumbling to yourself, it wasn't hard to miss the disappointment in your face that she was a Steele. At the time she was born I left the father's name blank but this is how it should be."

"Charlotte Grey." He whispers running his fingers across the letters.

He captures me in his arms in a soul crushing hug, kissing me hungrily only stopping to rest his forehead against mine.

"Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me."

"I wanted to give you something meaningful. I know it's not much."

"No, Ana this is everything. Okay, your turn."

He calls Charlotte over from playing with her new toys. They hand me two boxes, one large and silver, the other a tiny gold wrapped one.

"Open the big one first, mummy." Charlie bounces up and down on her knees excitedly.

I remove the lid and lift the tissue paper to find a beautiful cream coloured lace dress, with three quarter sleeves.

"Wow, it's gorgeous."

"I owe you a re-do first date. I thought I would take you out for it tomorrow night and figured you probably needed something to wear for it." Christian smiles at me.

"I helped choose it, mummy, do you like it?"

"I love it, it's beautiful just like you."

"There's pretty shoes in the box too." She announces.

I look in the box again and laugh when I see the sparkly silver heels. Yep, these are definitely my daughter's choice.

I take the smaller gift in my hand unwrapping it to find a jewellers logo on the box.

"I heard it was customary to give the mother of my child a gift, something to say thank you for having my baby, better late than never right." I hear Christian say as I'm staring at the box in my hand. I'm a little afraid to open it.

I slowly crack it open. Inside it holds an exquisite gold ring with Charlotte's birth stone in the middle. The gem is round shaped with tiny diamonds running along either side. It's absolutely stunning.

"Christian, this is incredible."

He takes it out and places it on the middle finger of my right hand.

"Thank you." I kiss him in thanks. He can be so thoughtful and couldn't have given me anything more perfect than this.

"You deserve it and so much more."

 **CPOV**

Yesterday was certainly an interesting day.

On the drive to the paint store I asked Charlotte why she ended up in my bed and her answer struck me in the heart. She didn't want me to be lonely because I was downstairs and they were upstairs. This kid sure can pull the heartstrings.

Who knew choosing paint colours takes over an hour. The staff were giving me _poor guy_ looks. I was tempted to buy every fucking colour of the rainbow just to get out of that store. I know Taylor got a kick out of it if his massive grin was any indication.

Then coming back to paint her room was another experience. My daughter can take over GEH at any time judging by her ordering me around. She supervised by pointing out if I missed a spot. It was fun and normal and created a life lasting memory. Charlie had her own little section under the window to paint with her small paintbrush. There was more paint on her than the wall, her clothes were destroyed and Ana was going to probably kill me but it was worth it.

When I found Ana in my office with that damn ring in her hand I almost backtracked out of there like a coward. I'm such an idiot, why didn't I get rid of it or hide it in my safe. I want nothing more than to marry her, have a life with her and Charlotte when the time is right but ring holds bad memories for us both. I'll need to find something better. I was afraid to even speak in case an argument ensued but we had a conversation and it was over. It goes to show our growth and maturity over the years. There's hope for us yet.

Christmas morning was an experience like no other seeing the joy on Charlotte's face. I didn't think it could get any better until I saw that birth certificate. It's only a piece of paper but it has so much significance and for Ana and I it means we've truly turned a corner. My heart felt so full I want to bottle this feeling forever.

After giving each other such special gifts all morning it was little subtle touches and kisses between Ana and I. When I went to bed the other night my dick was crying saying what the hell is wrong with you however I know I did the right thing, not that it was easy. I can't wait to take her out tomorrow night. A proper new start. I have no expectations except spending time alone and making her happy.

After a wonderful breakfast with just the three of us like Ana wanted, where she had me in charge of the toast which I made perfectly if I say so myself we got ready to head out.

Taylor and Gail have the next week off and are spending it somewhere warm so Sawyer along with Ryan is driving us to my parent's house and will be hanging out until we're ready to leave. Mia opens the door ignoring me and takes Charlotte in her arms walking away into the family room telling her that she has gifts for her, Ana follows them as I trail behind weighed down with gifts for my family. I had Gail go shopping a few weeks ago to pick everything up for them. I generally give them gift vouchers but not this year, I still have some sucking up to do.

Stepping into the room putting everything down we all hear a loud crash and an "Oh my gosh!" coming from the kitchen. We all rush over to find Kate standing frozen in the middle of the kitchen, liquid on the tiled floor at her feet and the bowel she must have dropped broken into pieces.

"My water just broke." She announces looking straight at Elliot.

"Are you sure?" He responds. _Dumbass._

"Elliot." Kate growls at him.

"Oh, a Christmas baby, how wonderful." My mother cheers.

All the ladies begin to run around cleaning up the mess and getting Kate into the car for Elliot to take her to the hospital. We all stay behind with Ava to wait seeing as it could take hours before the newest Grey gets here.

We open more gifts and have a great lunch. It's great to see the smile on my parent's face at having everybody here and the excitement of waiting on the arrival of their third grandchild. If they knew about Ana being pregnant this is what it would have been like and with that thought my good mood plummets a little. _Don't think about that today_. I honestly have no idea how long it takes for a woman to have a baby, however five hours later Elliot calls to tell us it's another girl which they've named Emily.

We all make our way to the hospital to see Kate and the baby and crowd into the not very large hospital room congratulating them and crowding the bassinet.

Ana is sitting near Kate on the bed cradling the baby in her arms. She makes it look so easy. I begin picturing her holding our baby. Is that something she even wants again, to have another child, is it possible? We got lucky with Charlotte being healthy but the next time we may not be, I know it's too soon to be thinking about these things but it is something we will need to discuss.

The baby is so tiny and beautiful, she thankfully looks like Kate and I make sure to let Elliot know that. After a few minutes I feel a heaviness on my chest and need to step outside into the corridor for some air.

My father comes out after me finding me leaning against the wall.

"Are you okay, son?"

"Yeah, it's just seeing everyone and Elliot holding the baby, I'm understanding more and more what I and we all missed out on with Charlotte when she was born because of my stupidity. I'm really sorry."

"It can't be easy but you have your second chance, Ana and your daughter are here now."

My father does something he hasn't for years and gives me a hug patting me on the back.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Christian some big and some small but it's how you put things right that counts and I'm proud of you and how much effort you have put into getting your family back together." He kisses me on the temple whispering he loves me.

A few tears escape my eyes but I pull myself together wiping them away. Of all the things he could have said to me, that is what I needed to hear the most. What will he have to say when I tell him my secret which I've been keeping from them all for so long. Will he still be proud?

Ana comes out of the room looking for me. My dad gives me another pat on the back and leaves the two of us alone.

"Kate wants me to stay with her while Elliot goes home to collect her bag and your parents are taking Ava back with them."

"Okay, I'll take Charlie home and send Sawyer with the car back for you."

"Thank you."

She wraps her arms around my waist frowning at my red rimmed eyes.

"Is everything alright?" She asks worriedly.

"Perfect." I smile at her.

On the way back to Escala Charlie is talking non-stop about Christmas and her new baby cousin in between her yawns.

We get back to the apartment and I get her ready for bed. As I'm tucking her in she asks me a question I really am not prepared for.

"Daddy, where does the baby come from? I know they grow in the mummy's tummy but how does it get in there?"

Shit, I need Ana, I'm not equipped to answer this.

Umm, what do I say? I don't think Ana would want me lying to her and telling her outlandish lies. _Think Grey._

"Well you'll understand when you're older but the mummy has a special egg in her tummy and the daddy also has something special in his body and when they're put together it makes a baby."

She's gives me a funny look probably thinking really dude an egg.

"Oh, but how?"

"The doctor helps them."

"Oh, okay." she looks as if she doesn't quite believe me.

"So if you need both a dad and mum now that you are here do I get to be a big sister like Ava? Am I going to have a baby brother or sister?"

I rub my hands over my face.

"I don't know, it's not that easy and you'll have to ask mummy, she's the one who has to grow the baby."

"Good point. I'll ask her tomorrow."

That was a close escape. I kiss her goodnight and rush out of there before another question pops into her head.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14**

 **APOV**

I'm standing in the kitchen frying Charlotte eggs for breakfast as she waits seated at the breakfast bar colouring in. Christian went downstairs to the gym for a run on the treadmill half an hour ago and should be returning soon to eat.

Charlotte looks up and her head moves back and forth between the fry pan and me. She's staring at the middle of my body strangely.

"Charlie, what are you looking at?"

"I'm just trying to figure out where your eggs are."

"My what?" What on earth is she talking about?

"Your eggs, daddy told me that mummies have eggs that they make babies with, are they as big as a chicken's egg, where do they come from?"

 _Christian Grey!_

I hear the elevator ping and in wakes the man himself overhearing his daughter's question then quickly spins around walking away.

I'll get to you later Grey.

"What else did he tell you?"

"Not much, I don't think daddy knows where the baby comes from."

I plate up her eggs and toast placing them in front of her and take a seat next to her.

"No, my eggs are really tiny and are in a part of my body called ovaries. It's a special part of the body that only girls have. You have them too, but they don't start doing anything until you became a teenager and when you are old enough to understand I will explain exactly how they work. Okay?"

"Okay." She shrugs dipping her toast into the yolk.

"Why were you talking about babies?"

"I was asking daddy if I was going to be a big sister now like Ava."

"Do you want to be a big sister?"

"Yes. I can help you look after it."

"It's not that simple sweetheart."

"Why not?"

"Because first of all the daddy and mummy have to be in love and get married."

"So get married."

"Oh, Charlotte, it's not that easy."

"Don't you love daddy?"

"It's not that, but remember we don't live here, we live somewhere and married people need to live in the same house."

"Let's stay here then, please." She pleads.

 _Don't break my heart kiddo._

"Charlotte sometimes grown-ups need to make difficult decisions, think about what's best for their family because they have responsibilities, you may not like it but it's the right thing to do and for now we live in Georgia. One day we'll be here with daddy forever and maybe have more babies but for right now we have to go home in a few days. Mummy has to go back to work and don't you want to see your school friends and grandma."

"But if we leave daddy he will be all by himself."

"He will come and visit us like he has before."

"It's not the same." She pouts.

"Eat your breakfast, it's getting cold." I put a stop to the conversation.

As much as she wants to stay here with Christian it's too soon, we still have so much to work out between us but we are getting there slowly.

I leave Charlotte eating and go to find Christian to find out exactly what occurred last night. I knock on his bedroom door and push it open. I stick my head in seeing Christian bent over his bed, he's shirtless and his hands leaning on the mattress with his eyes squeezed shut in pain. I quickly move across to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, my back muscles are cramping, I'll be fine in a minute."

"Is there anything I can do?"

He shakes his head but I need to try do something.

"Here turn around and sit on the bed."

I help him twist and lower his body while he lets out a little groan before climbing up on the bed behind him. I sit on my knees, my legs spread on either side of his thighs.

I'm up close with the long scars on his back and I take a moment to really look at them. I use my index finger to trace one of them from top to bottom. He always had a beautiful body and his back was one body part of his I loved and that hasn't changed, if anything I admire it even more. It reflects his strength and determination.

I let out a deep breath and move my hands to his lower back and start to push and manipulate the muscles beneath. His skin feels cold.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"Does this happen often?"

"Not really but at times I feel it more in the cold weather."

Five minutes later my fingers are beginning to hurt so I let up.

"Is that better?"

"Much, thank you."

"We can reschedule tonight if you don't feel up to it." I let him know.

"No, we're going." He insists.

I rise up on my knees, kiss his shoulder blade and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Do you want to tell me why Charlotte was asking about babies and my eggs?"

He chuckles.

"I guess after seeing the baby last night she started asking about being a big sister and wanting to know how the baby got in the tummy. I wasn't sure what you would have liked me to tell her so I went the scientific route and told her the mother has special eggs and that a doctor helps to put it in there."

"I should have been expecting some sort of questions from her, I hope she didn't cause you to panic too much. I'll talk to her again later, anyway I'll let you shower."

XXXXX

I'm standing in the bathroom applying my makeup in front of the mirror. I'm almost ready for our re-do first date. I have butterflies in my stomach, so much is riding on tonight going well.

Christian and Charlie are downstairs playing. She's staying over at Grace and Carrick's place tonight giving us the entire evening on our own with no need to rush back.

I think back to Charlotte's words from this morning. It's not that I haven't thought about staying here however we have a life we need to get back to, a house, my mother is there. My mother…she has done so much for me these last few years when I have needed her the most. I never want to have to run home again to have her look at me with sadness. I need to be 100% sure before packing up and moving back permanently.

I'm wearing the lace dress and shoes Christian gave me and chose white lacy lingerie to wear underneath. I feel amazing giving me a much needed confidence boost. I need for the two of us to take that last final step and sleep together again. Sex was always a big part of our relationship and I need to know we haven't lost that connection with each other. I'm determined to make it happen tonight.

Finally satisfied with my appearance I spray on my perfume, pick up my bag and coat off the bed and walk downstairs to find Charlie and Christian waiting for me. The man looks delicious in a navy suite, white shirt and dark gray tie. _You're mine tonight Grey_.

"Mummy you look so pretty." Charlotte comes up handing me a bouquet of colourful flowers.

"Thank you sweetheart."

Christian places his arm around my waist pulling me into him. I'm hit with the familiar smell of his cologne as he kisses me.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you." I blush.

Charlotte has been dropped off with her grandparents at Bellevue. This is her first sleepover somewhere other than at home without me. I can't help being nervous.

"Ava is there too. She'll have fun with Mia there. She won't even miss us. They will call if she needs us for any reason."

He lifts and kisses my hand while he continues to drive us to our destination. Sawyer is following us in one of the SUV's while Christian left one of his other security guys behind at his parent's house which I admit helps to ease my anxiety a little.

"So we're not going to have a repeat of our other first date disaster are we?" I turn my head to view his profile.

"God don't remind me, everything that could go wrong did. I'm surprised I got you to sleep with me that night."

"Must have been your charm."

"Or you felt sorry for me."

For our first date Christian had taken us out on the Grace but a sudden storm had come in just after we had finished lunch creating massive waves. I got seasick and began throwing up overboard while being pelted by rain before Christian helped me down into the bedroom. We made it back to the marina and started driving back when Christian got a flat tyre. He tried changing it but had trouble taking the bolts off, his hands kept slipping due to being wet from the falling rain. We were on our own because he didn't want to overwhelm me with security and his phone battery was dead. I offered him to use my phone however we were stuck in an area with no reception thanks to the storm so of course we had to walk for a while and me being me tripped and twisted my ankle. So now I was soaking wet and injured. Christian had to carry me the rest of the way until we reached a spot where we could finally make that phone call to Taylor to come rescue us.

"It certainly was memorable." I laugh.

We arrive at Canlis and are led to a quiet corner table by the window overlooking the city lights and Lake Union. The lit candles on the table reflecting dancing flames off the glasses and silverware. Instead of taking the seat opposite I take the chair to Christian's left in order to be closer to him.

Our waiter comes along to take our order. Christian selects the wine and opts for the lamb dish while I choose the salmon.

"Here we are." Christian says as he looks at me intently.

"Here we are." I repeat placing my hand on his thigh under the tablecloth.

After our wine has been poured Christian raises his glass making a toast.

"To new beginnings."

The conversation is flowing easily while we eat our mouth-watering food. I keep finding ways to make contact with parts of his body like his hand or cheek. I used the point of my shoe at one point to rub up and down his calf. The looks I'm getting lets me know he knows exactly what I'm up to but he doesn't say anything.

Half way through our meal Christian brings up the topic of work.

"Would you ever go back to publishing?"

"In a heartbeat."

"You know, Grey Publishing is still there. When you decide to move back, if you want you can have your old position back."

"Christian…." Why is he doing this?

"No, just listen. I feel responsible for taking away that dream from you. I know what working there meant to you."

It meant the world to me, I was so happy going into work each day. I smile at him sadly.

"I appreciate the gesture but I don't expect you to do that for me. I honestly don't know what to say or think at the moment. If I choose to go back one day, I want to do it on my own and not because my boyfriend owns the company. I may even decide on a different company. Can we not discuss this until the time actually comes."

"I can agree to that."

"I have a question for you, something I've been wondering about." It's been on my mind since this morning.

I bite my lip. I can't look him in the eye as I ask this.

Christian reaches up and pulls my lower lip free.

"Are you going to ask me?"

"Well…have you had your…procedure redone?" I ask pointing towards his groin region.

"My vasectomy?" He clarifies and I nod.

"No. After I got my results all I could concentrate on was getting to you, it didn't even cross my mind then I had my accident and was stuck in the hospital with surgeries and rehab, since I've been back in your life I didn't want to do anything before talking with you first. I learned my lesson. I don't know how you feel about wanting more children in the future, if you even want to have them, there is still the risk I can pass my condition on."

He takes hold of my hand on the table.

"I used to dream about having a large family. What about you?" I ask.

"I'm not going to lie, I would love to see you pregnant with our child. I missed all of that the first time around. So yes, I wouldn't say no to having another one at some point in the future."

"Okay, then. So maybe one more, one day. When the time is right maybe we can talk to a doctor to see what all our options are."

We smile shyly at each other and Christian leans over to kiss me.

"Since we're getting into the hard hitting question, why did you never ask me for a DNA test after she was born?"

I move back slightly giving myself room to think.

"Honestly I didn't want anything from you. You broke me and I wasn't going to allow you to do that to my child. What if you found out that you were indeed her father and still treated me like dirt and wanted nothing to do with us or tried to take her away. I wasn't going to risk that. I was afraid. What would I have told her when she was old enough to ask questions? Sorry your father is a selfish asshole who doesn't want you? This may be hard for you to hear but it's the truth. We're not those people anymore though."

"No, we're not."

I reach over to caress his cheek.

"Thank you for tonight. Now take me home, Mr Grey."

In the elevator back at Escala riding up to the penthouse Christian has me pinned against the metal wall in the corner, his body pressed up against mine as ours mouths devour each other. The doors open and we step out together, our arms still entwined around each other, our lips not letting the other go as we turn and lean on the wall next to the elevator doors.

"Make love to me." I moan against his lips.

He pulls his head back to gaze at me. His eyes are burning with desire as I know mine are. I'm not going to let him put a stop to it this time.

"I want this, Christian. Don't overthink it. Go with what you're feeling."

Taking the lead I take his hand in mine pulling him towards his bedroom. He stops me by pulling me back and spinning me around into his chest, his hands tangle into my hair kissing me, our tongues fighting each other, the man can make me forget my own name with the way he kisses. I feel his erection poking onto my stomach, my panties are saturated from the prolonged anticipation and need I have and in this moment the rest of the world has disappeared.

His hands work their way down my back and to my ass kneading it over my dress. I jump into his arms and toe my shoes off dropping them behind me, they clatter and echo as they fall.

He strides to his bedroom, kicks open the door and leads us to the bed where the falls on top of me. I revel in the feel of his weight on me.

"Are you sure?" He whispers kissing across my cheek to my earlobe taking it into his mouth and sucking on it sending a jolt of pleasure right to my core.

"Yes. I want you." I pant.

He gives me his famous panty disintegrating smile getting up from the bed to begin stripping out of his clothes. I follow him up and take hold of both his hands to stop him.

"Let me."

We stand there in the moonlight slowly and carefully undressing each other as piece by piece of clothing falls into a pile on the floor beside us. As we remove a piece of clothing from each other we kiss each new body part we reveal until we are both standing naked. My body has certainly changed after childbirth and this is the first time Christian is seeing me naked since then. I can't help but feel a little self-conscious about it. I think he senses it and lifts my chin with his fingers.

"You're more beautiful than I remember." Christian tells me in awe after running his eyes up and down the length of my nakedness. I'm not cold yet I shiver from his words and fiery gaze. "You are perfect."

We reach for each other, our hands seeking out the feel of the other. Christian gently lifts me in his arms laying me back onto the bed and finding his way above me.

Our mouths are massaging against the other, seeking, taking and giving breath. I can still taste the flavour of the wine we had at dinner, the kisses change from deep and long to short and sweet but we don't let up, we don't lose the connection not for one moment.

His hands are touching me everywhere he can reach, tracing and worshipping. His head moves lower with his tongue tracing a path from my neck to the swell of my breasts. He places kisses on top of each one before capturing a nipple into his hot mouth, running his tongue around it in circles then sucking it harshly as his fingers play with and tweak the other to not feel neglected. I can't help the moan I let out as I feel myself getting wetter from my arousal.

"I love your breasts, baby."

I run my hands along the warm skin of his hard chest and back familiarising myself with the muscles again as he continues paying attention to my breasts. His heavy erection is laying across my thigh, he is so close yet so far, I am desperate to have him inside me but he's taking his sweet time. I feel as if I am on fire and only he can put it out.

"I have dreamed about having you like this again for so long, baby." His voice is husky and full of desire.

"What have you dreamed about? What have you missed?"

"Kissing you, holding you in my arms, your breasts, the grip of your legs around my back, the smell of your hair, the taste of your pussy as you cum on my tongue and the way it grips my dick while you orgasm, waking up to your blue eyes in the morning, just fucking everything." With each statement he kisses his way lower down my body.

If I thought I was desperate before his words increased it tenfold.

My eyes are closed but I sense him shift toward the end of the bed where my feet are. I feel his lips moving ever so slowly leaving tiny pecks with his warm lips up my leg from my ankle to my inner thigh. When he's satisfied that he has paid attention to every part of my leg he then starts all over again with the other.

"You have the most incredible legs in the world. God, I have missed feeling them clamped around me."

He is getting closer to where I need him. I lift my hips up trying to give him a hint and he takes it clamping onto my clitoris while his hands hold my hips still.

"Yes!" _Right there._

I hold onto his hair with one hand while the other is gripping onto the pillow under my head.

"You are so fucking sweet I could spend hours down here." His breath across my folds has me trembling in delight.

It's an indescribable feeling, as if I'm floating, he is sucking and licking, in a torturous rhythm pushing me higher and closer to the peak. He adds his fingers entering and withdrawing in a punishing fashion. It doesn't take long at all for my toes to curl and get my legs shaking from his intimate assault as I start to convulse screaming out his name. My core still quivering as he withdraws his fingers and licks them with a satisfied grin.

 _Wow!_

My turn to return the favour. Christian stands and with a lot of effort I lift myself off my back onto my knees on the bed in front of his hard dick which is sticking out proudly before me. The head red and angry looking. 

I grip the base of his penis, licking the pre-cum off the tip and around the head. I feel him twitch in my hold.

I bring my mouth closer taking in his distinct scent then take him all the way into the back of my throat twirling my tongue around his length. He groans out in satisfaction and as I bring my eyes up to his eyes his own are closed, the pleasure evident on his face giving me a sense of power that I can reduce this man to putty.

I find my rhythm taking him in and out, saliva dripping out and running down my chin with my free hand paying attention to and massaging his balls. I can sense he is getting close and he stops me, pulling away from between my lips before he reaches the point of no return.

"No more, I need to be inside you."

I crawl backwards with Christian settling between my legs once more when a thought hits me.

"Wait, condoms. I'm on the pill but we just need to be extra careful, there's some in my bag I got them off Kate yesterday. Please." There is no way I'm risking what happened to us previously happening again. At least not right now.

"Did you now?" He chuckles. "What am I going to do with you, Miss Steele? Be right back."

He kisses me and I get a taste of myself from his lips, I watch him go retrieve my bag which I dropped in the living room. He comes back thirty seconds later with a strip of condoms, finds his position on the bed again, quickly rips a packet open rolling it on and settles down on top of me.

"Who do you belong to?" His tip is right at my entrance rubbing up and down. I about ready to cry from my frustration, stop teasing me.

"You, I'm yours, only yours." I cry out.

He thrusts forward plunging deeply into me and stills, his harsh breath filling my ears as I adjust to the size of him. My vaginal muscles pulsing around him.

"I'm home." I think I hear him utter against my neck. He's correct this feels right and like coming home after so long.

I wrap my legs around his waist locking my feet on the small of his back as I bring my hands to his butt urging him closer to me, not that he can possibly get any closer.

"Move, please move, take me." I beg.

His body pulls back before pushing back in, over and over sending signals of pleasure across every zone of my body. With my fingers digging into his behind encouraging him I feel those muscles tense and release while he thrusts. I whimper as he continues to claim me with his body, making me his again.

One of his hands is holding onto the nape of my neck bringing my lips to his where he takes a soul stealing kiss, the other on my ass lifting me a little higher in order to allow him to hit that secret spot inside of me.

The heat is radiating off us, making little droplets of sweat run down my back and the valley between my breasts as well as Christian's face.

My eyes are shut to absorb all of the overwhelming sensations happening to my body.

"Look at me." He demands.

I open my eyes and lock my blue ones with his stormy gray seeing love and adoration in them.

He picks up speed, his movements becoming frantic and I meet him thrust for thrust as we race to reach paradise. After months of anticipation, waiting and nervousness of coming together again we reach that pinnacle of heavenly release, the wave hitting us at the same time and has my entire body shuddering.

"Christian." I whisper. The orgasm ripping through me from head to toe is so strong and intense I have no ability to let out anything more than a whisper of his name.

"Ana." He grunts as he spills his seed collapsing on me, pushing me into the mattress.

We're both breathing heavily coming back to earth, with Christian's body still intimately joined with mine, I place my hand on his cheek, rubbing his scruffy growth looking deeply into his eyes. I can't tear my gaze away from him, this beautiful man who for months didn't give up on me or us.

"I love you." I decide to tell him. It seems like the perfect time to let him know I've opened my heart back up to him.

"Say it again."

"I love you."

We both have tears in our eyes. This is the moment where we have truly come back together and become one again. I can't describe the happiness and completeness I am experiencing.

"I love you, too, so much."

We capture each other's mouths letting out years of pain and loneliness and regret as our tongues caress each other. It's time to let go of the past and look towards our future. My heart is full, I no longer feel like I'm missing a piece of me. My hands tightly hold onto his hair my fingers caressing him with our legs entwined. There is not a single inch of space between us.

"This is last time I'm going to ever say this but now that we are finally here again I'm so fucking sorry, Ana."

"I know, honey."

"Honey?"

"Yeah, it's new."

"I like it."

After another kiss Christian goes into the bathroom to remove the condom.

I sit up in the bed pulling the sheet with me admiring has naked back side as he moves.

"What are you thinking about?" Christian asks settling back in beside me pulling me to his chest.

"How this is going to work. We live separate lives across the country from each other. Tell me are you expecting me to pack up and move back immediately now? Charlie starts school next year, where is that going to be? She can't be flying back and forth constantly."

"What if I move there with you for as long as it takes, not permanently but perhaps for a week out of every month, I can work remotely via teleconference and only fly back when absolutely necessary." I start shaking my head at him. "This is more important, I want to be with the two of you. I don't care where that is, unless you don't want me there."

"I can't ask you to do that and it's not a matter of whether I want you around or not, Christian."

"You're not, it's my decision. This is what I want."

"What happens if you resent me for it because that's a real possibility."

"That's not going to happen. I'm willing to do all I can to have this work, so are you, haven't we proven that to each other already."

"Yes." I have to agree with him.

He takes hold of me face within his hands pulling me closer.

"We'll just keep doing what we're doing. The truth is I hate the thought of being alone."

"You're not alone, you have Charlotte and I and your family."

"But I am, Ana, you're going to go home and I'll be alone here."

"Don't guilt trip me, Christian that's not fair. Now you sound like your daughter."

I play with the edge of the sheet as I consider what I say next.

"I was thinking that… say if in six months time at the most I think…if I feel…..I'll move back with Charlie. I never stopped loving you, Christian, not deep down all I ever dreamed about is what it would be like if we were a family. Can you give me a few more months?"

"A few more months. I can do that, and we are a family."

"Yes, we're a family." I agree with a smile.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15**

 **CPOV**

Waking up with Ana in my arms feels as if I'm in a dream, a recurring dream I have had for many years now but this time it's real. She's really here in my bed, deliciously warm and naked. Her scent is surrounding me, the heaviness of her arm over my chest a comfort. A comfort I didn't realise I had been missing so much, or more like I wouldn't allow myself to miss.

We made love several times last night making up for lost time. I couldn't get enough of seeing her sexy body bouncing on top of mine or spread out beneath me, needing to feel and touch her everywhere, to memorise our reunion. Looking at her sleeping form her lips are still swollen from my kisses, I ghost my finger along her lower lip careful to not wake her.

My mind drifts back to our night and dinner. It all went smoothly thank goodness, I was nervous taking her on our re-do date, so much was riding on it going well however I had nothing to worry about and I'm happy we got the chance to talk about things. It hurt to hear some of it but it needed to be said and we are finally on the same page, where I have wanted us to be for so long, gaining her trust and love back, I'm on cloud fucking nine.

Afterwards I loved that she took charge when we got back to the apartment, if it was left up to me I would still be suffering blue balls and jacking off in the shower. I was afraid to make the next move as much as I wanted to, the fear of us taking one step forward two steps back forefront in my brain but once again she surprised me.

She loves me. I feel lighter than I have in a long time. I'm so happy this morning I feel I could take on anything but have no desire to even leave this bed and the woman next to me. Taking this next step was a big deal to Ana, I know that, as it was to me. From now on we only look forward together.

I will never make the same mistakes again. She is my soul mate, a wonderful mother and truly amazing woman.

Now I just need to wait it out a few more months before I can finally have them both home permanently. I should start looking into buying a house, a place where will have a fresh start in but will speak to Ana first, I don't want her to feel I'm rushing her. Once I have them home I'm going to turn my attention to making her Mrs Grey as soon as possible with a brand new ring.

I wonder how Charlotte is doing this morning. I called my mother as we left the restaurant last night to check on her and ease Ana's worry; she was fine and watching a movie with lots of popcorn. It's too quiet without her here and I miss her but Ana and I needed this time alone to re-connect.

Ana opens her eyes, so bright and blue, not a trace of the sadness I have previously observed in them.

"Good morning." She smiles.

I run my finger down her cheek.

"It certainly is."

"You seemed deep in thought."

"I was. I was thinking now that I finally have you in my bed again you're going back to Seattle soon. Expect a lot of phone sex until I get there."

"I look forward to it." She giggles.

I roll over on top of her needing to get closer.

"One day soon when I wake up at 3am unable to sleep, I will look next to me and you will be there, sleeping peacefully beside me and suddenly the world won't seem so lonely. I can't wait until I can roll over at 2am to find your lips instead of a text on my phone."

She kisses me, gently and slowly, our legs and fingers entwined.

"They are very sweet words. Soon, I promise." He face is glowing and radiating joy.

The start of the rest of our lives together can't come soon enough.

"Come shower with me." I say as I drag her up.

XXXXX

Taylor is driving us to my parent's house to pick up Charlotte. It's overcast but you get glimpses of the sun trying to break through the clouds.

I've been thinking about this since we were in the shower this morning and think I'm ready, ready to unburden myself of everything to my family. If this is the start of our proper second chance then I can't keep things from anyone anymore.

I turn to Ana in the back seat and take hold of her hand getting her attention then clear my throat before talking.

"I want to tell my family about my accident today. I need you with me when I tell them."

She grips my hand that little bit tighter.

"You're sure? There's no rush you know."

"Yes. I don't want to hide it anymore, I can't. I need to feel free from this burden I've been hiding for so long. I can just imagine their reactions but I need to do it and I don't want to wait any longer."

"Okay then. I'll be right there with you."

We arrive at my folks place to find my parents outside playing ball with the girls in the yard. My mother spots us first walking over hand in hand and comes on over to greet us.

"Hello, dears. How was dinner?" She asks with kisses to our cheeks.

I look over at Ana who blushes.

"It was great. Thanks for looking after Charlie."

"It was my pleasure, she was wonderful and we had fun. Are you staying for lunch, Elliot is on his way to pick up Ava and should be here shortly."

"Sounds great and….actually, I want to talk to you and the rest of the family about something later. It's important."

I guess the tone of my voice puts her on edge.

"Is everything alright, Christian?"

"Yes, I just need to explain some things to you all."

Before she can question me further Charlie runs up to us, her hair flying out behind her.

"Mummy, daddy!"

I collect her and bring her up into my arms.

"Hey princess. What have you been up to?"

"We had hot dogs for dinner and watched Cinderella but grandpa fell asleep, then Aunt Mia braided my and Ava's hair and we got to sleep in her room in her big bed together." She's talking a mile a minute with a massive grin.

"Wow. Sounds like you had a fantastic time."

Charlotte reaches over for her mother and moves from me to Ana to give her a great big hug.

"Okay darling, we'll wait for your brother and you can talk to us." My mother smiles at us then walks away back to where dad and Ava are, leaving the three of us standing there as Charlotte continues to tell us about her night.

After lunch we're all still seated at the small wooden table in the kitchen. Ana is beside me, I hold onto her hand to get me through this. Why am I so nervous? I understand they're going to be disappointed and angry but that doesn't stop my stomach making me feel sick. Mia is seated on my other side with Elliot and my parents opposite. They all gaze at me expectantly.

Both Charlie and Ava have been taken by my mother's housekeeper Gretchen into the TV room to be kept occupied while we have this conversation. The last thing I want is the girls seeing anyone upset.

"Okay, so, we're all here. What do you need to speak to us about?" My father asks.

"So, Ana and I are trying again and we or more so I don't want any more secrets. They've hurt our family enough. I've already told Ana what I'm about to tell you because I needed her to know and understand, I just hope you don't want to kill me afterwards."

My mother can't hide her grin at the news that Ana and I are back together.

"Why, are you hiding another kid?" Elliot half jokes.

"No asshole."

"Enough, Christian just tell us because all sorts of things are running through our minds. Are you sick?" My mother interjects.

Ana rubs my arm telling me to relax, breathe and just start talking.

"I need to tell you about those couple of years that I was in London and didn't come home at all. Besides Ana the only other two people who knew what had happened and why I was there were Taylor and Ros and I made them swear to not tell anyone. The truth is I wasn't too busy with the London office as I told you, yes, I did fly over there for that reason but I was preparing to come back home, to get to Ana and my child when I had an accident."

"What do you mean an accident? What kind of accident?"

 _Here goes nothing._

I spend the next hour explaining everything to my family about the accident, my hospital stay, how Ros and Taylor helped me and how my recovery went until the day I got back home.

"The thing getting me through it was knowing that in the end I would be able to get to Ana and our baby."

I hear sniffling beside me and I turn to wipe Ana's tears away from her face.

"Don't cry, baby." Even though she knows the story it can't be easy hearing it again.

Looks of disbelief are being directed my way before they all start talking and shouting at once. After a couple of minutes my mother and sister as expected are upset and crying, my father is rubbing his face while Elliot has a blank stare on his face.

Mia launches herself at me her arms latching onto my neck.

"You could have been killed," she sniffles into my neck.

"I know, Mia but I wasn't."

"I want to see your scans and talk to your doctors." The doctor in my mother comes out and she starts firing questions at me which I answer the best I can.

"Oh my God, Christian, why would you keep something like that to yourself? Do you not know we would have been there to help and support you? I feel as if we have failed you, that you believed yourself better off alone." My father slams the table with his hand in anger.

"Please don't blame yourselves, I deserve the blame, it was my decision after all. A stupid decision but mine all the same. "

"You stupid son of a bitch." Elliot shakes his head at me.

"I'm really sorry but at the time I was angry and thought it was for the best. I didn't want anybody's pity, I can see now how wrong of me it was, but I don't want you to think that I didn't care about you all because that's not true. I love all of you. In a way I was trying to spare you the heartache of seeing me broken and stuck in a bed like that. Then as I was getting better I figured what would be the point in upsetting you all but I realise that you deserve to know."

"I understand you all being upset, I was too when he told me. I kept thinking at the time what if he hadn't been so lucky to survive it and how selfish of him it was. He never meant to upset anybody, you all know Christian refuses to show any type of weakness or ask for help. I know he loves you all and deep down he has a good heart even if he attempts to hide it. He was afraid and the fear of not being perfect kept him isolated when he didn't have to be and pushing people away because the alternative would have been too hard for him. He has proved to me that he has matured and grown and the fact that he is here today revealing it, willing to take your anger shows that." Ana tells my family and I kiss her in gratitude.

"I didn't want it weighing on my conscious anymore. Each time I looked at you I felt terrible for keeping you all in the dark, Ana made me see I had to tell you so we can be a family that is whole, I'm hoping you can forgive me and we all move on." I quietly say avoiding eye contact with my family.

The conversation Ana and I had on the plane ride over coming to mind. She was right about everything.

"Why did you wait so long to tell us?" My father frowns at me.

"I wanted Ana to be the first to know, to know why it took me so long to get in contact with her."

"Is there anything else?" He grumbles.

"No I swear that's it."

My parents come around the table to hug me.

"As mad as I am at you I'm just happy you're here with us, however we will talk more about this later." My mother tells me.

"I'm sorry." I repeat.

She turns away from me to take Ana into her arms next whispering something in her ear. I can't hear whatever it is she says but it must be meaningful because Ana nods as her eyes become glassy with unshed tears.

"I need to get back to Kate and the baby." Elliot leaves the room to go get his daughter.

I follow my brother and Ava to the front door.

"Wait, Elliot, are we good?"

"We will be. Just give me a day or two to process all this. For a smart gut you really do some stupid shit."

He's not wrong there.

XXXXX

I carry Charlotte out to the car with Ana trailing behind as we finally leave my parent's home. I feel so emotionally drained.

I would love nothing more than to go back to the penthouse and sleep except I had already told Charlotte that we would take her to the aquarium when we picked her up today and I don't want to let her down so we make our way over.

Walking around under the glass domes filled with water and every type and colour of fish you can imagine I follow my two girls quietly but Ana doesn't push me knowing I need time and space to process it all. My family have always supported me, they took the news better than I expected them to but that still doesn't take away the hurt and sadness I saw in their eyes, that I caused once again. Although silently suffering with my own guilt now isn't going to solve anything.

I'm going to put it out of my mind for now and enjoy my day out with my family. There will be plenty of time to dwell on it later.

Ana and Charlotte are inspecting one of the displays of coral, I stand behind them wrapping them both in my arms. Ana turns to face me, smiling and planting a kiss on my cheek.

"All good?"

"Yeah."

For the first time I can honestly say that everything is good, fantastic, almost perfect even.

Charlotte has her little check-sheet and makes sure to tick off all the creatures we come across, she is absolutely fascinated so it makes it all worthwhile.

As we leave the aquarium in the early evening we get bombarded by a dozen paparazzi outside who seemed to be waiting for us to exit the building.

Their bright flashes of light and shouting scares Charlie who is walking beside me.

"Daddy!" She cries out.

I pick her up to shield her as best I can with Taylor pushing and shoving them out of the way in front of me. I can feel crying into my neck.

"You pricks can't you see you're scaring a child." Taylor yells at them.

Idiotic questions that will go unanswered being thrown at us constantly.

 _"Who is she, is she your daughter?"_

 _"What's her name?"_

 _"Are you back together?"_

 _"Where have you been, Ana, were you keeping the child a secret?"_

 _"Will you be getting married?"_

I turn my head to see behind me and make sure Sawyer has Ana. His arm is around her back leading her as fast as possible through the throng of them to the car meanwhile Ana's hand is raised to block her face from the blinding lights.

We dive into the back seat of the SUV and speed away, hopefully running over one or two of them.

In the car we calm Charlie down, wiping the tears away from her frightened little eyes.

"I'm sorry they scared you, they're gone and won't bother you again. Daddy will make sure of it."

"Are you okay?" I ask Ana.

"I'm fine. Just surprised."

Shit! Fuck! How did they know we were here?

"I can't believe this." I'm fuming. "Taylor how did this happen?"

"No idea, Sir, there were no Google alerts about you today so I'm having Barney look into it."

"We couldn't hide it forever." Ana states.

No but I thought we would have had more time to shield our relationship and Charlotte from the public.

Now we need to go into damage control before wild stories are made up.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading.**

 **We'll be moving forward in time next chapter and a bit more drama to come.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16**

 **3 months later**

 **APOV**

It's been three months since I returned to Savannah after spending Christmas with Christian and his family in Seattle. I've tried to keep busy with work and Charlotte but most of the time Christian is not far from my mind. He couldn't come stay with us as he originally planned for almost a month after we left due to a couple of important deals blowing up at the start of the new year. He was pissed and moody, Ros had caught a horrible cold at that time as well and was unable to help him out as much as she usually does. He kept complaining about how far away we felt from him, needless to say there were a lot of Skype sex sessions during that time to not only keep him calm but to also keep our rekindled connection growing and strong.

I took Charlotte to a carnival the second weekend after we came home and Christian had a fit which I'm certain was heard across the country, it was over the fact that Henry just happened to also be there with his son and the four of us rode the Ferris Wheel because the kids begged to ride it together. It was completely innocent but Mr overreact with jealousy had to act like a big baby over it. I groaned when I overheard Charlie telling him about it on the phone knowing what was coming, I managed to get him smiling with the promise that he could spank me when he did get here. Was that a memorable night!

While I was still in Seattle Ros came over to Escala for lunch one day. It was great seeing her again and catching up. She told me how much happier she is to be working with a happy Christian than an angry and miserable one. While we had some time alone she confided in me about the time when Christian was injured in London and how afraid she was that something would go wrong with the company or that he wouldn't recover and never be interested in getting back to work himself. I thanked her for being a wonderful and true friend to him making us both cry. Then when she met Charlotte she understood all the back and forth flying Christian has been doing for so long now and how hard it must be to stay away.

I also managed to catch up with my dad, he offered to drive down and the four of us went out for dinner. The restaurant was fine, the food great but the atmosphere was tense between Christian and Ray, it will still take some time but he tried which is all I can ask for from him and it's a step in the right direction, also thank goodness for Charlotte keeping us entertained with her stories around the dinner table.

The continuous travel is not ideal but we do what we need to make it work. Charlie and I have flown back to Seattle once a month for the weekend the last three months and it gets harder to leave each time. We're almost there. Three more months. Ninety days.

The night before I flew back home Christian and I approved the statement that was to be given to the media. His head of PR at Grey House was going to release it as soon as Charlie and I were in the air. It simply said _'Ms Anastasia Steele and Mr Christina Grey are in fact dating again and have been for some months now. They confirm that they share a 5 year old daughter whom Mr Grey has always known about. Please respect their privacy and that of their daughter's allowing them to raise her outside the spotlight of the media.'_ I'm thankful at least that luckily the day at the aquarium there were no clear shots of Charlie's face taken.

Then we argued about security and how he wanted me to have it with me back home.

 _"You'll need security with you or at least for Charlotte when you go back." He basically orders._

 _"What, why?" I frown at him._

 _"Because the press have been all over us with speculation and tomorrow when the statement is given out about our relationship they won't completely go away."_

 _"But we're going home, they don't know where we live to find and bother us. We'll be fine, Christian."_

 _"For now they don't but how long do you think before someone spots you and le's the cat out of the bag."_

 _"This is ridiculous." I throw my hands up in the air._

 _"No this is your and our child's safety."_

In the end I relented, so now I have a new guard named Mark who is not easily recognisable as working for Christian Grey sitting outside Charlie's day care centre for hours on end just in case. The poor guy is most probably bored out of his mind while he's there plus I have to call him whenever we leave the house to escort us to places like the supermarket when grocery shopping. I understand why Christian wants him around to protect us and it gives him peace of mind but there is hardly any danger here.

I thought I wouldn't have to deal with having security again until I moved back to Seattle permanently where it's all part and parcel of dating Christian Grey, billionaire. I know I really shouldn't be complaining, it's because he loves us, I guess I'm just missing him. It's been two weeks since I last saw him.

Right now my brain is stuck on the words Christian said to me last night on the phone and it's replaying them over and over. _"When I close my eyes I see you, when I open my eyes I miss you."_ His words had me crying. It's exactly how I too am feeling. Do we really need to wait a few more months? I can end this torture with one word for us both. He is due to come stay next week, maybe we can talk about what our next step is from here sooner.

I'm seated at a small table at the cafe across the street from work for lunch waiting for my mother to join me. I must have been so lost in my thoughts I didn't even hear or see her sit down until she spoke startling me.

"You seem deep in thought." She smiles.

"Sorry, I was. Hi."

"Let me guess...Christian."

"Yes." I nod taking a sip of my water.

"What is it, I thought things were going well and yet you're sitting here looking anything but happy."

"No, no, I mean things are great with us, it's just...after Christmas I told him if things went well for the next six months then I would move back to Seattle with him. We're already halfway there and I'm trying to decide what to do."

"Are you having doubts?"

"No, not doubts but...I miss him and Charlotte misses him and I was thinking perhaps there's no need to make us all drag this out for another three months but then I think about you, how I'll be leaving you and it's upsetting. You have been my rock since I had Charlotte, we made a home here and I don't know what I would have done without you. I know I'm a grown up and a mother myself but I still need you."

She reaches across the table taking my hand in hers.

"I love you, Ana and Charlotte and I would have done anything for the two of you but right now you're talking crap. Don't hide behind me using me as an excuse because you're afraid that once you go back that your relationship may not survive. Your future is with that man in Seattle and you know it. I have no doubts that it will all be fine. Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself, I will come visit often and who knows maybe one day Bob and I may decide to move closer to you. This is your life to live. Take your chance to be happy sweetheart."

 **CPOV**

It took Barney less than two hours to find out who leaked our whereabouts to the paps. It turns out they received a tip off over the phone by an ex-GEH employee who also happened to be attending the aquarium that day with us. He sold us out for the sum of $10,000.00 but I've ensured he's never getting his hands on that cash. Perhaps if he did his job instead of taking extra-long lunches and delegating everything to his staff his department may not have lost me a three million dollar contract. That evening when I was tucking Charlotte into bed she asked why those people were taking our photos. How do you explain to a child that people are interested in your life just because you have a lot of money, instead I explained it the best I could saying that some people know who daddy is because of my job, a bit like a movie star or singer. Her response of _"Oh, like Justin Bieber,"_ had me rolling my eyes. I have noticed some photographers following me around every few days when I'm in the city hoping for another glimpse of Ana and Charlotte, _yeah,good luck with that assholes._

The day Ana and Charlie left I put off going back to an empty apartment so I went by Elliot and Kate's house. Ana had bought something for the baby but forgot to give it to Kate so I was going to drop it off as an excuse for the company. Elliot and I sat in the backyard with a couple of beers and talked where he gave me his whole big brother speech.

 _"I was upset that day at mum and dad's sure but more hurt than anything. When we were younger do you remember I would bail you out of trouble and cover for you whenever you got into fights. I was there to protect you whether you wanted me to or not, when you really needed me I wasn't there, you didn't turn to me. That shit fucking hurts, Christian. Forget mum and dad, you didn't want to tell them I don't give a shit but you could have called me."_

 _"I couldn't, not after everything that happened with Ana and there's no way you would have kept something like that from them."_

 _"Maybe, but that still doesn't take away from the fact that you're meant to be able to come to me when you're in trouble. I know things were strained between us but I would have been there."_

 _"I appreciate that, Elliot and again I apologise."_

 _"Yeah well, you finally got your head out your ass and got your family back so you're forgiven I guess."_

I have seen more of my parents and brother in the last couple of months since Christmas than I had in years.

My parents came to visit me at work. Once we sat down they told me that they have had more time to think about the news I dropped on them, that they haven't been able to sleep without imagining me laying broken on the road. I knew they took the news too well when I told them about the accident. The last thing I wanted was to put those pictures in their heads or make my mother cry, even after speaking with my doctors she was still not satisfied that I was fine. I wanted to spare them that but as a father myself I realise you will always worry about your child no matter what.

 _"Did we fail you in any way, make you believe you couldn't count on us. Did you hate us?"_

 _"No mother, please it was nothing like that, nothing you did or didn't do, it was me, all me, being a selfish prick, it's as simple as that. I was hurting and angry and felt like wallowing on my own." I got up from my chair to hug her._

 _"You're not alone, you never were and you never will be. Sometimes you get me so mad, Christian I want to smack you. I know the situation with Ana back then tore our family apart but... I don't know, I really don't know what to say." She shakes her head._

 _"You don't have to say anything. Look, if it will make you feel better then go ahead and smack me." I joke lightening the mood getting a smile from her._

Hopefully after our lengthy and honest conversation that day they will let go of the guilt and look towards the future like I am.

I managed to finish up earlier than anticipated yesterday so here I am back in Savannah on a Friday afternoon where I'll be staying for the next week. We're halfway through Ana's timeframe before she makes the move home. I try to not let myself get excited however with every week that passes that's a week closer to having them where they belong. Only three more months, we'll get there. I'm not going to lie to myself it's been difficult, especially at night when I've been away from them. Not only am I missing them but I have this crazy fear that I'm missing too much time with Charlotte and seeing her grow, I've missed enough as it is. I know if I told Ana she would understand but then feel guilty about it and that's the last thing I want.

I spoke to Ana before taking off letting her know I'd be here this afternoon instead of tomorrow morning and that I'd go pick up Charlie from day care and surprise her. I called their security also and advised him he can go for the rest of the day.

At 5pm I park my rental car in the car park and notice the kids are slowly being let out to be collected while their teachers keep an eye out.

Charlotte is standing with one of her teachers looking around for Ana with her little bag on her back when she turns her head to the left and sees me walking through the car park. She lets out a cheer of excitement and begins to run towards me, her hair flying behind her.

As I make my way to her I see a car reversing out of its spot not too far ahead in the direction where Charlie is running.

"CHARLOTTE STOP!" I scream but it's no use, she keeps on running.

My heart is about ready to jump out of my chest, the fear causing it to beat uncontrollably fast.

I see it all unfold before my eyes. I run, I run as fast as I can to get to her, to move her out of the way, but I'm too late. The back of the car hits her and her little body sprawls to the ground on the concrete. The sound of the impact will be with me forever.

"NO!" I yell as tears fall down my face.

 **A/N: I know this chapter is a little shorter than usual but that's all the muse would produce. Sorry for the cliffhanger but I won't leave you hanging for long. Hoping to have the next chapter up by the weekend.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17**

 **CPOV**

I fall to my knees on the ground beside my daughter, hovering over her small body while my eyes are darting in all directions at once checking her for injuries.

"No, no, no. God, Charlie." I'm sobbing.

My vision has become blurry from my tears as with a shaking hand I gently push her hair off her face.

She's laying there unmoving with blood running down her face from her head and I fear the worst. Is this my punishment, is karma getting me back for what I did to Ana and for not being here for them?

The driver gets out of their car and comes around to where I am. She's shaken and continuously apologising as she wrings her hands, under other circumstances I would be empathetic to the shock of having hit a child but in this moment I could care less how they're feeling all I care about is my daughter.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't see her behind me."

"Well maybe you should pay more attention." I yell at her.

By this stage other parents and teachers surround us asking if we need help or if she's okay. Her little school friends who witnessed it happening are crying by their parent's side.

 _Does she look okay to you morons?_

"Call an ambulance!" I shout.

I pick her up and stand cradling her close to my chest in my arms. I lay her head on my shoulder then move my ear to her face to check if she's breathing. Her little breaths the greatest sound in the world to me.

I stand there praying until I hear the sirens a few minutes later then rush over to where the paramedics have stopped.

I hand her over to them following the gurney into the back of the ambulance and beg them to take care of her as I hold her little hand in mine.

 _Don't worry Charlotte, daddy isn't going anywhere._

With my free hand I pull my phone out from my pocket to call Ana so she can meet us at the hospital as I will them to get us there faster. How do I tell her? No parent wants to ever receive a call like this telling you your child has been in an accident and could be seriously injured.

It rings three times before I hear her sweet voice.

"Hi honey I'm on my way home where are you guys?" She sounds so cheerful and I'm about to ruin that.

"Ana you need to get to the hospital right away." I manage to choke out.

"Christian…why, what's going on, what's happened, you're scaring me?" She begins to panic.

Through tears blocking my throat I somehow tell her our daughter has been hit by car and how it happened. _It's my fault._

"It happened so fast. I tried to get to her. I don't know if she's okay, she hasn't opened her eyes." I use the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my eyes, "We're in the ambulance now."

"You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking, Christian." Ana begins to cry.

"Ana, you're driving. I need you to try calm down, baby. We don't want another accident. Please, drive safely and I'll see you soon. She'll be fine, I'm right here with her. I love you." _She has to be fine._

"Okay, I'll get there as fast as I can."

Please be okay baby girl.

 **APOV**

I run into the hospital through the sliding doors so fast I almost trip over, I'm so out of breath you would think I've just run a marathon. With wide eyes I search the busy area to find Christian standing in a corner looking distraught, he is running his hands through his hair but what catches my eye is the blood on the shoulder of his blue shirt. _Our little girl's blood._

"Where is she? Where's my daughter?" I take told of the front of his shirt shaking him as I speak once I've reached him.

Panic and fear has had hold of me since I got his phone call and I'm afraid to know the answer, afraid to look into his eyes in case it's bad news so I stare at the buttons at his throat instead.

He wraps his arms around me and we hold each other for a moment each of us drawing strength from the other person.

"She's upstairs with the doctors being seen to. They told me it looked like her arm is broken from the way she fell on it, they didn't seem too worried but she also hit her head and I haven't spoken to anyone else yet."

With his arm around my shoulders he leads me to the elevator and up to the second floor where Charlotte is to wait for the doctor to come back out and tell us that she is okay and that we can see her.

We ask the nurse at the desk about our daughter but she's no help at all, all she tells us is that the doctor will be out soon. I swear I wanted to jump over that counter and smack her. This is my child who's hurt, how long am I expected to wait for answers.

Ten minutes later the doctors are still with Charlotte and Christian is pacing the corridor up and down in front of me. As I sit on these horrible uncomfortable plastic chairs, I bow my head praying to God. I see his feet moving before me back and forth in my line of vision on the gray linoleum floor putting me in a strange trance. I feel numb, I don't want to think, I don't want to feel I just want to see and hold my daughter.

Hearing a noise I look up hoping it's Charlie's doctor but it's only a small brunette nurse in dark blue scrubs walking down the hall, I ignore her but then she stops when she sees Christian and smiles at him. Her nurse's tag tells me her name is Leila. What the hell does she want?

"Mr Grey I'm surprised to see you here. How have you been?" she asks him in a British accent.

She's pretty with hazel coloured eyes. I can't help it, I squint my eyes in annoyance at her.

"Hello Leila, I'm well thank you, as you can see." He replies kindly. "What are you doing at this hospital?"

"I moved to the States with my partner a few months ago, he finally convinced me. It's taken some getting used to but at least the weather is better over here."

The ass actually laughs at her before turning to me.

"This is my girlfriend Anastasia." He introduces.

She smiles at me in greeting.

"Lovely to meet you. Well I'll leave you to it I need to get back to my rounds. It was lovely seeing you up and about."

She walks away without a backward glance, her stupid ponytail bouncing as she walks.

"Really you're going to flirt with the nursing staff in front of me?" I scoff rolling my eyes.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Ana?" He snaps.

"You seemed a little too friendly with her." I shrug my shoulders at him before crossing my arms.

He shakes his head at me in disbelief and disappointment. I know I' m sounding like a bitch but I can't help it.

"She was one of my nurses in London for a while so yes, I was being friendly." He shakes his head at me again and begins to walk off but then spins back around to face me.

"I'm worried sick about our daughter and you want to start an argument with me over what exactly? A nurse who stopped to say hello? Do you honestly believe I would flirt with anyone else let alone right in front of you."

Great, now I feel like shit.

I can hear him mumbling to himself as he continues his pacing.

"If only I had gotten there a few minutes earlier then she never would have run to me like that."

I stand up and step in front of him to stop his pacing but at the moment his back is to me.

"I know you're worried and angry, it was an accident. Don't blame yourself. You didn't know she would run off like that away from her teacher. "

He spins around so fast with a look of anger on his face and points his finger at me.

"An accident? An accident that could have been avoided. I have been doing everything your way to make you happy. This never would have happened back in Seattle, I should have just made your ass come home months ago. She would have been safe there with security, at home with you or even at the day care centre at Grey House where she wouldn't have to run across a fucking car park. I have only been in her life for less than a year and the moment I saw that car strike her all I could think is that that was all the time I would have with her. I'm so sick and tired of this back and forth bullshit."

My heart plummets into my stomach. I can't argue, everything he said is true. His words striking me like an arrow to the heart.

Just then the door opens and the doctor comes out smiling, with his outburst forgotten Christian takes my hand and we rush over to him.

Christian and I are sitting on opposite sides of Charlotte's hospital bed. My baby girl is asleep but she's fine. Tears of relief have been falling every now and then as I look at her and think of how much worse it could have been if that car was going any faster. She has a broken left arm which is in a cast where she fell on it awkwardly, a small cut to the head where she hit the ground, most possibly on a rock which required a couple of small stitches and some grazes and bruising on her cheek.

She starts to move around groaning in pain. When she fully wakes opening her eyes and seeing me she starts to cry.

"Mummy."

"Don't cry sweetheart. You're fine." I kiss her forehead while wiping her tears away.

"My arm hurts." She looks down at her cast.

"I know. It's broken. You had an accident at day care when daddy came to pick you up but it will heal and the cast will come off and you'll be good as new in no time. I'll get you some medicine for the pain, okay. In the meantime maybe we can decorate it with some colourful drawings to make it look pretty. What do you say?"

"I guess." She sounds so down my heart aches.

I look over at Christian who has barely said a word since we came into the room. His eyes are glued on to Charlotte with a sad smile. As I open my mouth to say something Charlie's doctor comes in to check on his patient. I step away to speak with him leaving Christian with Charlie across the room.

He tells us we will be able to take her home tomorrow morning and to keep an eye out for any dizziness. I thank him as he leaves turning to observe my daughter with her father. He has her smiling and giggling which warms my heart.

Not a minute after the doctor leaves my mother shows up carrying two cups of coffee in a tray and a teddy bear with a pink balloon tied to it.

"Hi darling. How is she?" She asks handing one of the cups to me.

"Fine, just a little banged up. I was so scared, mum. I never want to feel like that again."

She places her hand on my cheek.

"I know you were." Her eyes tell me she understands.

She walks over to Christian giving him the other cup.

"Here, I thought you could use this, the cafeteria stuff is awful."

"Thank you, Carla."

She leans over to give Charlotte a kiss and the teddy bear.

"And what trouble have you caused today young lady?" She jokes.

"Nothing." Charlie laughs hugging the bear with her good arm.

"Okay, Bob is parking the car, now that I'm here go home, have a shower." She points to Christian who's shirt has dried blood over it. "Change, have something to eat then come back."

We try to argue with her but she's not having it so we thank her and make our way to my car after promising Charlotte we'll be back very soon.

The drive home is quiet and tense, Christian hasn't said a word the entire time and I don't know if he's angry with me or blaming himself.

When we get home Christian opens the front door, heading straight to the shower leaving me behind. With a sigh I close the door and slowly follow him to the bedroom where and I sit on the edge of my bed cover my face and sob while listening to the water running in the bathroom.

I have no idea how long I've been crying for until I feel Christian's arms around me pulling me onto his lap. His chest still wet from the shower soaking my own top. I bury my face into his neck taking in his comforting scent.

"Baby what's wrong, why are you crying?" He asks worriedly.

"I was watching the two of you and despite everything we went through I'm so glad you're her father. You made her smile. I love how loving caring and protective you are of her, of both of us. She's strong and determined just like you."

"And you." He tells me.

I pull back to be able to see his face.

"You must hate me, everything you said at the hospital is true."

"Oh, Ana, I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I was just upset."

He places a soft kiss on my lips.

"You're right though. I haven't been very fair to you but I do love you. So much. Take me home."

He looks at me as if I'm crazy, not understanding.

"You are home?" He questions.

"No I mean take me home to Seattle. Now."

"What?" I think I shocked him.

"I mean it, no more waiting, I don't want to waste any more time."

"We're doing this? You're 100% sure?"

"I'm 1000% sure." I give him a massive grin.

I don't believe I have ever seen a larger smile than the one I get back in response. His whole face and eyes have lit up. I observe so much love being reflected back at me I need to swallow the lump of emotion in my throat.

His warm hands caress my cheeks. One of this thumbs running across my lower lip.

"Oh, Ana." Kiss. "You have just made me so fucking happy."

Taking me by surprise he pushes me down on the mattress, I squeal and start laughing but quickly stop when he covers my body with his naked one, his mouth captures mine, his tongue immediately darting out and seeking entrance which I gladly and willingly give.

I run my hands along his muscular back, reaching down I rip the towel off his waist throwing it across the room.

In less than ten seconds he has me completely naked, I think I heard something tear and then he's thrusting and pushing his way into my body, trying to get as deep as he can, my head and back arching back as pleasure shoots throughout both our bodies.

"I need you." He groans as I feel him pull out before slamming back in.

All the worry and stress of the last few hours have had our emotions all over the place, we need this life affirming connection with each other.

"Please, Christian." I need more, I need to feel him everywhere, to consume me.

"I love you." He pants across my throat.

"I love you."

I have a tight grip on his biceps grounding myself to him as I match his movements, our eyes locked on each other communicating so much without words.

His thrusts start off wild, his hips crashing into mine hard and fast as he takes me, in and out hitting the magic spot within. Using his hand he lifts my knee hooking my leg across his hip and lower back giving him greater access to move more freely and deeper yet.

Grabbing the back of his head I pull his face to mine kissing him deeply and pouring all my love for him into it. It's passionate and needy. With our tongues duelling he slows down, prolonging our lovemaking, barely moving and giving me the friction I need. I groan in frustration.

"Please!" I beg, I need to cum, I'm so close.

He rises up on his knees, pulling my hips up with him then speeds up once more, in and about with a punishing rhythm, I feel him grow even thicker telling me he's close too along with his heavy panting and grunts. His hand comes between us where his fingers plays with my clit pushing me closer to the edge and as soon as his teeth take a hold of my nipple and bite down I'm gone, I'm flying as immense blissful pleasure shoots out from my core causing me to forget where I am for a brief moment.

"You feel so fucking amazing, all I need is you, baby," he grits out through his teeth.

We both climax, exploding at the same time, calling out garbled versions of each other's names. My body has a tight hold of him inside me continuing to squeeze him not wanting to release him just yet. We continue to kiss gently, getting our breathing under control as he softens and slips out of my body.

Laying spent in his arms my head on his chest I listen to his steady heartbeat while he plays with my hair.

Looking around my bedroom I'm going to miss this place but I'm going where I'm meant to be, where I've always belonged and where my heart was left behind.

"Come on, let's eat and get back to our daughter." Christian says with a kiss to my head as he gets up from the bed.

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing. Some of your comments for the last chapter made me laugh. I don't think there is much more left to tell in this story so there are probably only a couple of chapters left. If there is anything you would like to see please let me know.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 18**

 **APOV**

It has been two weeks since Charlotte's accident and the scariest day of my life. Christian has been here with us the whole time refusing to leave without us again, not now that we're to go back with him. She is her usual happy self and there seem to be no lasting effects. The stitches in her head were removed yesterday and the graze on her cheek is all but healed. We kept her home for the first week from day care since Christian was here to look after her while I was at work and I felt better knowing she was at home with him in case anything happened.

The best part has been having him in my bed, cuddled around me, feeling content and safe under the covers without having to think about when he's leaving again and counting down the days of when the three of us will be together again. If I'm honest with myself each time he got on that plane I had a fear that something will go wrong and he won't make it here or back home, however I won't need to worry about that again, at least not until he needs to take a business trip somewhere.

We sat down and talked after Charlie was in bed the day we brought her home from the hospital about getting us all back in Seattle and how quickly it can be done. If Christian had it his day we would have left the very next day. Only one more week left and we'll be locking up this house and moving our lives to the other side of the country.

When we told Charlotte that we're moving back to Seattle with daddy for good, no more leaving and traveling she stared at us with her big wide gray eyes, not moving, I think we may have shocked her or she didn't quite believe us. Once the news sunk in she let out a loud screech which I think was supposed to sound like the word 'yes', she hugged us both so tightly around the neck then rushed into her room and started packing her dolls one handed into her back pack.

Going into work on the Monday after Charlie's accident and knowing that I was about to resign had my stomach tied up in knots. James has been so good to me and I feel terrible leaving him so suddenly with less than a month's notice. I recall my hands shaking as I knocked on his door first thing when I got there, no point in putting it off and working myself up even more.

 _"_ _Morning, Ana." He greets me happily looking up from his computer screen._

 _"_ _Morning, James, listen can I talk to you for a minute.' I sit in the chair in front of his desk._

 _"_ _Certainly, what's on your mind?"_

 _"_ _This is really difficult for me to say because we have become friends outside the office. I have enjoyed working here with you and appreciated the chance you took on me when you hired me but I have decided to move back to Seattle, I'll be leaving in three weeks' time. I know it's short notice, I'm sorry but I'll help you try and find a replacement for me."_

 _He looks at me with a kind smile._

 _"_ _It was bound to happen eventually. Don't feel bad about it, Ana I knew this day was going to come sooner or later when I learned who your ex and Charlotte's father is. Who keeps Christian Grey waiting right?" He jokes. Well…me apparently. "You have truly been an asset to me, Ana, and I know my wife and the girls will miss the two of you. Keep in touch."_

 _"_ _Thank you and we will. We'll be back to visit my mothered often so perhaps we can organise for the girls to have a play date and catch up every so often."_

Most of the large and important things have been sorted out. I'm going to keep the house , considering that we will be coming back often to visit my mother, it gives us a place to stay, Christian has already looked into a company to maintain its upkeep while it sits empty. It would have hurt to let the house go, Charlotte spent the first years of her life here and it's full of memories for us when it was just the two of us. My car, which Christian hates so much, I'm leaving with my mother to sell.

Christian brought up the conversation of where we're going to live once we are back in Seattle. I had assumed it would be at Escala but he doesn't want that.

 _"_ _I was thinking of buying a house for us." He announces over dinner._

 _I place my cutlery down on my plate and I look at him._

 _"_ _Why? I thought we were going to live at the penthouse."_

 _"_ _No. I mean it's fine for the time being but I want something new and bigger if you agree."_

 _"_ _Escala is not exactly small but sure, if that will make you happy, I just want us to be together, I don't care where that is." I tell him._

 _He takes a hold of my hand on the table._

 _"_ _I want us to start fresh in a new home, a house with a backyard where Charlotte can run around and we can make new happy memories. A place where our future children will grow up one day, I want BBQ's and water balloon fights in our backyard in the summer, maybe even a dog."_

 _I picture what he just described to me, it sounds like a perfect dream, my heart fills with a hopeful joy and I get glassy eyed._

 _"_ _I want that too."_

 _"_ _Are we getting a puppy?" Charlie pipes up, of course that's all she heard._

 _"_ _No." I answer her._

 _"_ _Maybe." Christian then says._

After some research Christian found two possible houses for us to move in to which were for sale in the area he wanted. Of the two choices I preferred the one by the water and so did he. We have an appointment next Wednesday evening to go see it with the realtor and I'm super excited.

It is a beautiful dark brick two storey home, from the pictures I have seen online the rear of the house has stone steps leading down to a massive yard and amazing view of the lake. I'm optimistic the pictures do it justice and when I see it in person I won't be disappointed.

Another topic of conversation was work. We spoke about it at length and I agreed to wait a couple of months until Charlotte and I are settled in and we've moved into the house before looking for work. He has agreed to not interfere and let me do this on my own, I would love nothing more than to go back to SIP that I may take him up on his offer about going back. We'll have to wait and see I suppose.

There are packing boxes everywhere in every room of the house, I have spent at least two hours each day packing things away in them. Christian has already organised for some of them to be shipped off already back to Escala. You never have any idea of how much crap and stuff you actually own until you need to pack it all in boxes.

It's a beautiful Saturday with the sun shining. Christian and I are standing in the kitchen having finished cleaning up after lunch while Charlotte has gone to play in the backyard. This time next week we'll be back in Seattle and settling in to the next phase of our life and future.

With my back to him Christian boxes me in against the counter within his arms, kissing the back of my neck causing tingles to run down my spine.

"You know what I'm looking forward to once we move into our house."

"What?"

"Christening every room and piece of furniture with you." He breathes against my neck.

His words have me clenching my thighs at the delicious images they produce.

"With a child around? Good luck with that." I tease him.

"She has to sleep sometime." He replies as his hands wrap around my waist pulling me into his chest where I feel his erection poking my back.

I turn around in his arms taking his face in my hands, bringing his lips to mine. His hands automatically find themselves on my ass, I take a step closer to him as our kiss begins to get heated with our tongues duelling for dominance. His lips release mine as they move lower across my jaw and neck. I tilt my head back letting out a sigh.

The spell however is broken when we hear Charlotte give out a high pitched scream.

We both run out the back door down the steps and into the yard, Christian reaching her first.

"Charlie what's wrong?" He demands falling to his knees beside her.

She's standing there with her cast sticking out whimpering, has she hurt herself, is she in pain?

"There's a bug on me. Get it off." She cries frightened shaking her arm.

I take a closer look at her cast and start laughing.

I kneel down and take away the offending insect.

"Sweety, it's only a ladybug, they're harmless and meant to be good luck. Look."

I show her there's nothing to be afraid of as I let the little thing crawl around my hand.

"No, take it away."

She shies away shielding herself into her father's arms who is chuckling at her display and kisses her on the head.

"You know, it probably liked the flower we drew on your cast which is why it landed on there. Don't be scared, you're my brave girl remember." Christian tells her sticking his own hand out. I place the ladybug in his hand watching as he brings it closer. Charlie has tensed up but is staying with her father observing the creature as it moves round.

"Does it tickle?"

"Not at all. Do you want to try holding it?"

"Nope." She shakes her head. "Okay get rid of it now."

With another laugh Christian shakes his hand making it fly away. With that Charlotte is off and playing again.

"She gets that from you Ms Squeamish."

"Hey, I may freak out at spiders and cockroaches but I can handle a few bugs thank you very much." I get up off the grass placing my hands on my hips.

"Yeah, remind of that next time you're screaming for me to kill one of them."

XXXXX

I'm sitting on the GEH jet, looking at the clouds through the tiny window flying home. Home, it's a funny word, it has a lot of different meaning to different people, to some it's where one permanently lives, or where your family is, some people have a deep attachment to a home and early memories of childhood, to me home has always been where I have been the happiest, where my heart feels whole. Years ago that was anywhere Christian was, then it was whenever I held my daughter in my arms, the day Christian showed up again I learned that my heart wasn't whole and I hated him all over again, but he changed that, with his patience and determination he completed me and Charlotte too, created the family unit we were always meant to be. So here we are almost home, most of our belongings were sent back yesterday, so the only things the three of us have with us are our small carry-on bags.

We said goodbye to mum and Bob last night having gone over to their place for dinner. I cried lots of tears like a big baby when I hugged her at the end of the night. I'll miss seeing her several times a week after being so close to her for so long. Without her to turn to when I was pregnant I have no idea what I would have done. Not that I couldn't have done it on my own but I would rather not have. Sure I had Ray but I couldn't burden him like that. He would have taken us in no questions asked but it wouldn't have been fair to him and I needed to be as far away from Christian at the same time.

Being on the plane feels different this time, there is no time limit on our stay, this is forever. I'm trying to imagine life once our day to day routine sets in. Will things between Christian and I change at all? We need to look at schools for Charlotte in a few months' time. Will she like living here permanently once the novelty of it wears off, no doubt she will love the fact that her parents are together in one place again but what about dealing with security everywhere we go, starting at the new day care in Grey House, making new friends. I'm probably worrying over nothing but I can't help it.

Charlotte has been like the energizer bunny, not sitting still at all, running up and down the aisle eager to get to Seattle and back to her princess bedroom. Christian has just set her up in the back with a movie when he comes takes his seat beside me.

"You okay, you've been very quiet." He notes with a kiss to my temple.

"I'm fine, just thinking about things, this a big change, for all of us."

"But a good one right?" He asks with a worried look on his face, afraid I may change my mind.

"The best." I reassure him with a kiss.

Riding the elevator up to the penthouse, Christian has a tight hold of my waist, Charlotte is counting the floors on the screen as we ascend, we both grin at each other stupidly knowing this is our first night here permanently and not just for a visit and that it will be a memorable one to say the least if the way he's been caressing every inch of my exposed skin for the past two hours.

Stepping in to the living room we're surprised by all the Greys that are waiting for us in the apartment with a large hand painted welcome home sign and smiles on their faces. A delicious smell is wafting from the kitchen, I look that way and see the breakfast bar is covered in food and I'm suddenly starving. Grace and Carrick come up and hug me first, Mia is holding Ava and Charlotte runs off and up to her cousin who then disappear to her bedroom together. Elliot and Kate who's cradling baby Emily come up to us. I take the baby and hold her for a minute admiring her, she has grown and changed so much since the last time I saw her. I hand her back to her mother and am engulfed in a massive hug by Elliot.

"Things are finally as they should be." He whispers in my ear. He steps back before yelling "Let's eat!"

I was anticipating a quite night not a welcoming party, seeing them all here tonight I feel like a true part of the family once again.

"Did you know about this?" I ask Christian turning towards him.

He shakes his head at me.

"Not a clue. Welcome home, baby."

I wrap my arms around his neck and rise on my tip toes giving him a kiss.

I'm home.

 **A/N: So that was more of a filler chapter and I really struggled with it so I apologise for it sucking. Next chapter will be Christian's POV and he will be having an important conversation with Ray.**

 **As usual thank you all for reading and your reviews.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 19**

 **CPOV**

After months of uncertainty, heartache and worry and second guessing myself I have them back, they're home and I have never felt more at peace or complete. It wasn't easy, I never imagined that it would be, I knew I would have to work hard and beg and apologise just to get Ana to listen to me and give me a chance. By some miracle I managed to work my way back into her heart.

When Ana told me to take her home out of the blue she shocked me, at first I couldn't believe what I was hearing, granted it was sooner than we had previously spoken about but I wasn't going to complain. Seeing the certainty and love in her eyes I could barely contain my eagerness and joy. This woman will never stop amazing me so I brought them back as soon as was practical and now here we all are under one roof every morning and every night from now on.

Where would I be today if I never had to have that check up and saw that doctor? I truly think I most likely would still be that angry, selfish asshole who pushed everyone away, still be drowning myself with alcohol to forget and spending my time working myself to death and still blaming her for everything that went wrong. Thankfully that is no longer the man I am.

Waking up on our first morning here together in our bed I watch her sleep, her naked body radiating heat where she is draped over me. Her hair spread over her pillow, her little breaths blowing across my chest, she's the most perfect and beautiful creature, my morning erection begging to have her but after last night I should let her sleep but I'm selfish and won't ever have enough of her. I kiss her face, she scrunches her nose in annoyance and turns herself around giving me her back.

I take her right leg and pull it back holding it between my own opening her body up to me, one arm is trapped underneath her where she is laying on it, my hand grabbing her full breast, my thumb caressing her nipple, I feel it pucker underneath my touch while my free hand finds her folds. I run my fingers lightly up and down her sex playing with her, circling her entrance and hear her breath hitch.

I know the exact moment she's awake from the circling movement of her hips. I slowly insert one finger in her warmth gaining a moan from her lips, her juices already coating my finger. I begin moving it in and out of her, her head falling back against my chest as she pants, her hands taking hold of my wrist of the hand that's working her over. I push my erection into her ass, grinding against it in order to get closer and press my palm to her clit rubbing it at the same time as I enter a second finger into her warmth stretching her.

I continue my ministrations, pulling the arm that is trapped underneath her up and around her neck, peppering kisses on her throat, the muscles of her pussy contracting around me as I bring her closer to her release.

"Let go, baby."

With an exhale of my name she cums around my hand, her legs tensing as her orgasm floods my fingers, her core gripping me even tighter.

She shuffles onto her back smiling sleepily at me, I hover over her, fist my erection and guide it to her sex slowly entering her until I'm seated deep within groaning into her neck. _Fucking heaven!_

Laying sated afterwards I'm running my hand up and down Ana's back. It's nearing eight o'clock and Charlie will be getting up soon.

"What are your plans for the day?"

I need to go into the office to look over some paperwork for a few hours after breakfast but plan on being back by lunchtime if I can. Ana snuggles closer to me before answering.

"Hmm…unpacking and maybe go visit Kate and the girls for a while." Her words die off and she holds onto my waist a little tighter.

I take hold of her hair at her nape and gently use it to pull her face up so I can see it. Her small smile not reaching her eyes.

"What is it?" I can tell something is on her mind.

She shakes her head at me.

"Nothing, I'm being silly."

"There's no such thing, please talk to me."

She settles back onto my chest.

"It's just, I used to dream of this, of being together again but it was a dream I never allowed myself to actually believe would happen, now that we're here I don't know, everything has been going so well, I don't want to sound insecure and afraid because I'm not but I guess I'm still adjusting to being back here for good. I know what it's like to be alone and I never want to have those feelings of being without you again."

I wrap my arms around her kissing the top of her head.

"That will never happen. I know the feeling of being without you too, Ana, I never want to live like that again either. I love you and I promise I will prove how much I do every single day."

XXXXX

Since coming back to Seattle and going about my days at work I've been walking on cloud nine. I knew having them home would make me happy but I had no understanding of just how much joy it would bring, waking up and seeing Charlotte doing something as simple as watching cartoons in the living room or the knowledge that Ana is at the penthouse waiting for me and not on the other side of the country has brought a sense of peace, as if everything if finally right in my life and the way it should be.

I come home to find Ana and Charlie in the kitchen making cupcakes for dessert. I stand back admiring and observing them, they're both smiling and giggling over the mess Charlotte has made of herself with the icing as Ana attempts to clean her. Watching them I get an idea to surprise them. After watching Trolls last week Charlie has become obsessed with that movie and the song, she asks to play it every day so I downloaded it onto my phone for her. I take my phone out of my pocket and find what I'm looking for pressing play, the song coming through loudly on the connected blue tooth speakers in the apartment.

 _I got this feeling inside my bones  
It goes electric, wavey when I turn it on  
All through my city, all through my home  
We're flying up, no ceiling, when we in our zone_

They both look up on hearing the music wondering who put it on. I sway over to them grabbing Ana by the hips and start dancing, I take her hand and twirl her round and around the kitchen before dipping her. I lay a quick kiss on her surprised face then lift her back up and continue to move us around.

 _I got that sunshine in my pocket  
Got that good soul in my feet  
I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops  
I can't take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally  
Room on lock, the way we rock it, so don't stop_

 _And under the lights when everything goes  
Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close  
When we move, well, you already know  
So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine_

Charlie is watching us giggling, clapping and moving in her seat.

"Me too!" She puts her arms out reaching for me. I pick her up into my arms up and begin jumping around with her as we sing. Ana continues to dance on her own for a while before grabbing her phone to film us.

 _Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance  
A feeling good, good, creeping up on you  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on  
All those things I shouldn't do  
But you dance, dance, dance  
And ain't nobody leaving soon, so keep dancing  
I can't stop the feeling  
So just dance, dance, dance  
I can't stop the feeling  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on_

When the song is over Charlie cheers and claps. "That was fun."

This right here, the love and happiness in this room is what I wanted to achieve, my goal from the moment I began working to get Ana back, the ability to be silly with my family, to feel like a kid again, nothing will take my joy away again.

"What was that all about?" Ana smiles at me.

Out of breath I lean down to kiss her lips while still holding Charlie.

"Just happy."

XXXXX

It's Friday morning and I'm sitting in Charlie Tango preparing to fly myself and Taylor to Montesano to go visit Ray. With the pre-flight checks done I lift us up into the air and begin our short trip. I have flown hundreds if not thousands of times yet somehow this particular trip is probably the most important one I have had to make. A lot is riding on today.

After landing on top of one of the tallest buildings in the city centre we take the elevator down to the car Taylor organised for us and drive to Ray's house. Its neat lawn and flower beds together with the dark blue window shutters give the place a welcoming feel.

"I shouldn't be too long, Taylor."

I exit the car and take the few steps to his door knocking on it. I called him yesterday to ask to meet with him, I was pretty certain I would have to beg, that he would turn me down, but he surprised me by agreeing to this today.

I hate lying to Ana about my whereabouts but I need to do this and she would only worry. She's spending today with my mother who asked her to come along and assist at a meeting for a charity event she's organising for the children's hospital. It will give Ana something to do to and make her feel useful. I understand her need to keep busy, she's been working for the last few years not used to having so much idle time on her hands.

We met with the real estate agent and went to see the house on Wednesday. It was perfect, Ana fell in love with it which is all I hoped for. Ana wants to decorate it herself to turn it into our home, saying it will feel more personal than hiring a decorator. We should be able to move in to it in about a month's time and I seriously cannot wait, it will be the fresh start we need.

As I imagine all the future holidays and birthdays we will spend in that house the door opens up and there stands Ray with a stoic expression on his face.

"Christian."

"Ray."

"Come on in."

He moves away from the door allowing me to enter. I follow him into his living room and take a seat on his brown leather sofa opposite him in a matching armchair. My eyes find a framed photo of Ana and Charlotte on his side table beside the couch. It was taken at a park, Charlie looks so small, they're both coming down the slide with Charlie on Ana's lap, both of them laughing and looking cute.

"Coffee?" He offers, trying to be a polite host.

"No, thank you." I shake my head and let out a breath.

"So…" He indicates with his hands outstretched pretty much telling me to start talking.

 _Right, of course._

"I know I'm not your favourite person, Ray but it's important for us to get along, put all the animosity behind us for the sake of my family. I know Ana has filled you in a little about my accident."

"She has."

"So I hope you can understand why it took me so long to come back for them. I never intended to let so much time pass."

I spend a few minutes explaining to him my struggles during that time and the thought of Ana and my child getting me through it, being the motivation to not give up.

"Even so, that doesn't excuse your behaviour from all those years ago. You were cruel to her."

"I was." I agree with him.

"You promised me you would look after her and what did you do?"

"I KNOW, OKAY! I know. What do you want me to say? All I can do is apologise, which I have." Fuck! Does he want my apology written in blood?

He crosses his arms across his chest.

"Why should I trust you anything you say this time?"

"When I discovered my colossal error I admit I was responsible for fucking everything up, that I destroyed our relationship, Ana and whatever love she ever had for me. That it was my own fault I didn't know my child. You know your daughter, if she didn't believe with her whole heart that I had changed and that this would work out between us she never would have agreed to giving me a second chance. You know what, I may not be good enough for her but no one will ever love her the way I do."

"You know, you raise them, watch them grow, and one day have to let them go, to live their own lives hoping they make the right decisions and are happy. Yet you are still there for them if you're needed. It broke my heart to see my Annie so broken, watching her put herself back together. Fine, I will make more of an effort only because I don't want to upset Ana unnecessarily. Is that all? Why are you really here today, Christian?"

Time to lay my cards on the table so to speak.

I clear my throat.

"I love Ana and Charlotte, they are my whole world. I know I have made mistakes and treated her badly. But I've grown up and am no longer that person. I have managed to get my family back together. I want to marry her, be her husband, make her happy, give her everything she could ever desire, so I am here to ask for your blessing. I'm not asking for your permission because I'm going to propose to her regardless but I know that it would mean a lot to Ana to have your blessing."

He stares at me, I feel like he's seeing straight into my soul and discovering my darkest secrets.

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you what would happen if you ever treat my daughter horribly again."

"That will never happen. I get it now, I do. If anyone treats Charlotte badly I would be the first one ready to kill them." I reassure him.

He continues to look at me as he is deep in thought. I feel the seconds pass, it could be minutes but I refuse to break eye contact with him.

"Very well." He nods

That's as much as I'm going to get from him and I'll take it.

I stand shaking his hand and leave his house to get back home to my girls.

Now I just need to plan the perfect proposal.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 20**

 **1 month later**

 **APOV**

It's been a little over a month since moving back to Seattle. It's been an incredible month although we've had a bit of a learning curve living together again permanently, not that Christian is messy but the state of the bathroom after he has used it is something else, I just don't understand how a person can get water everywhere, when he used to stay in Georgia with me I guess he was more careful or cleaned up after himself. My favourite time of day is the quiet moment in the evening after we have put Charlotte to bed, we sit on the couch cuddled up enjoying the peace and each other's company. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe this is my life now.

When I look at myself in the mirror I see a happy woman, one who looks forward to seeing what each new day will bring. Charlotte and I were happy in Georgia, no doubt about that but this is a different kind of happiness, there's a light in my eyes that even I have noticed which was missing. Things between Christian and I are even better than the first time around if that's possible. I suppose we have both matured and are not letting the insignificant little things become issues, we have wasted enough time apart to allow trivial matters to come between us now.

I've been keeping busy with decorating our new house, furniture shopping and meeting Elliot out there a few times to go over what we would like. He and his crew have worked hard to have it finished quickly and ready to be moved into next week. When I walk in through the front door it feels like home, which is what I wanted, to feel a vibe of warmth and being welcome. Charlie's room is everything a little wanna be princess could imagine, my favourite place in the house besides our bedroom would have to be the upstairs hallway where I have framed and hung some of Charlotte's artwork, I love walking past them, it always puts a smile on my face and will remain a timeless reminder of her childhood.

We've settled into a routine, Christian takes Charlotte a couple of days a week to Grey House with him when he knows he's not going to have a long day, he drops her off at the day care centre a few floors below his office with a guard at the door and she has made new friends there which I hear all about afterwards, well that's the plan but most times she ends up playing in his office as he works. On those days I spend time working on charity events for the hospital alongside Grace. There's a fundraiser coming up for the children's ward which I'm enjoying helping to organise, I'm proud and grateful to be able to help out but it's made me realise I miss books and the world of publishing so much. We've settled in without any major issues so I don't see the point in waiting to get back to work doing what I love.

Speaking of work last week I emailed an old colleague from SIP which I had kept in touch with over the years and who I considered a friend. Hannah was always so nice and sweet to work with, so every few months we would correspond. I put it out there asking how things have been since I left and that I may be interested in returning if there are any openings. She called me back later that day and after chatting put me through to the head of human resources, a lovely lady named Linda, she knew of me and of the work I used to do for the company and was more than willing to meet with me, so I have a job interview next week. I made Christian promise not to interfere, he just said they'd be crazy to not want me back.

Waking up on a sunny Saturday morning I turn my head towards Christian's side of the bed to see it empty except for an iPad that has been left on his pillow with a post it note stuck to it.

 **We've gone out for breakfast, thought we'd let you sleep in.**

 **Watch this to put a smile on your face.**

I'm a little hurt they went without me but I've been fighting a cold and not sleeping very well so I understand Christian wanting me to rest. I sit up in the bed, adjusting my pillows and leaning against the headboard I bend my knees, place the device on my legs and get comfortable to watch whatever it is that's on there.

The screen comes to life with Christian and Charlie sitting at the piano, he starts to play a tune then I hear their voices as they start to sing a duet.

 _You and me together we'll be  
Forever you'll see  
We two can be good company  
You and me_

 _Yes, together we two  
Together, that's you  
Forever with me  
We'll always be good company_

 __

 _You and me  
Together we'll be  
Forever, you'll see  
We'll always be good company  
You and me  
Just wait and see_

They give each other a high five once the song has finished.

"Come meet us at the house at 11 o'clock, baby," Christian says and the screen goes black.

That was amazing, the cutest thing ever, my cheeks hurt form the large smile on my face. I love seeing these kinds of moments between them.

He has been such an amazing father to Charlotte, he would do absolutely anything for her, suffice it to say she has him wrapped around her little finger and she looks up to him so much. The way they have bonded, you would never guess that he has only been in her life for less than a year. It's been almost one whole year since he reappeared in our lives. That day he showed up and I laid eyes on him again I could have murdered him in cold blood there and then, I had no idea what would have transpired afterwards and that we would find ourselves here, so much can change so quickly, life is short and sometimes there are no second chances, I guess we're one of the lucky few.

I try to call Christian to tell them I loved their little performance but he doesn't answer. Hmm…very odd, he always answers when I call.

I shower, dress in a red sundress, flats and long black cardigan. I enjoy time alone as much as the next person but being here on my own this morning is weird, I miss them and the apartment is too quiet. After a quick breakfast of yoghurt and muesli Sawyer drives me over to the house.

As soon as he pulls up in the driveway my phone beeps with an incoming text message, I pull my phone out of my bag.

 **Christian: Follow the rose petals**

What?

Sawyer opens my door, as I step out of the car I look down at my feet where I notice the red, pink and white rose petals making a winding path around the house leading to the back. Their scent is wafting in the air around me. I walk over them following the flowery path halfway across the backyard. The path stops at the steps of a white gazebo. When was this placed here, it wasn't here last weekend which was the last time I was here. It's decorated with twinkling fairy light and white flowers. I take the three steps up to the centre of it, an outdoor glass table and white wicker chair setting has been placed in it.

Wow, it's so beautiful. I feel like I'm in a fairy tale standing here surrounded by all the romance created by the sparkling blooms.

I find another iPad which has been placed on the table with a white card on it.

 **Watch me** , it reads.

I shake my head, how many iPads does this man have?

Picking it up in my hands I remove the note and play the video. A familiar tune starts, my heart launches up into my throat upon hearing the first lyrics.

 _You don't run with the crowd  
You go your own way  
You don't play after dark  
You light up my day  
Got your own kind of style  
That sets you apart  
Baby, that's why you captured my heart_

 __

 _I know sometimes you feel like you don't fit in  
And this world doesn't know what you have within  
When I look at you, I see something rare  
A rose that can grow anywhere (grow anywhere)  
And there's no one I know that can compare_

 __

 _What makes you different, (alright) makes you beautiful (alright)  
What's there inside you, (alright) shines through to me  
In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need  
You're all I need, oh girl  
What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me_

I see photo after photo of Christian and I from when we were first together appear before my eyes, we look so young and carefree in them to more recent ones with Charlotte. I didn't even know he had some of these. So many great and happy memories pass on the screen before me.

Charlie pops up on the screen smiling. It looks like she's standing in Christian's study, I'm just able to make out the edge of the couch in there in the corner of the screen.

"Hi, Mummy," she waves, "I'm helping daddy with a surprise. Ready?"

When did they do this, she's wearing the purple top she had on three days ago but I don't recall them disappearing.

She kneels down then comes back up holding up large pieces of cardboard and begins showing them to me one by one, letting each one drop to the floor at her feet as she goes after every few seconds as the song continues to play in the background.

 _You don't know (you don't know) how you touched my life (touched my life)  
Oh in so many ways (so many ways) I just can't describe  
You taught me what love is supposed to be  
It's all the little things that make you beautiful to me (so beautiful)_

 **Hi Mummy….guess what?**

 **You're amazing in every way.**

 **Everything you do for us makes us feel special.**

 **I love our family but there's something missing.**

 **You're not a Grey.**

 **Not really my favourite colour but….**

 **Wouldn't it be cool if I was your flower girl?**

 **I would be so cute.**

 **Sooo…..**

 **Will you marry daddy?**

 **Turn around.**

Tears started falling down my cheeks after reading the fifth card Charlotte held up when I caught on to what was happening.

I'm shocked and surprised. My mind has gone blank. My legs feel numb.

Putting the iPad down with shaky hands I turn around on my heels and there Christian is looking all handsome and sexy in a gray suit and white shirt, the top buttons undone revealing the skin of his upper chest.

I cover my face with my hands sobbing suddenly becoming overwhelmed by my feelings and what's occurring.

Usually I know the exact moment he is in my proximity, this time I didn't even feel him come up behind me. He pulls my hands away so he can see my face, taking one of my hands in his wiping the tears away with his other one.

"Don't cry." He whispers with a smile.

Looking into his eyes they are emanating nothing but adoration. I'm certain the same look is being reflected back at him from my own.

I swallow the lump in my throat, I try to speak but nothing comes out. I honestly had no idea this was going to happen today. Sure we have talked about getting married but I figured he wouldn't propose for a few more months at least, trust Christian to not want to wait.

"You look beautiful." He tells me while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Thank you. Where's Charlotte?"

"Inside with Taylor, probably watching out one of the windows."

I chuckle because it's most likely true.

"Did you like the videos?" He asks shyly.

"I loved them, both of them." I say cupping his cheek.

He takes a deep breath in and out before taking hold of my free hand.

"In my life I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've hurt, I've made mistakes but most of all I've learned. I will never take for granted this second chance you've given me.

"It's always been a mystery to me how two hearts can come together and how love can last forever but we have that. From the first time I laid eyes on you, you owned me. Even over the years that we were apart my heart still beat only for you. I've never been so sure of anything in my life but you. I was sure the first time I did this but even more certain now.

"You are everything I need, you make all my dreams come true because you are my dream come true. I'm a better man for having you by my side and I promise to be everything you need.

"I promise that wherever you may go, wherever life may lead you, with all my heart I'll be there too and from this moment on I want you to know that I'll never let anything come between us.

"I love you. Mind, body and soul. It belongs to you. I will love you more with every single passing day. We will grow old and gray together and sit here under this gazebo reminiscing over the many memories we are going to make. I will make sure you have a smile on your face every day. You're for me and I'm for you because my world just can't be right without you in my life.

"Besides your heart you have given me the greatest gift possible, and that's Charlotte. When I looked into her eyes for the first time my whole world was changed. I felt a love I had never known before, she matters more than me or anything anymore next to you. I didn't know what I was missing now everyday I'll hold her close and cherish every moment. So thank you, Anastasia. She and you are all that I live for."

"Christian…" I murmur not quite knowing how to respond to such heart felt words.

He kneels down before me, my heart is about to beat out of my chest, these damn tears won't stop falling, making my vision blurry. He is saying such beautiful words which I want to remember forever.

He releases my left hand then pulls a ring out of his pants pocket presenting it to me between his fingers. The white gold, oval cut diamond ring is shining with perfection as the sunlight hits it. I can sense his nerves through his unsteady hand.

"Anastasia Rose Steele, will you marry me?"

Trying to get my emotions under control I nod. "Yes… absolutely."

As soon as he has slid the ring on my finger he stands gathering me in his arms, crashing my body into his, his hands wrapped around my waist, I lean in kissing his warm lips, he plunges his tongue into my mouth turning the kiss passionate and fiery. I lift my hands and slide them through his hair. His body heat radiating into mine and I feel alive. "I love you so much, Ana" he whispers across my lips, my heart flutters at his voice. "I love you too." The world falls away as we continue to kiss, in our own private little bubble in our backyard. This kiss is a promise, a promise of love and devotion and of more to come.

I hear Charlotte squealing as she runs up the steps of the gazebo and to us in a pretty silver dress to match her father. Christian pulls away and picks her up bringing her into our embrace. Her grin is infectious as she wraps her little arms around each of our necks. "Our surprise worked, kiddo," Christian says to her then kisses her on the cheek before laying another soft kiss on my lips.

"My girls." He says in awe. "Let's go to the house, I think some people might be waiting to help celebrate."

He made this a perfect moment. I love the fact that he had Charlotte help him in proposing, making it all the more special and magical. I know the last few years cannot be undone or totally forgotten but they can be let go and left in the past where they belong. We have our future to live.

 **Songs: You and Me from Oliver and Company**

 **What Makes You Beautiful by Backstreet Boys**

 **Thank you to Carol for the duet song idea**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 21**

 **APOV**

Five weeks after Christian's amazing proposal we find ourselves in Musha Cay in the Bahamas. We arrived in a small chartered plane two days ago with our families, along with Gail, Taylor, Ros and Gwen. I slept most of the way here feeling exhausted after the last few hectic weeks.

The past weeks have indeed been busy. On top of planning this wedding I had my job interview which went great, better than I even expected. I was offered a job to come back as an assistant editor until I got the hang of things again that same day, I was ecstatic, as soon as I had stepped out of the doors I did a little happy dance there on the sidewalk. I had to double check and make sure that Christian didn't play a part in them taking me on so quickly but he assured me that it was all due to me. I start when we return to Seattle. There was no point commencing to only take a couple weeks off and they were willing to wait, I'm certain marrying the owner might have had something to do with that but regardless I'm super excited about getting back into publishing.

Christian and I also had an appointment with his doctor about having more children and the risk of passing on Christian's heart condition. He was nervous and I was anxious as we both sat in that waiting room. After a ten minute consultation he basically told us that there will always be that 50% chance that it can be inherited, that we were lucky that our daughter doesn't have it or perhaps my genes were just more dominant that time around. Then he went on to say there is no guarantee, but even if it does get passed on we can manage it, just like they do Christian's and there is always progress being made in the medical and scientific fields which may help. At the end of the day it's our decision and how much we truly want this.

Back at home that evening we had a lot to think and talk about and we told each other that there was no rush or pressure to make that choice now. The next day Christian asked whether we can start trying on our honeymoon and I agreed, so we pretty much had our answer. No matter what happens I know we'll deal with it together. After all I don't really want too much of a large age gap between Charlie and her sibling. So I threw my pills away two weeks ago when I got my period. He's determined to make a baby during our honeymoon.

Today is our wedding day. We finally made it here. I wake up alone with a giddy smile on my face that will not disappear.

Christian and I spoke about what we wanted and decided that we didn't need the big fancy wedding. The people who are most important to us are here to witness this and that's all that matters. He did some research then showed me photos of this place and I fell in love with it. We get to get away with our families, relax and get married at the same time. It was perfect.

The first time we were engaged I did the whole bride going crazy with planning and stressing out ensuring that everything was perfect but I didn't get to see that day come around. Now, none of that matters, who cares or pays attention to the colour of the napkins or if the ribbons match. The only important thing is me marrying the man who has my heart and the rest are minor stupid details.

This has to be the most incredibly beautiful place I have even seen. I turn on my side and glance out the large windows towards the water.

We're actually staying on an exclusive private island resort, with luxurious accommodation for up to 24 people only. When I found out it's costing almost $60,000 a night I freaked out, Christian said it was worth it and would pay double that if that was what it took to make me happy, to give me the perfect wedding. I shook my head at him, doesn't he realise I only need him and Charlotte to be happy.

It truly is like being in paradise. We're in the middle of nowhere surrounded by ocean, it's so peaceful you can hear the birds chirping fist thing in the morning. The sun shines down on you from the blue sky and you're surrounded by clear waters. Christian, Charlotte and I are staying in one of the villas right on the water, the back of the house leads to wooden stairs right down to a dock and the sea. From there if you look up the hill behind us you can see one of the other houses in the distance where some of the others are staying. We're also surrounded by trees and I don't think I have ever seen so many palm trees lining the beaches. My favourite part of the island though is the sand bar, it appears for only a few hours a day allowing you to walk across it, I feel as far away from the rest of the world as it is possible to get.

Last night after a family dinner Elliot dragged a pouting Christian away to do guy stuff while Charlie and I camped out with the girls in our villa having make-overs.

I slept in this morning, there was no big rush to get up as the ceremony is not until later in the afternoon. I have no idea how they're going to keep Christian busy all day and stop him coming over here. I know Grace took Charlotte over to him earlier so they're probably at the beach having a swim until it's time for her to return and get ready.

I laid there running over how much things have changed. As I look at the ring on my finger all I can think is how blessed and happy I am, no, not just me, how blessed we all are. Somehow I believe that if I wasn't such a coward and ran away all those years ago perhaps we wouldn't have found ourselves here now. They say everything happens for a reason, maybe if I never fell pregnant with Charlie and Christian and I ended up getting married it may not have worked out for us with the things he was keeping from me. I wouldn't change any of it though because I have loved and enjoyed every minute with my little girl. No more looking back, today our future starts and we have so much to look forward to.

After a light lunch of fruit and sandwiches I make my way to the bedroom to prepare getting ready and change. I bathed and dressed Charlie first, she's wearing some pink lip gloss across her lips wanting to have make-up like mummy. I've left my hair down over my shoulders in waves, with light make-up on my face. Trying to keep my dress a secret was difficult. Christian kept trying to sneak glances at it but I managed to hide it away successfully once we got here. I love the way I feel in it, it's body hugging with embroidery and lace up to my throat at the front, the back however is a different story. My entire back is exposed right down to my hip bone, however there is a see through mesh material over it with a long row of small pearl buttons running down the middle, lastly I slip on my white sandals, it is a beach wedding after all.

When I'm ready Charlotte and I take the few steps down from our villa and head towards the beach with Ray where Christian and the rest of the family is waiting for us.

We're having a very simple ceremony, getting married by the edge of the water as the sun sets but it's all we need to declare our love and commitment to each other in front of our loved ones.

I spot Christian in the distance standing by the ocean waiting for me, the waves as they hug the sand not quite reaching his feet with the sea breeze ruffling his hair. He's dressed in grey pants with a white button up shirt and tan loafers on his feet. It's way too warm to be in a tux. He stands beneath a beautiful flower arch covered in greenery and frangipanis by the edge of the water. He is gazing out to sea with his hands in his pockets, he may come across as calm and patient but the set of his shoulders tells me he is anything but. Hearing Charlotte's voice he turns around to watch her walk down with a proud smile.

I'm ready to walk along the white sand to my soon to be husband.

Husband. Christian Grey is about to become my husband and I his wife. I wasn't nervous before but right in this moment I need to take a deep breath and centre myself.

I stand back and wait a moment to watch Charlotte in her white and pink dress with a mini matching version of my bouquet of assorted coloured roses skip down to where her father is waiting. She was a nightmare last night, she was so excited there was no possible way to calm her down to go to sleep, in the end I put her into bed with me and we cuddled together until she drifted off no doubt dreaming of today. If she could she would have slept in her dress and tiara, Christian made sure she had a tiara to feel like a true princess. After all today was also a big day for Charlotte as well and Christian and I. We were giving her a united family.

I grip Ray's arm tightly and turn to him.

"Thank you, daddy, for being here and doing this."

I know he wasn't happen when Christian first came back into the picture but him being here to support us means the world to me.

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you baby girl, you know that and I guess that groom of yours isn't all that bad." He winks at me.

"I'm ready. Let's do this."

To the sounds of the sea and birds singing above I begin my journey, step by step to the man who has always held my heart passing firstly Taylor and Gail who nod and smile at me, Carrick, Grace and Mia who have tears in their eyes. My mother and Bob who are grinning at me, then Kate and Elliot who are each holding onto one of their little girls. Ros and Gwen both give me a thumbs up as I near them before finally ending up in front of Christian whose eyes are swimming with unshed tears.

Ray lifts my hand from his arm placing it in Christian's own. With a kiss to my cheek he goes and takes his seat.

My heart is about to burst from joy as I stare at him with Charlotte by his side who's giggling from happiness.

"Hi." He whispers to me as our eyes are glued to each other.

"Hi." I repeat.

"You're breathtaking." I blush under his stare and words.

The minister begins his spiel about love and family not that I'm paying much attention to his words. My attention is trained on the man in front of me, whose thumb has not stopped running back and forth over my knuckles from the second he took my hand in his.

"Anastasia, I have thought about the words I would say to you in this moment for so long but then I drew a blank, I couldn't think so instead I will go with what's in my heart and that is you. You and our daughter. You took up residence in my heart and soul all those years ago and never left. I love you more today than I thought possible. You have given me so much already and now it's my turn to give you everything and more. It took us a long time to get here but I will never leave your side again. You are my whole life, my love, my more in this world. I will be beside you until my last breath. I promise to hold you and our union deep in my heart, forsaking all others. I will protect you, trust you and respect you. I will give you everything your heart desires and never let a day go by without showing you what you mean to me.

"I take you, Anastasia to be my wife, to share with you our lives together, I will be your strength when you feel weak, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in joy and sorrow until death do we part. I give you all that I am and my love, with this ring I seal my vow to you."

He slips the band on my finger then follows it with a kiss from his lips.

I compose myself even as the tears fall down my cheeks.

"Christian, in the time we were apart I would dream of what it would be like to become a family, I spent a lot of time growing and searching for things but one thing I know to be true is that I'm not complete without you. Charlotte and I need you and the day dreams I used to have are nothing compared to the reality and love you have given us. I have loved you every single day from the very first time our eyes ever met and the most powerful thing besides love in this world is forgiveness. I will stand by your side, I will love and support you and cherish you and our union. A love like ours comes along once in a lifetime, we were given a second chance and I'm not letting it or you go this time around.

"I take you, Christian to be my husband, to share with you our lives together, I will be your strength when you feel weak, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, in joy and sorrow until death do we part. I give you all that I am and my love, with this ring I seal my vow to you."

As soon as I have placed his ring on him he pulls me closer.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." The minister announces.

I hear cheers as Christian grabs me by my hips into his body then his arms wrap around my waist, my hands against his chest as we kiss. Our first kiss as a married couple is both gentle and passionate at the same time, trying to convey the joy and love we both feel in this moment. It's over much too soon as Charlotte worms her way between our legs separating our bodies wanting to be picked up and included in the celebration.

After both our mothers are satisfied with the amount of photos they have taken we follow our friends and family, leisurely strolling hand in hand further down the beach to the area that will host our dinner. It looks magnificent, the staff here really outdoing themselves.

There are several tiki torches lit along the edge of the water just beyond where we will be seated along with two very large bonfires brightly burning on either side of the beach surrounding us in its warmth and glow just as the sun is setting.

All sixteen of us take our seats at one long rectangle table with Christian and I in the middl. It's covered in small tea candles and flowers of every colour imaginable. Halfway through our dinner of delicious chicken and roasted vegetables the stars begin to come out. I look up at them twinkling down at us. Today could not have been more perfect if it had been written in some great romance novel.

Charlotte has been flitting from lap to lap and dancing around the table as the DJ provided by the resort has been playing music in the background.

We're surrounded by so much love tonight, it's a tangible thing. Everybody is smiling or laughing like one big happy family, which is all I ever could have asked for.

Charlie is currently sitting on her father's lap having some cake, I lift my hand and push some of her sweaty curls back off her forehead. She'll be spending the next week with my mother and Bob who will be staying at our house in Seattle until we return. I've never been away from her for so long and will miss her terribly. I look up at my husband and smile, I have this need to be closer to him so I lean across to kiss him just because I can.

The music changes to a slower beat and Christian takes my hand.

"May I have this dance?"

He shifts Charlie off his lap to Mia, helps me stand and walks across the cool sand to the wooden dance floor that has been placed on the beach underneath white and blue fairy lights hanging from the trees above, where he pulls me into his arms, my own around his neck.

"I love this song." I say as Ed Sheeran's voice comes over the speakers.

 _I found a love for me  
Darling just dive right in  
And follow my lead  
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet  
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me  
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love_

 _Not knowing what it was  
I will not give you up this time  
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own  
And in your eyes you're holding mine_

 _Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms  
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song  
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath  
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight_

 _Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know  
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home  
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets  
To carry love, to carry children of our own  
We are still kids, but we're so in love_

 _Fighting against all odds  
I know we'll be alright this time  
Darling, just hold my hand  
Be my girl, I'll be your man  
I see my future in your eyes_

"I can't wait to get you all to myself and peel this dress off you, Mrs Grey." He tells me with a dark gleam in his eyes causing butterflies of excitement in my stomach and my thighs to tighten in response.

"Is that so?" I tease.

His face becomes serious all of a sudden.

"Do you have any idea how long I've waited to say those two words to you. Mrs Grey."

Probably about as long as I've wished to hear them. However tonight of all nights I don't want him thinking about what has happened between us previously. I want only joy and new happy memories being made. There's no room for regrets tonight.

We look at each other communicating without words the love and forgiveness.

"It's in the past." I tell him before capturing his lips with mine once more continuing to sway.

My arousal is building with each minute we spend holding each other and kissing, his erection is prodding against my stomach as he holds on to me tightly. I need to feel him, I need him to claim me as his, I believe he can sense it in the urgency of my kisses because he pulls away panting.

"I think it's time to say goodnight." He states.

Our family will be staying on the other side of the island for a couple of days before they and Charlotte fly home. Christian and I will remain here for another week, just the two us doing nothing but probably being naked which suits me just fine.

We give Charlie hugs and kisses goodnight before Christian picks me up in his arms bridal style and rushes away with big strides to our villa while Elliot catcalls behind us.

As our wedding day comes to an end, here in my husband's arms my soul feels as if it's flying, I feel carefree, I feel adored and cherished. We have created beautiful lasting memories and more memories are just about to be made if the look in his eyes is anything to go by.

 **Song lyrics: Perfect by Ed Sheeran**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 22**

 **Epilogue – 10 years later**

 **CPOV**

I'm seated at my desk in my office at Grey House looking over the row of photographs that are lined up before me of my family. My collection has grown quite a bit over time making me smile each and every day.

I can't believe it's been ten years since Ana and I got married, it feels as if the time has flown by. Our anniversary is coming up and I'm planning on taking her away back to that island for a week. Nothing but my wife, sun, sand and sex, my idea of heaven on earth, not forgetting the peace and quiet, I don't think a day goes by that these kids are not bickering with each other. The kids will be staying with my parents while we're gone, I can only hope they don't pull any of their pranks or that their grandparents allow them to binge on too much sugar.

They have been happy years, sure there were times when everything wasn't all rainbows and sunshine but there is no one I would rather have by my side through it all. I'm so proud of Ana, between taking care of the kids and her charity work she has done wonderful things with Grey Publishing making it more successful than I even imagined possible.

I pick up in my hands the photo taken on our wedding day with the ocean in the background. The love and happiness is reflected back at me from the couple smiling at the camera. I spent more time inside my wife than out during our honeymoon, there was one day in particular where she had to tell me she needed a break, hell even I was beginning to feel sore but it was so worth it, just recalling those days gets me grinning and hard.

Every detail of my wedding day is burned into my memory like it was yesterday. From the moment I saw her in her dress walking towards me, I actually felt my heart swell, she was a vision and the most incredibly beautiful woman in the world, the words she spoke to me, her smell, our kiss, I was a lucky son of a bitch and I was going to make every moment and day from that second count.

Our last day on the island was bittersweet, we had an incredible time staying there, just being together and talking when we weren't fucking, however we both were missing our daughter, that was the longest time Ana had ever been away from her and if I'm honest I too was anxious to get back home and see her in person, we Skyped with her each evening but it wasn't the same.

 _Rolling around in the rumpled sheets of our bed, as the cool evening sea breeze flows in through the open doors bringing with it the scent of the ocean and flowers, I continue to lazily kiss my wife._

 _"_ _Back home and to reality tomorrow." I mention as I lift my head to gaze at her._

 _"_ _I know." She sighs while her hands run over my back._

 _"_ _I miss Charlotte. Can't believe I'm saying this but I've also missed her jumping on my stomach to wake me up."_

 _"_ _Me too," she admits, "I have never been away from her this long before and I was worried how she would handle it, but our parents have taken great care of her."_

 _"_ _That they have." I concur as I kiss her bare shoulder._

 _"_ _Thank you for a perfect honeymoon, Mr Grey."_

 _"_ _You are very welcome, Mrs Grey and you deserved it."_

Two months after our wedding, we were settling into a routine with work and Charlie had begun preschool, life was wonderful and I didn't think it could get any better but I was wrong. There have been certain significant events throughout our marriage that hold a special place in my heart, finding out Ana was pregnant again was one of those.

 _As I'm coming out of the walk in robe with a tie in my hands Ana comes out of the bathroom with a frown on her face and stops in the doorway._

 _"_ _Ana?" I call to her._

 _She looks up at me across the bedroom, the frown not leaving her face._

 _"_ _Are you okay, baby?"_

 _"_ _I'm late." She whispers._

 _"_ _For what?"_

 _She shakes her head at me._

 _"_ _No, my period is late."_

 _"_ _Oh!" I drop the tie and stride over to her, my hands automatically finding her waist. "How late?"_

 _"_ _A week."_

 _"_ _Are you….?"_

 _"_ _I don't know. Maybe."_

 _"_ _Don't you have to take a test or something to know for sure?"_

 _"_ _I'm afraid to take it." She tells me avoiding eye contact._

 _"_ _Why?" Doesn't she want to know? I sure as hell do._

 _"_ _Well…because… last time…."she fades off._

 _Fuck! Of course memories of how this went last time would come flooding back to her._

 _I pull her into my chest and kiss her temple._

 _"_ _Listen to me, I was the biggest idiot on the planet last time. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. How about you go take a relaxing bath while I go but you a test to take. Work will survive without me today."_

 _After a moment's hesitation she agrees._

 _I give her a quick kiss before running out the room calling out for Taylor as I go._

 _Forty five minutes later I'm waiting for Anastasia to finish up in our bathroom. As I was buying her not one but three pregnancy tests I also came across these cute brown teddy bears. On impulse I bought one and handed it to her along with the tests. It was my way of reassuring her._

 _"_ _Baby's first teddy." She gives me a big smile taking it onto her hands._

 _I can't sit still, my right leg is bouncing up and down as I continue to wait._

 _She finally comes out wearing her white bathrobe with her hands folded together in front of her body._

 _"_ _Now we wait two minutes." She puffs out a breathe._

 _Okay, two more minutes._

 _I pull her down on my lap encircling her with my arms._

 _"_ _I'm excited and nervous." I admit. "God, what if you're not and we have to go through this all over again?" I don't want to get my hopes up too high just in case._

 _"_ _We'll know soon enough."_

 _We sit quietly on our bed waiting. Ana's fingers constantly combing the back of my hair a sign she's as nervous as I am. We wait for a lot longer than two minutes neither one of us moving._

 _"_ _I don't want to look in case it's negative. You look." She demands of me. I chuckle at her, kiss her cheek and move her butt off my lap onto the bed before making my way into the bathroom where I see the stick laying on the counter. I have no clue how to read these things._

 _"_ _Ana, what does two lines mean?" I yell out._

 _She runs into the room, her eyes wide._

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _Two lines. What does that mean?"_

 _"_ _Two?_

 _"_ _Yes, two."_

 _She comes closer and looks at the stick._

 _"_ _Two lines mean positive. Christian…." He eyes become glassy._

 _Positive…meaning….we're pregnant._

 _I can't help the great big yelp that leaves my mouth. I'm laughing from joy while tears are flowing down my face at the same time. I grab Ana into my arms, kissing her like my life depended on it. I release her lips long enough to lift her up and swing her around._

 _"_ _We're having a baby!"_

 _"_ _We're having a baby," she repeats._

 _"_ _You make me so happy, God, I love you so much, thank you, Ana. Thank you."_

 _This is how I should have reacted the first time. However mentioning it will only bring us both down and that is the last thing I want, I want to feel this euphoria for as long as possible._

I place our wedding photo back on my desk and pick up the one of a pregnant Ana. We went to see a doctor the next day to confirm it and ensure everything looked good before deciding to tell the family. I couldn't help but not touch her stomach knowing our baby was in there that night as we lay in bed. The knowledge that I would be able to see them the next day keeping me up most of the night wondering what exactly I would see. Watching Ana have an ultrasound was a new experience for me.

 _Ana is laid out on the large blue plastic chair or bed, whatever you want to call it, as the doctor rolls the probe over her stomach. My eyes are glued to the screen hoping to see something but all I can make out is grey static. She pushes down further on Ana's abdomen, then the picture suddenly clears up and I see it. Right there in my wife's body is a tiny little life._

 _I lay eyes on our little invader for the first time. I can feel my heart expanding to make room for this tiny little guy already. My mind has gone blank and I'm living in the moment absorbing every little movement he makes. I already love him and can't wait to meet him._

 _"_ _He's beautiful." I kiss Ana on her sweet lips._

 _"_ _Could be a she," she murmurs against my mouth._

 _"_ _Huh." Dr Greene says surprised._

 _"_ _What, is something wrong?" I fell Ana tense up as I hold her hand._

 _"_ _Oh, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. Look here, you can see your baby." She points to the screen then she moves her finger slightly to the right, "and right over here is their sibling," she casually announces._

 _"_ _What was that?" I don't think I heard her correctly._

 _"_ _Congratulations, it's twins."_

 _"_ _Two Babies? Twins? Are you sure?" Ana asks her._

 _"_ _Absolutely and everything looks perfect."_

 _Ana's head whips to the side and she throws daggers at me with her eyes._

 _"_ _Damn you, Christian and your sperm, this is your fault."_

 _Not sure how she came to that conclusion but I say nothing. There are two babies in there. I stare at Ana's stomach trying to process this new information._

 _"_ _Do you have any idea how huge I'm going to get?"_

 _"_ _More of you to love, baby."_

 _Okay so this is going to take a moment to sink in and get used to._

 _"_ _Shut up. You can't do things like any other person can you, one would have been fine, but no, you always have to go above and beyond."_

 _"_ _Anastasia, stop freaking out, everything is going to be fine, you'll see. I need to go and get another teddy bear." I smile._

 _I grab a hold of her chin and force her to look into my eyes. I understand it's a surprise but we can handle it and I try to convey that to her._

 _"_ _Then you push them out."_

After the shock wore off on the drive home, we were both all smiles. Dr Greene gave us a number of leaflets to read through and things to be aware of with carrying twins, sure there is risk involved with every pregnancy but I was worried about Ana coping with the strain her body was about to go under, but first there was one little person we had to tell. Charlotte had previously asked to be a big sister however now that it was happening would she be just as excited as we were.

 _We've just finished eating dinner and before Charlie bolts out of her chair to leave Ana takes hold of her hand and smiles at her._

 _"_ _Daddy and I have something very important to tell you." Ana begins._

 _"_ _Am I getting a puppy? Or a kitten?"_

 _We both laugh at her, this kid will do anything for a pet._

 _"_ _No, it's something even better, well we think it is. Mummy is having a baby."_

 _"_ _Really?" Her face splits into a grin while her wide eyes are darting back and forth between us. "You're not shitting me?"_

 _"_ _Okay first of all, watch your language and I'll be having words with your Aunt Mia too, but yes, you're going to be a big sister."_

 _She screeches, her fists clench and she stands up proceeding to jump up and down on the spot from her excitement._

 _Ana pulls her into her arms, moving her hair off her face._

 _"_ _I'm glad you're happy about this, in fact I'm having twins, so you're getting two siblings."_

 _"_ _No way!" She whispers. "Oh my gosh, thank you, thank you. This is so cool, please don't be boys, they're smelly and loud."_

 _"_ _Well I can't guarantee that but they will love you and you will love them no matter what they are."_

 _Charlotte leans down to press her small hand on her mother and talks to Ana's stomach._

 _"_ _Hi in there, we're gonna have so much fun together but don't forget I'm in charge."_

As the months went by and our children and Ana grew I would watch her with awe, she had this glow as she kept our children safe, one particular day as I had my hand on her stomach it hit me that all these things I'm enjoying are the things I missed out on previously with Charlotte so I made sure to spend extra time with Charlie, just the two of us. I couldn't go back and do it over again but I also didn't want her to see me paying attention to Ana and talking to the twins while she was carrying them and wonder about when Ana was pregnant with her and the fact I wasn't around. My asshole self wanted to beat myself up. I loved her and ensured I told her every single day. Ana told me not to worry so much, that Charlie won't even remember that time but it's something I needed to do for myself.

Andrea knocks on my door bringing me in my lunch. I thank her as I place the photo down and pick up my chicken wrap. Chicken and I have a strained relationship ever since Ana's crazy craving with it.

 _"_ _Christian…are you sleeping?" I feel shaking on my shoulder._

 _My eyes are stinging and I don't want to open them, I force myself to roll over and face Ana. I squint at her noticing she is sitting up with the lamp on._

 _I grunt in answer._

 _"_ _I'm hungry. I want chicken." She's seven months along and is beginning to struggle to move around._

 _Chicken again? It's been chicken for the past week now. We had it for dinner and there were no left overs. Her cravings are killing me, it's always something random and never anything twice in a row except fucking chicken. One day it would be ice cream and two days later salty nuts._

 _"_ _Really Ana, it's1:00am, where am I going to get a chicken in the middle of the night? I can visit a farm and pick you up a fresh one if you like." Okay I'm being a dick but I'm fucking exhausted and need to be in the office at 7am for an international call._

 _She starts to cry and covers her face with her hands._

 _"_ _You don't care." She sniffles._

 _I sit up, and hug her to me removing her hands and wiping her tears._

 _"_ _Baby you know I don't mean it, I'm just tired, I was asleep two minutes ago but seriously, how about eggs instead, they come from chickens?"_

One month after that we were welcoming our babies into the world. They were a month early but it was to be expected with twins. I admit I was a mess and freaking out. Ana went into labour in the afternoon, we left Charlotte at the house with Gail and rushed to the hospital. At the last check-up we had we were advised that the baby in front was breech, we were hoping it would turn on its own but it never did so we had no choice but for Ana to have a caesarean. As she was taken into the operating room while I changed into scrubs I was uncertain and fearful, our lives were about to change drastically, I was praying that they all come out alright from this.

Finishing with my lunch I go to the first photo ever take of them as babies.

We never found out the sex so we were pleased to have one of each. Theodore and Phoebe Grey made their entrance with loud angry cries.

They both have Ana's brown hair and cute little button noses, my son has my grey eyes and his sister her mother's blue. They were perfect in every way, so tiny and precious and I instantly became overprotective over them. It was love at first sight.

 _We have been left alone to bond with them while we wait for Sawyer to bring Charlotte to meet her siblings._

 _"_ _Thank you, Ana, I love you, I love our family, I am so proud of you, you are incredible."_

 _I take her face in my hands and lay a loving kiss on her only to be interrupted by a cry. I guess I should get used to it._

 _Little Phoebe is fussing so I go over to her bassinet. It takes me a couple of tries to pick her up and bring her to my chest where she quietens down._

 _"_ _I don't know what I'm doing, am I holding her correctly?" I wasn't there for this with Charlie, I will be worrying over every little thing._

 _"_ _Yes, just support her head and neck. You are an amazing father, Christian, don't worry so much it will come naturally to you, but you're changing the first diapers."_

 _I laugh softly to not disturb my daughter when there is a knock on the door. Charlotte comes on in and pulls herself up on the bed._

 _"_ _Be careful with mummy, she has a sore tummy.' I warn however her attention is glued to the baby in my arms._

 _I take a seat and introduce her to her sister first and then her brother._

 _"_ _I'm a big sister."_

 _"_ _You sure are."_

 _"_ _They're so wrinkly." She crunches up her nose._

My phone dings with a message from Ana pulling me out of my daydream. I read her text letting me know my brother and Kate are coming over for lunch on Sunday. I changed my phone's background photo only yesterday and I can't help but chuckle at it. It's our most recent family photo which was taken last Christmas, it has quickly become one of my favourites, it just so happened to be taken at the exact moment when Teddy gave a loud and smelly burp and it caught everyone's reaction to it.

Life with three kids has been both wonderful and challenging, they have all had more scrapes, falls and bruises than I can count, they keep things interesting and never fail to let you know when you're wrong.

Charlotte has been an amazing big sister to the twins, they play, they fight but she has always looked out for them, protected them, even lied for them and they adore her but they have learned to not disturb her when she's reading, she's my little bookworm and takes after Ana in that regard.

Phoebe is an animal lover, she brings home all types of creatures much to her mother's delight, she begged and begged for a dog, we eventually caved thinking a family pet would be a good thing to teach them all responsibility so one day we brought home a chocolate coloured Labrador who they named Coco. It was all fun and games until the day Phoebe and Coco decided to roll around in the mud together after a rainy day then trod through the house with their muddy footprints. Ana screamed bloody murder at the sight of the carpet.

Teddy is my prankster, he likes to tell jokes and hide behind corners to jump out and scare you, I'm certain Elliot has had a hand in a few of his pranks, there is one day which I very well remember where he swapped the sugar for salt, my morning coffee did not go down well that day.

The only dark cloud that fell over our family was the day we found out that our son had inherited my heart condition. He fell ill with a virus when he was a few months old and we ended up in the hospital for a week.

It was a terrible time, Ana spent that whole first day crying. She was convinced we were going to lose him. I hated to see my wife hurting and in tears, she somehow felt responsible which was crazy, if anyone was to blame it's me, I left them at the hospital that night and went home and got drunk, the guilt eating at my for causing this but playing the blame game wasn't going to help anyone. I pulled my head out my ass, Ana and I talked and knew we had to be strong for him and each other and we haven't looked back and let it affect us since.

Growing up he tires a lot easier than his sister but other than that his childhood is as normal as can be, he has yearly doctor's appointments, he's tough, he's a Grey and we don't let things get the better of us. We're considering starting him on medication when he hits his teens if necessary, we take it one day at a time, it's all we can do. As far as he's aware his heart just works a little differently to his sisters.

My kids may bring me to want to pull my hair out but deep down they're good and kind and I wouldn't have them any other way.

XXXXX

I wake up on Saturday to an empty bed and quiet house. Glancing at the clock it tells me that it's already 9:30am. I can't believe I slept in past nine. Ana and the kids are probably done with breakfast by now. I stretch my sore muscles and slowly get up.

I make my way to the kitchen where I greet my family. I get good mornings from the twins and a kiss from my wife however Charlotte ignores me, good to see she's still angry from last night.

She's 16 and wants to start dating, over my dead body that's happening, she's going to give me my first gray hairs, let me tell you that was not a pleasant conversation yesterday. She brought up the topic over dinner and argued until she was blue in the face, she even tried asking her mother to talk sense to me, but Ana just agreed that she was too young and to wait another year. Overnight we have become the hated parents who don't understand, this must be payback for the shit I put my parents through.

There is no denying she is a beautiful young lady just like her mother and if I have to ban her from ever leaving this house in order to protect her from those wormy little boys she goes to school with then I will, no matter how much she argues.

Two hours later I'm standing at the front window, watching Charlie walk down the driveway as she leaves to go to Mia's place to help her set up for her youngest son's birthday party this afternoon. She still has not said a single word to me all morning, stubborn female that she is. I recall the first time I saw her in her yellow dress and pigtails, she was the sweetest little girl, she still is and yet so much has changed, boy am I going to be glad when these teenage dramas are behind us.

"Hey, here you are. What are you doing?"

Ana comes into the room and stands beside me wrapping her arms around my chest glancing out the window along with me.

"She's growing up." I sadly say as I see her get into one of our cars with security.

"She is but she's smart, Christian, we've done a good job raising her, she won't do anything too crazy."

I can only hope she's right.

I let out a deep sigh.

"You know, yesterday while I was at work I was gazing at the photos on my desk and thinking about where I would be right now if I didn't come for you, would I even know her, we definitely wouldn't have those other two trouble makers."

I turn to face my wife who has only grown in beauty over the years.

"Everything happens for a reason honey, maybe it was always meant to turn out like this, who knows? But I'm glad you did come for us, as much I tried to hate and forget you I couldn't, you were imprinted in my soul, Christian Grey."

She stands on her tip toes to reach my lips.

"I've got an imprint right here for you." I pull her to stand in front of me with my arms around her waist as I push my erection into her ass, my lips attacking her neck.

"Oh my God, stop the kids are around somewhere." She swats her arms at me taking a step away and spinning to face me.

"I love you." I tell her with as much sincerity as I can.

"I love you more."

She rests her head on my chest and we just stand there in our living room, content to hold onto each other surrounded by the sound of our children laughing in the other room.

Sometimes the way we plan our lives out isn't how they end up. We make mistakes, we learn and grow. Things that are out of our control occur but it's how you deal with it that shows your strength and character.

After making the biggest mistake of my life I was lost, I was angry and alone but importantly I learned to never take anything and anyone for granted again. After my accident and going through a horrible period where everything was a struggle I almost gave up but I fought, I fought my body to walk again and I fought for my heart and soul and it was worth every day I spent in pain whether physical or emotional to get here. Ana has given me a life full of happiness that I thought was lost to me forever. The love of my family is my greatest blessing.

This is our happily ever after.

 **THE END**

 **I apologise for taking so long to get this final chapter to you but sometimes life gets in the way. Thank you to every one of you who read and reviewed and followed me on the journey these two characters took. I appreciate all your support and hope you enjoyed it as much I did sharing it with you.**

 **I have two new stories I'm working on and hoping to be able to start posting soon plus if you haven't checked it out yet I'm co-writing a story with ruby34 called My Heart In Your Hands.**


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